Quantify this statement.Quote:
Originally Posted by Chicken lady
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Quantify this statement.Quote:
Originally Posted by Chicken lady
No matter what having more kids means more complications. Sure, you can tell them all: "Only one sport!" But if you have one kid in 3 sports I bet you will be less busy than with 3 kids in one sport each.Quote:
Originally Posted by Teacher Terry
I wasn't bashing. Was someone here bashing?Quote:
Originally Posted by Teacher Terry
I am not CL but I remember someone on a website making a profound statement about bringing children into the world, and it is that suddenly you know what is important beyond all else. Nurturing and caring for one's children is The Goal. All of the other stuff is not important.Quote:
Originally Posted by Ultralight
That makes sense to me even if the ongoing daily complexities of life with small beings in the house seems overwhelming. One main reason I did not have children is the complexity. I like things simple, that is, unless I choose a short term goal that makes my life (temporarily) complex.
Well, for example, I had three kids in one sport - swimming. So I had many many days when I knew my whole day would be spent sitting in bleachers. I would tell the kids to let me know when their event was coming up, and then I had the rest of the day to read or knit. I didn't get involved in a bunch of things that made demands outside of their time slots or have to navigate difficult (for me) social situations because "oh, I can't, we have swimming."
also, many hands make light work. Canning applesauce for example was a fun, all day family activity. So was cutting and stacking wood. It was easier to keep the fire going. One person can cook dinner for five almost as quickly as one person can cook dinner for two, and the person wasn't always me. When they could drive, they did some of the errands.
Btw, if you have three kids in one sport each, you will go insane. You clearly do not understand the scheduling of kids sports these days. With one kid in three sports, at least no one thinks you should be in three places at once - you just go where the kid goes.
I am not convinced at all. More kids = more complex life.Quote:
Originally Posted by Chicken lady
I have one dog. When I first started living with my sister and BIL back in 2013 they had two dogs. When they would go on vacation I would have to care for all three dogs. Believe it. My life was made more hectic by dealing with all three. Whereas one dog is much, much more manageable.
Each kid made my life less simple. That's true. Then each grew up. Now I'm back to simple.
I kept it as simple as possible with kids at home. I was way more simple than most families with kids. But the kids deserve their own lives. One chose to store everything important to him in his bedroom, including spare tires for his car. I just shut the door - it was his space. 😄
Kids are not dogs. Harlan will never switch over the laundry and cook dinner because your bike broke down. You will have to walk your bike home and still do your laundry and make dinner. The dogs will not take care of each other either.
it would complicate my life more to tell my mother in law "sorry I won't see you on Saturday. I want to go somewhere else and read a book."
also, when I had kids at home, other moms provided a mutual support system - which is technically more complex than just solving all your own problems, but not harder.
Dogs are not kids! Very true. Lemme go ahead and win this argument real fast...Quote:
Originally Posted by Chicken lady
Harlan costs a lot less than a kid. His medical bills are lower from birth to cremation. He won't harass me for an iPhone, a computer, college tuition, etc.
He will probably only live to be 14, at most. He does not require daycare or a babysitter except for rare occasions. Harlan won't try drugs or alcohol and have to get sent to rehab. Harlan does not need taken to school or any sports or piano lessons.
A dog is a lot less complicated than a kid in every way I can think of. But as my previous story illustrates -- more dogs means more complications. And since kids are more complicated than dogs, more kids means even more complications.
Why not just own up to it?
Just because more kids means more complications does not mean you are a bad person for having them. It just means you'd rather not have a simpler life and/or smaller ecological footprint.
I could eat things like bananas, raw carrots, bowls of cereal with milk, and so forth. If I did, I would have a simpler life. But I like complex flavors with layers and herbs and spice. So I am learning to cook and had to buy kitchen utensils and equipment. My life is more complicated because of this, but I also like the food more than bowls of cereal.
I just own this.
Sure, some other minimalist might say: "That is so complicated!"
And I say: "Yeah, it is. But I like it more than eating the same boring stuff all the time."
So why not say? "Yeah, having a bunch of kids is more complicated. But I am not lonely, I have people to love and probably love me, and I was able to create meaning in my life in an easier way than striving for something far-fetched and much harder."
Or whatever you'd say in your words with your points.
Kids are complicated, but in a way that is more satisfying and remarkable than anything else I can imagine. Part of me feels sorry for people who have never experienced the joy and frustration of children and grandchildren, they make life so much.... more. I might never have known that there was something more important in life than me, everyone should have the opportunity to learn that.Quote:
Originally Posted by Ultralight
This is an answer that I can accept.Quote:
Originally Posted by Alan
But I still want to remain child-free.