The Daily Peeve / Rant

I’m steaming. I know a local family through Buy Nothing group. The mother has picked up multiple small housewares items from me over the past 6 months. The mother made a few comments that made me think they were struggling. We’ve become somewhat friends and will chat via text. She was very venting about their situation The husband has medical issues and can’t work. She was trying to keep their single car from being repoed. She works 1.5 jobs. Husband was tried to get disability but was refused first time. They’re working with a lawyer for a second try. One of the kids has medical issues. In and out of the hospital. She told me she had cobbled three credit cards together for groceries. I sent her $100 for groceries.

I told her I would like to help with holiday meals and gifts for the kids. She didn’t want to take the help but was very thankful. I messaged a number of local friends who I know to be charitable and asked them if they would like to help. I got lots of “tell her to get a job.” Even without looking I knew those people were all Trump fans. A few were even practicing Christians. Others are helping and the family will have a nice holiday, but what happened with just saying “no, I can’t right now.”

Sounds like those few "Christians" need a lot more practice!

It's sad how mean people can be to each other. Kudos to you and others for stepping up and helping - even if just a little.

Tradd, what you are doing is wonderful. But so many people right now (and maybe for always, but I didn't notice??) are in grievance mode. They see anything anyone else gets as taking from them, it seems. From your description, the family you're helping is not taking advantage of anyone. I hope the husband is able to get disability if eligible. We had to resort to a lawyer for DH to get his, SS's first response is almost always NO.

*disclaimer: I do not claim to be Christian, but I have read/studied the Bible. I don't see how a "practicing" Christian could automatically refuse to assist those in need, if they have the means to help. It seems to me that those persons are CINOs. Clearly they need more practice in being followers of Christ.

Wow. Interesting that the people who said "tell her to get a job" assumed she didn't already have 1.5 jobs, plus carrying for a husband and children single-handedly. What those people, and many others, don't understand is that it is darn near impossible to support a family on one income. (haha, coincidentally, I have Meet the Press on in the background and Bernie is echosing exact same thing I just said).

In my experience, I've learned that most people don't know what it is like to live on the edge, especially with a family. It is not easy, and without "angels" like you, Tradd, day-to-day life is an incredible struggle. Those "get a job" people need to have a Trading Places experience.

And you're right, a simple, "I can't right now" would do.

The Christians who did the “get a job” thing are all evangelicals. People from MY church are helping, Walmart/Target gift cards. I told them even $20 would be a help.

Seems the evangelicals like to donate to foreign missions and nothing local.

Forgot to add, women’s elderly mother lives with them. She has her own income social security. Pays part of rent, etc. Because of her living with the family, they can’t get heating assistance OR snap (food stamps). I just didn’t buy groceries because there are a lot of food allergies in the family. They know their needs best, which is why I sent the $100 for groceries.

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Originally Posted by early morning

Tradd, what you are doing is wonderful. But so many people right now (and maybe for always, but I didn't notice??) are in grievance mode. They see anything anyone else gets as taking from them, it seems. From your description, the family you're helping is not taking advantage of anyone. I hope the husband is able to get disability if eligible. We had to resort to a lawyer for DH to get his, SS's first response is almost always NO.

*disclaimer: I do not claim to be Christian, but I have read/studied the Bible. I don't see how a "practicing" Christian could automatically refuse to assist those in need, if they have the means to help. It seems to me that those persons are CINOs. Clearly they need more practice in being followers of Christ.

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I am not a practicing Christian (understatement!) but I think it is perfectly reasonable to NOT give to every request that comes my way.

I have defined areas of charitable giving. Not everyone with their hands out gets my money.

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Originally Posted by iris lilies

I am not a practicing Christian (understatement!) but I think it is perfectly reasonable to NOT give to every request that comes my way.

I have defined areas of charitable giving. Not everyone with their hands out gets my money.

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IL, “I can’t right now” is a perfectly acceptable answer. The far righters I see online are very much into “bootstraps” aka deal with it on your own. Not only are they against welfare, some are even against private charity. They don’t care about things like illness, etc.

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Originally Posted by Tradd

IL, “I can’t right now” is a perfectly acceptable answer. The far righters I see online are very much into “bootstraps” aka deal with it on your own. Not only are they against welfare, some are even against private charity. They don’t care about things like illness, etc.

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Literally “I can’t right now” would not be accurate for me. Sometimes I am able to truthfully say to panhandlers “ I don’t have any money” because I usually do not carry cash.

I would never tell people in financial trouble to get a job even tho I might think it.:) In this case a job is not the issue anyway.

But we all run into cases of financial need so taking care of our immediate circle of influence is important.

I think it is great that you are helping out someone with whom you have a personal relationship, but if I were your friend, I probably wouldn’t contribute because this lady is not in my circle and also doesn’t fit my defined program of charitable giving, the latter of which doesn’t include much in the way of helping humans.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Tradd

IL, “I can’t right now” is a perfectly acceptable answer. The far righters I see online are very much into “bootstraps” aka deal with it on your own. Not only are they against welfare, some are even against private charity. They don’t care about things like illness, etc.

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The whole New Testament is about helping people in need--people who don't fit into society's standards--the tax collector, the prostitute, the sick and disabled. I'm not even a practicing Christian anymore, but at least I understand that.