This is dark and possibly upsetting

CL, I have delayed my response to you, because I don't want to come off like I know all the answers--I don't, and can't presume to know your heart. But I have been and am currently being treated for depression, and have been close to ending my life, too. Thanks to my husband and sister, I got immediate help, and discovered I can withstand and move past the pain I didn't want to deal with anymore. I've had some therapy, but mostly read pertinent books to help my healing along with medication.

I would only like to encourage you...to delay any urge. Stay with your thoughts and feelings for one more day, then the next day, commit to one more day. You don't have to solve every problem. Just focus on getting through the day. Every day.

Write on your good days; list the good things you have done and how you helped someone else. You can't solve the world's problems, but even to help one is a great victory. Having victories to look at might help you on dark days. Perhaps start a gratitude list.

You have no idea how you impact people. None of us do. We can help someone by simply smiling, or doing some random thing like saying hello....like you actually "see" them.

I see you...I can imagine you see so much pain every day and you're taking it on. It's okay ....but find a way to carry on. There are still good things to live for.

Oh KayLR,

I am not, and have never been and cannot imagine being suicidal! Death in general pisses me off. My version of “checking out” is streaming videos with no non-entertainment value and a little too much alcohol - not a lot too much, I’m not a fan of hangovers either.

i just get exhausted and overwhelmed and angry at my lack of effectiveness.

I'm glad to hear that, CL. Still...you seem depressed. I still want to encourage you! Don't discount your effectiveness. You can't know how effective you are for any one person.

A philosophy handed down in my family is Scarlett O'Hara's "I'll think about it tomorrow." Saves me a lot of pointless hand-wringing and rumination.

Just going to throw this out there for anyone who could use it. It comes from the Talmud, a central text in Judaism (though what it states is not tied to any particular religion):

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Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world's grief. Do justly now. Love mercy now. Walk humbly now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.

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Quote:

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Originally Posted by SteveinMN

Just going to throw this out there for anyone who could use it. It comes from the Talmud, a central text in Judaism (though what it states is not tied to any particular religion):

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Excellent!

Very beautiful, Steve, thank you.

Steve, I like that too.

i am sorry people think I am depressed. I have no idea what to do about that. It appears to be like answering the question “yes or no, have you stopped beating your wife?”

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Originally Posted by Chicken lady

Steve, I like that too.

i am sorry people think I am depressed. I have no idea what to do about that. It appears to be like answering the question “yes or no, have you stopped beating your wife?”

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OK, CL... I take you at your word. I'm starting to think you may be more like Cervantes/Don Quixote... at least the words in the soliloquy below are similar to the words you've expressed about life... Even if you hate Broadway musicals (this is from Man of LaMancha) bear with it for just 2 minutes. I get chills every time I see it. "Maddest of all... to see life as it is, and not as it should be."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uaTFsz0h9UA

I am perplexed. You are not a drama queen at all but the initial post was very dark. If you aren’t depressed I definitely don’t want to be your kind of happy.