Lots of people find lots of useful help from talk therapy. I guess one's mileage will vary on this topic.
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Lots of people find lots of useful help from talk therapy. I guess one's mileage will vary on this topic.
I agree Tybee that many people find talk therapy helpful. The right medication can be life changing for some people. It can be the difference between leading a normal life and not being able to function. Unfortunately psychiatrists mainly only see patients for 15 minutes and prescribe medications. They typically don’t do therapy. New psychiatrist doctors were a problem because they frequently would change a patient’s medication and it could destabilize them. Being right out of school they can be over confident of their skills.
I agree that therapy often seems more effective at identifying the problem and its roots than coming up with an effective strategy for making things better going forward. I know a couple of people who have had extensive therapy, and it doesn't seem to have helped them improve their lives much, although it's difficult to say that they might not have been worse off without it.Quote:
Originally Posted by Portuguese John Here
Yes, psychiatrists don't really deal in talk therapy, IMHO. They prescribe, and that's about it They learn enough about you to know what to prescribe.Quote:
Originally Posted by Teacher Terry
It's the counselors, MSWs, psychologists that try to guide you down the road of self-awareness. Once they help you reveal something, they can guide you to solutions, but it's still your responsibility to do the work. They are not failures if you don't "get better." That's like saying a driver's ed teacher is a failure if you don't follow the speed limit once you have your license..
I have found talk therapy helpful in centering myself in certain truths that were hard to see. That alone is a helpful first step.
Talk therapy with a Licensed Clinical Social worker changed my life. I was floundering and depressed. She would make it all so simple, one tiny step at a time and it resulted in changes in how I viewed things. But, when I thanked her she said, "You did it. You did the work, I just guided you." I went in the late 80, late 90s and did a quick one visit check in 2 or 3 years ago. I had learned so much, was able to navigate the death of my parents, retirement, other things that once would have thrown me for a loop. I am ever grateful to have found her when I did.
Have a customer who brings in food items from India. Lots of stuff is held by FDA for additional information. The importing companies who are customers have turned into dumb clucks. They bellyache and whine about their stuff being held by FDA, yet they totally ignore multiple emails a week asking for required info.
I’ve been trying to get info from customer on labeling since 8/19. Finally got it today. Sent it to FDA and what do you know? Shipment is released 5 minutes later. I advise customer and send proof of FDA crickets. No response acknowledging email. They’re shooting themselves in the foot repeatedly in situations like this.
That's great you had success with talk therapy. I echo your sentiment. It took me some trial and error to find a good therapist that was also a good match for me.Quote:
Originally Posted by nswef
Therapy seems kind of analogous to computing: good therapy is like incremental software upgrades that are more computationally efficient and purposeful, so that the hardware doesn't have to work as hard and risk overheating and burning up. It can't fix everything, it sure can make a difference with the right therapist.
Eric, The right fit is vital. I was lucky to have a good fit right away.
I fear I may have come across as anti-therapy, which I am not. I just happen to have a couple of people who are near and dear to me that don't seem to be getting much benefit from it.
Oh I think good effective therapy is a boon for everyone! It’s just it’s so hard to find that great of a therapist, and good medication.Quote:
Originally Posted by rosarugosa
Our kitchen cabinets in Herman were provided by Diamond company through Lowe’s. Nice cabinets, I’m happy with them,, everything went smoothly except for one thing and that is apparently a special order to get cabinet doors with no fronts so that we can put in glass.
The ordering of these things was so convoluted that our Lowe’s representative said “I’ll just order them for you later, and you don’t have to pay for them.”
That was February. By June of our cabinets came and DH installed them. All but these four cabinet doors. Since then we’ve had five incorrect shipments. As of today we have three of the doors, we just need one more.
Yesterday we drove 30 miles to the Lowe’s store because we had an appointment with the kitchen cabinet designer who has already sold us two incorrect shipments. We brought with us one of the cabinet doors that is correct so that we could show him exactly what we want.
After driving 30 miles there, we found that he was not at work that day, he had called in sick. When we asked to speak to the store manager that guy didn’t have any good suggestions Tell us to come back and talk to the kitchen designer.
At some point I’ll probably contact Diamond directly. See, I haven’t wanted to complain too much up to this point because we were not in a huge hurry for these cabinet doors, they are free to us, we like the kitchen cabinets and Diamond did a really decent job in meeting the timeline they said they would meet. But FIVE incorrect shipments?
That is really disappointing, IL!!! Hopefully, you can get it resolved. I feel your pain.
We had painting done recently. I told the guy do it exactly like it was. We had wood in one place that I told him to paint. Of course, he did not do what I asked. I should not have paid him. Tomorrow we are getting 4 windows installed. I pray it goes well. It was horrible to even try to get someone to come out for an estimate. This company came when they said they would, the windows are here when they said they would be... so hopefully they will be properly installed.... fingers crossed.
I cannot EVEN imagine doing all the renovating you have been doing. It would drive me nuts. And, to have to pick and choose all that.. YIKES!! Good that you know what you want!!!
We had the contractor created by the angels. Every person we talk to who knows anything about his work says he is the best. He’s around 65 years old and I am hoping he hangs in there a few more years to help other people in Hermann because getting someone to renovate an old house is really difficult. Granted, they made some mistakes but nothing I can’t live with. The things in this renovation I was most disappointed about were sub contractors DH and I handled.Quote:
Originally Posted by frugal-one
Attachment 4856
The Wayfair company keeps showing me the stupidest products on Facebook. I long for a day when targeted digital marketing is competent and shows me actual products I want.
this is what they put across my Facebook newsfeed today, a child’s play washer/dryer set for $376. Can’t you get a new washer plus half a dryer for that amount, I mean one that actually has working parts that adult humans use to wash clothes? Where in the world did they get the idea that I want to see this thing?
I find Wayfair annoying because they expect you to register to even see their products. I deep-six their ads whenever I can.Quote:
Originally Posted by iris lilies
Renovating two properties as I have, I use Wayfair often. Their search software is superior to others I’ve used, getting down to a fairly granular detail. So yes, .i did register because I maintain product lists there.Quote:
Originally Posted by JaneV2.0
But too many vendors want you to register in order to browse. I say Nope to that much of the time.
One of my favorite Halloween wreaths snapped into pieces and I only have my own stupidity to blame. Went to take the box off my armoire so I could dust before decorating and the wreath hit the ceiling fan that was on. Went flying to the ground and snapped. I am so mad at myself. It was made of styrofoam which I didn't realize so I tried putting toothpicks in each piece to hopefully make them stick back together but it didn't work.
Then I spent about an hour trying to find a replacement that I liked but didn't cost $60-$80 dollars. I think the one I broke was $20 from Target and it lasted years. Finally ordered one from Kohl's and thanks to a sale and Kohl's cash, it ended up being a reasonable price. Only bad part is I am decorating today and the wreath won't show up until sometime next week. I was really hoping to find one on Amazon that would be delivered tomorrow but no such luck.
So diving for rebreather training this weekend and it was very tough.
Yesterday was very challenging. Parts of the first dive were just horrid. Couple divers my instructor knows tagged along with permission on first dive. One of them, thinking he was Mr Funny Guy after my very bad dive, offered to buy my rebreather since he didn’t want to wait months himself for one. I told him to eff off to his face multiple times. He told me later he was joking and I just told him to eff off.
Sorry your not-so-great day was made even worse by this character, Tradd. As for the bad dive, I would chalk it up to "everyone has a bad day", move on and keep practicing. I have no doubts this is another aspect of diving that you will quickly master!!
You will get there. Two steps forward, one back, side to side, two forward…it is a difficult skill but you will get there.Quote:
Originally Posted by Tradd
Thanks! I was exhausted. I had 4.5 hours of underwater time this weekend. I never dive that much. Instructor said she could clearly see I was lagging yesterday. So this coming weekend will be one dive Sat am for me with classmate and then we’ll do one Sunday morning just her and I, to hopefully finish me off. She often does one on one for part of class for many students due to scheduling.
Geez--I hope it doesn't "finish you off!" :D
Haha. Good one! :DQuote:
Originally Posted by JaneV2.0
I had a frank talk with DH today, and it was made clear to me that he believes I love my job and have no problem working forever. This was somewhat surprising but no more so than when my eldest son told me at one point "I can't see you ever retiring" and my third son said essentially the same thing. I thought I was pretty clear on the fact that I am working because I have to at this point in time. I'm grateful that I have a job that pays well and I can do from my home but that doesn't mean I'm enamored of it. It's not fulfilling beyond the ability to pay my bills. I'm not saving lives or educating children. I'm a drug dealer. I do it for the money. I have said that repeatedly, so I don't know why this perception persists.
But it cracked me up when DH said, "Well, but what would you do if you retired??" Really?? Maybe the same things he does. Or the things all my college friends do now that they are retired. Maybe do all the things I wish I had more time for. Reading, gardening, working for environmental causes, hanging out with my grandkids, babysitting more often, just sitting period.
I'm just venting over the fact that I have somehow conveyed the idea that my whole raison d'être is to spend my days interviewing doctors and writing reports that pharmaceutical companies can use to sell more drugs.
Just a vent.
You know I have a long memory Catherine and I actually remember (I don’t think I’m making this up in my head ) when you couldn’t see into the future to where you are now, that you would like to quit work. I don’t remember the exact conversation I just remember you wondering aloud why you would need so much money because you loved your job and good not want to quit it.
yeah. Retirement is great. I can’t relate to people who retire and then go back to work after a couple of years because they’re “bored. “
Yeah--I don't bore myself easily. Sucks to be them. :DQuote:
Originally Posted by iris lilies
Withdrawing from my coffee habit. It sucks. My head is exploding and my brain is fuggy. I'm only doing it under duress, meaning my gut cannot handle the stuff. It's been giving me horrible indigestion and the pain of that is greater than the pain of giving up my caffeine in the morning. Black tea isn't cutting it today though. Hopefully tomorrow will be better.
I really wanted Arby's for dinner last night but that means a 30 minute drive to and a 30 minute drive back home which I wasn't up for but went anyway. Drive there was fine but soon got very very bad.
First, I spilled part of a drink all over my lap. It literally looked like I had peed myself. Then I pull out and the drink carrier goes flying. Thank God all the lids stayed on and even more that I have WeatherTech floor liners. I had to pull into a parking lot to clean up. Mind you, my pants are still soaked from spilling the soda so I was embarrassed to be getting out of the car in public. I dump the floor liner and reposition the drink carrier and finally get home about an hour and half later.
SiouzQ, I hope you are feeling okay and that today goes better. Best of luck with quitting caffeine. I don't think I could do it.
Ugh, Klunick, that really stinks. Hope you at least enjoyed your Arby's once you got settled at home.
I can see myself saying something to that effect, for sure. That's what perplexes me about the misperception about me from the people I love most and who are most bound to me. What have I communicated to them? it makes me almost feel that they don't know "the real me."Quote:
Originally Posted by iris lilies
I remember telling my mother when I was young (and I may have already said this at some point here), "I want to do everything!" To which my mother said with a cautionary tone: "Jack of all trades, master of none..." While I've always admired single-focused folks, I'm just not wired that way. (I just saw a piece on CBS Sunday Morning about a breakthrough bluegrass musician who knew he wanted to be a bluegrass musician when he was about 5, and he's been playing bluegrass every since)
In my diary from 1965 is a drawing of a Tudor house under a weeping willow tree. The indoor blueprint showed a lower floor that was broken up into about 5-6 equal-sized rooms. One had a piano in it, one had a sewing machine in it. One had an easel in it. One had bookshelves and oak paneling and a wing chair. Probably another room had a stage in it, or maybe a chapel-type room--(that was around the time I wanted to be a nun) That was my ideal home. It represents what my ideal life would be, if I weren't working. That's why I was so flummoxed when DH asked me "But if you weren't working, what would you DO??"
I am starting to branch out into that ideal life with more sewing and more painting and certainly more gardening, and my strategy is to expand my leisure time as my financial situation approaches what it needs to be in order to stop working completely.
"I remember telling my mother when I was young (and I may have already said this at some point here), "I want to do everything!" To which my mother said with a cautionary tone: "Jack of all trades, master of none..." While I've always admired single-focused folks, I'm just not wired that way. (I just saw a piece on CBS Sunday Morning about a breakthrough bluegrass musician who knew he wanted to be a bluegrass musician when he was about 5, and he's been playing bluegrass every since)"
I've never been single-minded, either. My SO used to say of me that I easily mastered skills and moved on, which wasn't the case--I just saw the next shiny thing and moved toward it. My estimation is that even if you're transparent and vocal about who you are, your loved ones will see what they want to when they look at you.
How many years is it until retirement?
it’s an interesting question that’s for sure.Quote:
Originally Posted by catherine
I’m hazarding a guess that your DH sees you very responsibly doing work each day on a schedule and being very disciplined at that. To him that might look like “Catherine works every day and fills her day with work and must like doing it because her day is full of work. “ Didn’t you have some sort of argument in the last couple years about you working versus going to New Jersey for holidays? He may see you as a workaholic rather than your own view that you have to work to make the money for the family. I know that your DH is a little vague about the money stream and its necessity.
And speaking of money, lately I’m feeling pretty icky about all the crap I’m buying. I’m like super Cassie Comsumer, shopping shopping shopping. Just because I shop at the thrift stores and troll Facebook Marketplace and ebay for specific used items doesn’t mean that I’m not addicted to shopping. Blech.
I have purchased three pieces of furniture over the past year that I need to paint in the way I envisioned before I buy any more damn furniture.
Yesterday I had a miscommunication with a Facebook marketpla e seller where I thought I bought something and it turns out I didn’t, and I was relieved. It was a great piece at a great price but I didn’t really have a place to put it.
I saw that Sunday Morning bluegrass player - amazing! I keep wondering what I would be REALLY good at if I had stuck to any of the many things I "tried". I mean, I'm glad I tried different things, but I think the only thing I ever mastered was crocheting. Does that count?
How many years is it until retirement?
Got my Social Security statement in the mail last week and finally took at good look at it yesterday. To my surprise, I think I am looking at - max=25 months, min=17 months. I FINALLY feel there is a light at the end of the tunnel!!!!
Edited to add: The last part of this post should probably go in Raves. LOL.
Congrats happystuff!!! timeanddate.com is a cool site to start the countdown and also to see how many days you have been retired. I left it when I retired and it shows I have been retired 4244 days! Time goes so fast!
I remember the exhilaration of meeting with a retirement counselor where I worked and seeing the exact date I could retire and that my frugality throughout the years would allow me to retire earlier than I expected. My boss at the time said he had never seen me so happy.
Catherine: Sometimes people think what they want to think because it serves them well. Your DH no doubt finds it a comfortable thought that you might be happy working your lucrative job until you drop. This is nothing against your DH; it's just human nature. I'm sure it serves me well to think my DH loves to cook perhaps a bit more than he actually does, and DH seems to think I enjoy housework, when the truth is that I enjoy a tidy house and I'm willing to put in the work to make it happen.Quote:
Originally Posted by catherine
I also think that when you do for others in a cheerful, uncomplaining manner, it is easier for them to take your efforts for granted. I observed my mother always giving of her time and energy endlessly and uncomplainingly, and I also noticed that others (myself included) tended to see her time as less valuable than our own because she was so generous and selfless about it. Surely time was somehow more valuable for the rest of us who were always complaining about how busy we were?
Our 50 year old chair - that my husband loves, popped out a spring... So now...find someone who bothers with fixing chairs. I have one or two to call, but I get so frustrated that no one wants to FIX. They want new. I'm incapable of doing it myself. Once I would have tried, but not any more. I'm also looking into sash liners for our old windows. I found a place, but need to call to see if they will do the installation. Again...not in my skill set.
I HATE TO SHOP!!!! I went today to get some new waking shoes. Of course, the only pair that I wanted was out of stock in my size. I came home with nothing. The last 2 pairs are fine to walk in but the tops rip by the toe. Think I will just wear matching socks and forget about it. Shopping to me is such an irritation.
Me too. DH and I went to several stores today in search of his favorite type of pocket tee shirt. Tried ordering from amazon once and the sizing was odd/quality bad so we decided to try retail. Three stores and none had his size in dark colors like he prefers. Came home empty-handed. What a wasted morning...Quote:
Shopping to me is such an irritation.