Dreading Christmas and Thanksgiving

You are never obligated to give gifts to anyone at any time. "Fair" does not enter into it at all. Otherwise, what you are transferring is a payment (for something), a demand, an expectation, etc. but not a gift. I am sure the kids would not even miss one unless the adults told them about it and then the problem is with the adults. Kids wont remember in the mass of presents they have to open.

Our families do not celebrate together since we all live a thousand or more miles away. None of mine communicate which is fine and we call mom since this is her first year alone. Not all families have the "perfect" Christmas picture in their albums.

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I keep feeling like I'm doing something "wrong" by not going to my sister's. But to recap, I don't feel like I have anything in common with them, I just saw them at Thanksgiving, I don't feel like seeing anyone or speaking to anyone. I can't remember being this angry/depressed in ages.

Once again, I tried to "make peace with the season." I tried keeping a holiday journal of things I actually LIKE about the holidays. believe it or not, there are a few things...it just didn't work. My personal issues keep getting in the way.

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It is JUST A DAY. Christmas is. It may have religious significance, but that's not where the issues lie here. It's all about family expectations and so on - and for that IT IS JUST A DAY!!! Do something you enjoy.

Thank you. Better luck next year, as they say, I suppose. I will definitely have a PLAN for next year--even if it involves renting a cabin in the boonies.

BTW, My sister did get in touch.

On my Facebook wall, she wrote "Well??"

Nice. Real nice.

And my Pay Pal account got hacked today. I don't know if I ever mentioned at the start of this thread that every year for about the past 20 years, something really rotten has happened to me/us at Xmastime. Seriously, it's like voodoo or something! My dog died one year, my uncle died one year, we were in a car accident one year--all kinds of fun stuff. And now my Pay Pal account is hacked. (shrugs and rolls eyeballs)

Update: What my sister meant was, "well, did you feel better staying home or not?"

I have to be honest: I don't think it made anything better. Maybe worse. As I said above, I need a PLAN.