Day of Reckoning

I grew up in a mostly non-communicative single parent household. I don't recall any conversations about what to do about my future or education. My only real talent/interest was art. State college at the time was very affordable but the only thing offered other than fine art was commercial art so I declined. My parents both had advanced professional degrees so why they didn't counsel me more, I will never know. DD was very self-directed and had inheritance money for undergrad but got a few loans for grad school. At 42, I think she is still paying the grad school loans off.

Coming back to this thread belatedly. My mother was an RN and my father was a captain in the Merchant Marines, although neither of them went to college. So they were encouraging and supportive of me, but didn't really have the relevant experience to guide me.
I was an excellent student when I wanted to be, so everyone expected me to go to college. I was also a stubborn jackass of a teenager, so I decided that I wasn't gonna go to college and nobody could make me, lol. I really didn't have a clear understanding that I was going to have to support myself as an adult in the world, and I graduated from college without any real goals or sense of direction. So I got a crappy job in a factory that was truly mind-numbing, and I called my high school guidance counselor from the pay phone at lunch begging him to help me get into college. I had never taken SATs, so community college was the best next step for me. My parents were willing to pay for me to go to a private school, but I was told there would be terms and conditions, so I chose a school I could pay for myself (of course with my parents support, so not at self-sufficient as I liked to think of myself). Once I became focused, I did very well in college and graduated first in my class. I often seemed to prefer learning life's lessons the hard way.

I had student loans in the amount of $5000 or so..I paid loans off @ $28/month. I earned a BA in English Lit. Had anyone asked me (parents or guidance counselor), I would have shared that my goal from a tot was to be journalist/writer. And I would have benefited from going to Journalism School.

Actually, once when I was quite young I did say to my Mom, "When I grow up, I want to have a book in the library with my name on it (as author) as I so loved the library and reading..Mom said to me, "Oh, Big Shot, eh?" My old-school Dad thought women should be housewives, secretaries, nurses or teachers..writers were ill-paid....

As it turned out, I did make my living from writing (PR, advertising, magazine journalism, creative writing, authored a novel, etc.) Mostly, I was self-taught. Read books on how to write articles/interview/get free-lance assignments.

I always remembered a line from a Cat Stevens song that so resonated with me:

"From the moment I could talk, I was ordered to listen..."

Parents--please ask your children what they want to be when they grow up...and encourage/nurture them to pursue it with all their hearts...

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Originally Posted by HappyHiker

Parents--please ask your children what they want to be when they grow up...and encourage/nurture them to pursue it with all their hearts...

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In my experience observing others, this leads to massive student loans and few marketable skills.

My parents were college educated and good at talking about professional goals for grown-up life and college curriculum.

But…It’s odd that they didn’t read me well and I remember my mother saying things like I should be a music major duh I’m not even good at that. They mentioned me being an occupational therapist because I was a little bit artistic and “good with my hands” but nooooo! ! I would have to work one on one with humans and probably even touch them. That is a big no.��

my brother had several short lived careers in his 20s: public relations for his college, radio Dj, paid political campaign worker all with a degree in journalism. Then he went back to school to get a two-year degree in respiratory therapy and that’s what he’s been doing for decades.

okay--what has happened is that a corporation from Ca. has come in, built the biggest wreckon yard in town, and all the independent, home-owned hillbilly wreckin' yards have gone belly-up, one by one. Well, when the big outfit first came in, they were pretty cheap, okay? But guess what? Now that they have almost a monopoly, they've jacked the prices waaaay up. Yup. about the only time you can get a reasonable price on stuff isv about 4 times a year which is a holiday weekend when most Normies get in their car and get out and DRIVE like crazy. But no, not littlebittymee; my holliday turdition ista go ta the wreckin' yard & maybe pull a motor or tranny or something. Yup. They usta have a 50%-off sales, but now it's like a 40%-off. It's miserable to have a Day of Reckoning at the Wreckin' yard. Yup.

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Originally Posted by littlebittybobby

okay--what has happened is that a corporation from Ca. has come in, built the biggest wreckon yard in town, and all the independent, home-owned hillbilly wreckin' yards have gone belly-up, one by one. Well, when the big outfit first came in, they were pretty cheap, okay? But guess what? Now that they have almost a monopoly, they've jacked the prices waaaay up. Yup. about the only time you can get a reasonable price on stuff isv about 4 times a year which is a holiday weekend when most Normies get in their car and get out and DRIVE like crazy. But no, not littlebittymee; my holliday turdition ista go ta the wreckin' yard & maybe pull a motor or tranny or something. Yup. They usta have a 50%-off sales, but now it's like a 40%-off. It's miserable to have a Day of Reckoning at the Wreckin' yard. Yup.

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That's a shame, bobby.

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Originally Posted by iris lilies

My parents were college educated and good at talking about professional goals for grown-up life and college curriculum.

But…It’s odd that they didn’t read me well and I remember my mother saying things like I should be a music major duh I’m not even good at that. They mentioned me being an occupational therapist because I was a little bit artistic and “good with my hands” but nooooo! ! I would have to work one on one with humans and probably even touch them. That is a big no.��

my brother had several short lived careers in his 20s: public relations for his college, radio Dj, paid political campaign worker all with a degree in journalism. Then he went back to school to get a two-year degree in respiratory therapy and that’s what he’s been doing for decades.

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My mom wanted me to become a dentist. Her reasoning was the money was pretty good and the stress level would be much milder than medicine. Who knows, she may have been right. As it happened, I stumbled around a few different career paths before settling on what worked for me in balancing out the various factors.

I’m not a big believer in the whole “follow your passion” thing. Apart from changing desires and circumstances, it seems to me that insisting you need to be a filmmaker or pilot or golf pro for your life to be meaningful or successful is a pretty good formula for unhappiness.

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Originally Posted by Tradd

In my experience observing others, this leads to massive student loans and few marketable skills.

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You see a lot of that. Maybe too many parents aren’t saying “no” enough, resulting in unreasonable expectations. It also results in too many youngsters who believe they should be running the company by the end of their second year.

I grew up with a lot of financial constraints and no influential connections. Maybe that sort of upbringing teaches you the importance of contingency planning and tradeoffs.

The follow your passion thing, never worked for me. Everything that I enjoyed, turned from fun stuff to work, and they wanted me to pretty much work 24 hours a day, seven days a week. That was then, fixing other people problems, whether car repair, computer work, etc. etc.
The restaurant, was just a job, and look at what it turned into.
Everything that I enjoyed as a hobby, at some point became a job, then no longer even a time for/as a hobby.