I was thinking more like King Lear.Quote:
Originally Posted by LDAHL
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I was thinking more like King Lear.Quote:
Originally Posted by LDAHL
I think you're right. I would have preferred Rubio, but would gratefully take Cruz over Trump or Clinton.Quote:
Originally Posted by Williamsmith
Don't worry yourself too much about their games of thrones.Quote:
Originally Posted by Williamsmith
My plan is to just keep muddling through life. You and most people will do the same.
"The people" in this case, represent about 35-45% of the primary voters, not a popular mandate. Think of them as the "some of the people all of the time" contingent. I'm generally pretty flexible on ideology, but Trump is beyond the pall. If the party needs to alienate the Trumpites to preserve it's core values, that's a price I'm willing to pay.Quote:
Originally Posted by UltraliteAngler
Lincoln entered the 1860 convention with a minority of delegates, and was nominated on the third vote. I'll take comfort in that precedent.
Strange times, these...Quote:
Originally Posted by LDAHL
With all due respect UA, I have always and will always have a greater expectation for my life than the word, "muddle" would imply.Quote:
Originally Posted by UltraliteAngler
I admire that about you. I think you have a mental and emotional resilience that I just don't have.Quote:
Originally Posted by Williamsmith
Whether I muddle through life sometimes doesn't even seem the important thing. What difference does it really make in the scheme of things. I lack the narcissism of a Trump I guess. My anger at politics sometimes it about whatever economic or political issues I may face muddling through life (but even then often not directly so but rather indirectly) but sometimes has very little to do with whether I muddle through life better or worse. I was angry for W for instance for all the people he insured wouldn't muddle through life (all the Iraqis killed in the war). I loath Trump for all the Muslim and other Americans whose lives he will make more difficult. But I will muddle through life. Sometimes all I can wonder to that is: who cares? But I'm not actively suicidal or anything needless to say, I do preserve my life from day to day.
Let me paraphrase K-Von:Quote:
Originally Posted by ApatheticNoMore
Most of us on Earth are unhappy, unfulfilled, and worn down. But we are also endowed with an iron will to live. This is a common configuration.
"The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation" --ThoreauQuote:
Originally Posted by UltraliteAngler
I agree with Williamsmith, though. I will not accept muddling and/or desperation in my life. Life is way too precious for me to fall into that trap. We can each choose a different path.
Tell me about this different path.Quote:
Originally Posted by catherine
Change the way you look at things.Quote:
Originally Posted by UltraliteAngler
How is that different than painting one's jail cell?Quote:
Originally Posted by catherine
I am not snarking here. I am sincerely asking. I am always very intrigued by resilient people and how they think.
Painting one's jail cell is more useful, at least it accomplishes something in the outside world - one now has a newer looking jail cell.
But this whole idea that people can entirely change the way of looking at things, some is probably inborn temperament (I don't know to what extent that affects pessimism/optimism certainly introversion/extroversion etc.), some are early life experiences (there are enough studies on that, people are usually carrying around their childhood 40 years later - it's depressing but ...). catherine is a former cheerleader, we were probably with the kids noone but the outcasts wanted if we had anyone to hang out with at all and weren't all alone, or I was. That's not supposed to matter, we are supposed to start adult life tableau rasa, as if we never even had a childhood or an adolescence that effected us beyond what we aspired to then, according to what this culture believes. But come now, we don't have to dwell on it, but is that true we are tableau rasa as adults or were most of our expectations of life and how we deal with it set long ago? I only try to bring what is new and fresh and not entirely jaded to love usually and friendship ocassionally, and oh is that a constant struggle even (and not because bf is such an optimists of course, he isn't and doesn't demand it).
haha, you have a good memory, ANM. It's true that I think I was born with a temperament conducive to being optimistic and happy, but I did not have a Brady Bunch childhood as I've related many times. I was the kid in grammar school who was made fun of because my clothes were unironed and dirty. I couldn't have many friends because I couldn't invite them home not knowing if the house would be in emotional and physical chaos when I got there.Quote:
Originally Posted by ApatheticNoMore
My "friends" were the saints in the book that my devout grandmother gave me, as well as my imagination.
I am inspired by people like Anne Frank and Victor Frankl, Stephen Hawking and Helen Keller. I work at learning how they manage to tackle life despite unbelievable obstacles. They show me that if they can do it, I can do it. One of my go-to books is James Allen's As A Man Thinketh, and it's helped me a lot in the choices I've made in life. Every day I go to "school" to teach myself how to open myself to awareness and joy. It's a long, slow process, and I'm far from there, but I'm grateful for those moments, and for the possibility of those moments.
"It's difficult in times like these: ideals, dreams and cherished hopes rise within us, only to be crushed by grim reality. It's a wonder I haven't abandoned all my ideals, they seem so absurd and impractical. Yet I cling to them because I still believe, in spite of everything, that people are truly good at heart.
"It's utterly impossible for me to build my life on a foundation of chaos, suffering, and death. I see the world being slowly transformed into a wilderness. I hear the approaching thunder that, one day, will destroy us too, and I feel the suffering of millions. And yet, when I look up at the sky, I somehow feel that everything will change for the better, that this cruelty too shall end, that peace and tranquility will return once more. In the meantime, I must hold on to my ideals. Perhaps the day will come when I'll be able to realize them!" --Anne Frank
Life is not black and white. It is more than 50 complex shades of grey, and I think we will be happy in proportion to our ability to accept the fog.
I was one of the kids who skipped the pep rallies in high school.
However did you avoid them? I just spent the hour resenting having to participate. I would have welcomed another hour of study hall. Total, stupid waste of time. Do they still force this type of thing on students?Quote:
Originally Posted by UltraliteAngler
Besides Anne Frank and Victor Frankl I also enjoyed reading "Night" and "All but my Life." All are about the Holocaust and most people lost everything & everyone. MY BF lost her wonderful 19yo daughter and yet she goes on and finds joy in life. Yes there is much sadness too. I choose to be happy and enjoy life. It is really just a choice. We can't control what happens to us but we certainly control our reactions and feelings. If you have never looked at Cognitive Behavioral Therapy you might want to explore this. WE have but one life and I for one intend to enjoy it and not waste it.
I can't speak for UA but my high school had an open campus. We just left the building, got in my car, and went to McDonalds, just like we did for every class we skipped. There were days when I was at McDonalds two or three times.Quote:
Originally Posted by JaneV2.0
I went to a detention-like room where I was berated by an annoying twit of a "teacher."Quote:
Originally Posted by JaneV2.0
I'd ignored him and read books. A few other misfits were in there with me drawing pictures, trying to stay awake, occasionally sparring in debate with the annoying teacher.
I am deficient in whatever brain chemical causes groupthink. So pep rallies, to me, just looked like temporary mass psychosis.
CBT therapy is like so many things. It takes time and effort -- both in short supply when you work for a living. And if you work, have kids, and perhaps other obligations -- forget it. You might as well drink more wine at night and watch more TV.Quote:
Originally Posted by Teacher Terry
I have been seeing a CBT therapist for like 3 years now. She gives me all these assignments but I either don't do them at all or I barely scratch the surface. Why? Because if I did the CBT stuff I would not have time to do much else. No grit to do it left at the end of the day.
I read Kurt Vonnegut. It helps to feel less alone.
Wow. At my school you'd get punished for that. They'd send you to Room 101. hahaQuote:
Originally Posted by jp1
For detention or Saturday school. :(
My high school had a closed campus, you couldn't leave, ever, without an adult signing you in or out.Quote:
Originally Posted by jp1
On the other hand, the school owned all the land to the horizon in all directions, and then some, and you were always welcome to saddle up a horse and work the range. You could even sign out a rifle. As the scholarship kid from California who was a longboard surfer and got around the civilized part of the campus on a skateboard, I was initially a bit out of my element.
UL: those are all excuses for doing nothing to help yourself. I had 3 boys, went to college more then f.t. (got a BA in 3 years), and yes did therapy instead of drinking wine, in addition to driving the kids to all their activities, keeping the house clean, etc. My hubby was working 7 days a week to pay cash for my college so everything on the home front fell to me. They were busy years-I didn't watch TV. Then I got a master's and worked p.t. Then I went on to get 2 more grad degrees. YOu are single with no kids so have plenty of time. If it was important to you to change you would. WE only change when the pain of changing is less then the pain of staying the same.
Not everyone is a superstar. hahaQuote:
Originally Posted by Teacher Terry
But I agree, I need to make some changes. Which is why:
-I have dramatically changed the way I eat
-I signed up to take classes at the university I work at so I might be able to change careers
-I am applying for a few jobs a week
-I meditate daily
But I think it is important to remember that not everyone is geared or wired the same.
Great changes, UA. And you are right. People aren't the same. That's why I love Stephen Covey's idea of the Circle of Influence and I love the Serenity Prayer. Life is about changing what you can and accepting the rest.Quote:
Originally Posted by UltraliteAngler
Thanks.Quote:
Originally Posted by catherine
I agree. I change what I can and accept the rest -- just not cheerfully! hahaQuote:
Originally Posted by catherine
Sounds like you are making good progress. If you don't want to be happy then don't worry about it. You will have lots of company I am sure. I choose to surround myself with positive people and not fake positive but real people. If I find someone consistently negative I move on. LIfe is too short.
I am not so concerned with happiness but more with purpose and meaning.Quote:
Originally Posted by Teacher Terry
What about being "content?"Quote:
Originally Posted by UltraliteAngler
Is that word more palatable for you than "happy?" Would you like to be content and work toward that?
I've had lots of therapy, at this point I'd rather have the money by far I think (no, no and heck no, I don't' want to scrimp and save and drive myself nutty about finances just to afford $160 or $120 a week sessions or something. Just no. I haven't always paid that much of course, as I've had old therapists that charge much less but that pretty much is the going rate). It hasn't helped all that much and has done maybe as much damage as good. Your mileage may vary.
Happy is good, content is fine too.Quote:
Originally Posted by iris lilies
You can have purpose and meaning in life and still be happy.
Trifecta!Quote:
Originally Posted by Teacher Terry
What is "being happy"? Does it even repay thought? One mostly just is, moment by moment, ups and downs. Though there may be particular things one hates (one's job of course cough cough - obviously) and more diffuse things sometimes, and one may have some overarching darkness. But if one is not clinically depressed at the moment or something (obviously deeply unhappy), how would one even know if one was "happy"? Moods come and go, right? One might hate one's job though :~)
If you are generally happy you know it. If you don't know what it is then I don't know what to say.
I don't know what it is as a general thing no. I don't know that it IS a general thing. I know there are moments when one is doing something enjoyable that may feel alright, there are moments when one is doing something purposeful that feel very good.
I'm mostly content enough, content but not ecstatic, and not without some occasional sadness too - there is plenty to get sad about sometimes, when I don't have to go to work. If I have to go to work (workdays) I am fairly miserable about it and hate the world. I don't really think doing absolutely nothing would be ideal for me though for all that, just I hate work.
I think it mostly doesn't repay thought, because I can think of little that is likely to make one more unhappy than spending time thinking about happiness, it's elusive, it comes and goes, we are not creatures that are designed to be constantly content but almost designed for a kind of discontented hunger and craving some say.
Carson to suspend his campaign. Not attending Fox debate and No Path Forward. Too little too late? Or the start of a domino effect designed to block Trump clinching a nomination? A Trump Task Force?
Very disappointing.Quote:
Originally Posted by Williamsmith
Seems a bit late. If you look at the results from yesterday, if The Machine Candidates had closed ranks earlier, Trump would have likely not done well at all. Cruz and Rubio are splitting too much of the vote out.Quote:
Originally Posted by Williamsmith
Love it.