Trigger for simplifying?

Razz:

You designed quite a pleasant life for yourself. :)

watergoddess:

A SLer marrying another SLer? Lovely and lucky!

About 20 years ago when I was 27 turning 28, I went through a depression that lasted almost an entire year. Basically all I did was sleep, go to work, sleep, play solitaire, sleep...and cry quite a bit. In an effort to help myself, I started borrowing self-help books from the library; one of them was Your Money or Your Life. My life changed. Since then I've kept track of every dollar spent, not that I was a big spender before, but it seemed to give me more control. This led to simple living, frugality, minimalism, etc.

Back when Beanie Babies were the biggest craze, I remember my coworkers going out during their lunch break to buy them. I owned one and had no desire for more. In the past, that would make me feel a bit left out, but it didn't bother me at all. Nowadays, I'm still behind in most things, like Smartphones, electronics, popular tv shows---I'm just not interested. What I am interested in are things like spending time with my horse, reading, biking, quality entertainment. Not the most popular things to do with other people, but I've always been a bit of a loner anyway.

Before this big change, it felt as if I was just doing what was expected and just following everyone else. Now, I feel like I'm being myself, which may be a bit odd to some, but it's closer to the real me.

Pony Mom:

Thank you for sharing. That depression was a real trigger then? Profound. I am a loner too, though I am fairly active in my community I still like to spend a lot of solo time. I go fishing alone, canoeing alone, and I often like to take my meals alone too. When I am alone I am never bored. But sometimes other people bore me. Is that bad to say? haha

UltralightAngler, yes that depression was such a life-changing thing that I'd go through it again in the hopes of more positive changes!

I'm rarely bored when alone either. Today I was talking with a coworker, saying that I can't wait to live on my own (live with parents for financial reasons and to help them out). People just really annoy me. I'm probably annoying as well, but who would I complain to?

"It's better to be alone than to wish you were".

Retirement from my first career at a young age, 51. It took me 11 months to figure out the plan for the rest of my life and 4 years to put it into action. Simplicity became an intricate part of the plan. Less income....less things to take care of....means I got rid of half my personal belongings. They were just a cement block to be chained to anyway. Instead of stuff, I chose people, places and experiences. It was way more work than I imagined. But the early retirement is what triggered it. I still have a little 5x8 storage unit with stuff I can't get rid of but I'm working on it little by little.

Williamsmith:

I am intrigued by that itty-bitty storage unit you have. May I ask (in vague terms) what is in it that is so hard to part with? I too have a few things I am on the fence about keeping or getting rid of, but man...it can be tough to make those choices. You know?

pony mom:

I live with two housemates at the moment. It is not bad because I can take my canoe out on the weekend and be totally alone in nature when I am fishing. Plus. my roommates are really good folks.

Being alone gives me time to recharge, think creatively, relax, make touch decisions, and -- when I do decide to be social -- it helps me to appreciate it. :)

You know what I mean?

I had triggers at various times in my life. I was raised on frugality and the values of work ethic, savings, always pay your CC in full, and be prepared to be independent, do not rely on a husband. Took those words to heart in my first job where I also learned about 401k plans. Became obsessed with contributing to that. So I didn't have a ton leftover for "things", my mother is a semi-hoarder and it drove me nuts. I had the basics, met ex-DH who was good at making a budget but not as good at saving and buying what you need as cheaply as possible. When we divorced, I bought a town home and was darn proud to see just my name on the mortgage statement. I was frugal again for a long time until I could see better where I stood financially with my job and child support. Less frugal again, took yearly vacations, while done as cheaply as possible, in hindsight they cost a lot. I was still frugal, but not enough, did extreme couponing for HBA and profited $1400 to put in the Roth IRA. Stopped that, still cheap but not paying as much close attention to it.

In a twist of fate, my parents and I decided to sell our homes and get a handicapped equipped home for my terminally ill mother, the plan being as she needed me more, it would be easier to be in the same house. Also, DS graduated and is staying with dad and DD is a junior. I had no need for a 20000 sq ft 3 story townhouse. By joining forces, I was left mortgage free after paying my share of this house and bills are split. Out of the blue became ill in the fall, had no reason to think I would be unable to go back to the job I loved, got worse and worse until my position was posted in June and I left the company 5 days short of 23 yrs. I used all my employer's and my vol short term disability and am awaiting Long Term Disability and hopefully, eventually SSDI. So right now I am income-less with a lot going out to Cobra, co-pays and meds.

I do have savings to cover this for now. And I can touch retirement without penalty, I was told by 2 different advisers what I can take each month and never touch the principle, I forget what that is because I am trying to do anything but touch retirement money. So a sudden loss of the ability to work, serious medical issues that keep me from doing a whole heck of a lot, all that triggered the ultimate frugality. Except execution of it is now very difficult. My parents graciously pay food and home taxes. I told my dad, I would be willing to track down the best grocery deals, coupons, etc. But he is the only one who can drive and is having surgery in a few weeks. He feels we are frugal enough on food, fine, not the time to fight this battle.

So this is my ultimate frugal test, stretch savings when there is no income. I pay the TimeWarner bill (tried to drop channels, my dad freaked out, since he is taking care of 2 people, I figure give the man his cable), cell phone- I recently changed to a better plan, not sure if there is better out there, AT&T is honoring my 24% work discount even though I don't work there anymore. But if I leave and come back, I cannot get it again. Then basically all medical stuff which adds up alarmingly quickly. I have not spent one penny on anything but the above that I can think of in many months. Christmas gifts for the kids, their birthdays, no one else is getting presents. Occasional clothes for DD, she is bouncing between both houses, hates seeing me unwell so she needed to go to the ex's more. Understandable, but sad. So neither of us is paying support. But ex has launched a legal battle to gain full custody because DD should not have to be exposed to illness. So even though so far the judge has ruled on hearings in my favor, I still have a costly legal bill over something stupid, let DD decide where she wants to be when. I am not so ill that I am disfigured like the Elephant Man, she may be nervous and we will talk about what is going on. But I don't think we need lawyers and judges to tell us that.

Also, when just starting out, Your Money or Your Life, Affluenza, Financial Planning for Dummies, Jane Bryant Quinn's huge the about just about anything finance related, books on simplicity helped. I have a feeling they will help again

freshstart:

My heart goes out to you. You seem to be in some overwhelming scenarios.

Freshstart: so sorry to hear about the custody battle. YOu should not have to go through this when fighting an illness too. Hugs:))