I just remembered my NY resolution from last year: take more bathroom breaks. I tend to wait and wait until I can't wait no more. That makes me antsy. And it is so stupid. Speaking of which, time for a break!
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I just remembered my NY resolution from last year: take more bathroom breaks. I tend to wait and wait until I can't wait no more. That makes me antsy. And it is so stupid. Speaking of which, time for a break!
I think this year's resolution will be "keep up the good work." With luck, I'll make some solid progress toward a move. I'm completely debt free now, so there will be money for repairs (I almost wrote "rehab," which paints an entirely differenct scenario...rrrrr
OK, I've got some solid goals for 2016:
Decrease restaurant spending by 25%
Add two more rungs to our CD ladder (my plan was to add two rungs per year for 5 years starting in 2015, and I did the first two in 2015 as planned)
Hire someone to replace gazebo roof and do some necessary carpentry items on the house, then paint & stain it (this was supposed to happen in 2015 and did not)
Retain a certain targeted amount of $$ in general savings account after CDs and home repairs
I had a dream that instead of whatever narrow resolution people are inclined to make this year (yea you want change and if you are unhappy need it, but come now has it ever actually worked to resolve for it?), instead everyone made a resolution to be a better citizen of the planet. Instead of trying harder they tried softer.
Instead of resolving to look like a movie actress who has absolutely no cellulite, or whatever garbage Madison Ave is pushing this year, they resolved to listen daily to a hypnosis tape that says: "you make the extra effort to live in harmony with the earth, because it's worth it even when it's less convenient, it makes you feel proud of yourself. you don't want material things, you want to be a good person and live your values ........... "
Wait can you recommend the hypnosis tape? Well, you see, I'm not sure it actually exists, I saw it in my dreams ....
I really, really need to remember a resolution I made a few months ago to please stop focusing on (and complaining about) my various aches and pains. It's really imperative I stop because I inwardly am starting to cringe hearing myself blather on...it's a hard one, because they are legitimate concerns. But I have to wonder if I am perpetuating it and making it worse by being so aware of my uncomfortableness...
I'm a firm believer that you have to have an outlet, just pretending everything is normal and putting on a false happy face day in and day out, I don't think that's healthy. Is there someone or someones who would be willing to listen to you, if you say, "look, I'm struggling, some days really suck and I just need to tell someone. You don't need to do anything, I just need to be able to say it,"? And then you say next time, "Gawd, was today ever hard, I'm glad it's over." You are not overburdening a few people, IMHO, if they understand you just need to get it out, real friends want to help and this is something concrete they can do for you. Or see a therapist, they may have relaxation ideas and other tips to help you focus on wellness. Or research some ways that can take your mind off pain. But to hold it in most of the time, to say nothing, I just don't think that reduces symptoms. I'm not saying talk to everyone you know about it, just ask a few friends or family if you can touch base with them on a bad day. Maybe journaling would help?Quote:
Originally Posted by SiouzQ.
In my own situation, I know I talk about it too much but my memory is so bad I have no clue I'm repeating myself and feel horrible when told I am doing so. So I tried reaching out to some friends who were always asking to help, now I just text with whatever briefly happened that day and they text back a hug. They do not get how reading one sentence and sending back a hug can possibly help, but it does immensely, way more than dropping off a casserole. My dad, now being the person I see most in my life (this was not in the life plan), was chosen to be my primary listener, partly because when I asked him if I could just bitch to him on a bad day, he said, "what? I wasn't listening?" Then he said he didn't get it but whatever so I knew he'd be perfect because stuff just rolls off him, he's either not really listening or he is the least stressed out person on the planet, because if he listened to me all the time, he would worry and I don't think he is overly worrying or that I am placing undo stress on him. He can't fix anything, I'm not asking him to, but he will sit through a few sentences of misery, ask if I'm done and say he's sorry to hear that, now un-mute my tv show. IDK why, but this practice makes me feel better.
I think it's great to try not to dwell on it too much but I think you need some sort of strategy so you're not just pushing the negative thoughts away because they feel like too much. Just my opinion.
I am four days into my resolution to meditate 20 minutes a day every single day. So far I have done so. But I ain't going to lie -- this is really, really challenging.
You'd think it would be easier -- just two 10 minute sessions any time during the day or night. Or even just one 20 minute session.
I am horrible at meditation. We did it a lot in hospice, the chaplain would lead us, we'd do the whole body relaxation exercise, she would pick one word, like peace, to repeat as you exhaled and a different one for when you inhaled. I could manage a few minutes, then my mind would wander to things like, "I've worked here 11 yrs and the carpet has never been shampooed and I am lying with my head on this filthy floor." And once I fell asleep. I did make a sincere effort but I could never get past more than, at most, 10 minutes. Maybe if I had done it daily or a few times a week at home. Good luck! It sounds easy but I don't think it is for everybody
I am good at guided mediation where someone speaks softly with imagery for most of it and then silence.
Thanks, I am not good at it either. I am not even sure what good at meditation would really mean though. ;)Quote:
Originally Posted by freshstart
My mind wanders all over. I just catch myself, label my thoughts as "thinking," and then I go back to focusing/anchoring on my breathing. I also do my best to not judge myself when my mind wanders. I just say: "thinking." Then focus on breathing.
I often find my mind wondering to certain subjects or topics:
-How can I put this? "My girlfriend."
-Any sound I hear in the distance
-Work stuff
-Chores
-Itching sensations
-Physical discomfort
But I will tell you, I often experience anxiety and distress.
From what I understand, you don't need to say that you "are horrible" at meditating because you have thoughts wandering in and out. Everyone does! The key is to accept the thoughts like flotsam and jetsam floating down a stream in front of you, and just observe the thoughts and let them drift away. Don't think of yourself as a meditation flunky just because you have wandering thoughts! We all do!Quote:
Originally Posted by freshstart
My trick is to focus on an image, rather than a word or mantra. I find I'm more successful by peering into an empty vessel inside me. I imagine all kinds of sooty particles clouding up my glass vessel and I try to meditate them away so that the light that's running through me into the vessel can emanate outwards.