Discovering a side of me that has stayed ever since

Discovering a side of me that has stayed ever since has been my female side Jackie came out. This happened after I turned 10 and the adoption was final in December of 1988. Mom decided to see me let me discover things about myself after mom adopted me. I always admired her wardrobe and wanted to try on anything feminine. The chance came one day, she left a pair of her pantyhose on her bed and grabbed it. Ran into my room and closed the door. Luckily I was wearing shorts,was in the morning and tried them on. She was outside cleaning her car out in the garage. Looked for me when she came back in and found me in my room with the pantyhose on one leg. Thought I was in trouble at first and realized I was not.Sat on the bed beside me and she said I discovered something about myself seeing I liked wearing the pantyhose. Saw she was right, a female side of me named Jackie wanted out at times. This is when we both found out I am a crossdresser. Said she still loved me no matter what having a part time daughter in her life. Started privately at home getting girl's clothing 2nd hand at 2nd hand stores and estate sales for me including the shoes and more hosiery. It was clip on earrings at first too. It got better too, took me to get my ears pierced at age 11. As I got older, I loved being Jackie part time and still do living a happy male life. As Jackie, my female friends treated me like one of the girls and they still do. Relationships, it was tough, had exes whom thought I was weird. One was my ex wife, did not dress around her at all. Did divorce her and 3 months after the divorce at age 26 it all went right finally. Met my 2nd wife Renee whom has been fully supportive to this day. She shows it to this day and sees Jackie as one of her girlfriends.

That is wonderful to have a few key supportive women in your life!

What are the attractions for you in cross dressing? Is it more like feeling like a woman? Is it more having others view you as a woman? A mix of both maybe?

I ask because I’ve heard one trans woman talk about how for him it was Very important that others view him and think of him as a woman. The external validation was more important than any internal feelings he has as female. In other words he didn’t transition to “feel” more like a woman, he transitioned so that others would treat him like a woman.

to me, that’s an interesting distinction.

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Originally Posted by iris lilies

That is wonderful to have a few key supportive women in your life!

What are the attractions for you in cross dressing? Is it more like feeling like a woman? Is it more having others view you as a woman? A mix of both maybe?

I ask because I’ve heard one trans woman talk about how for him it was Very important that others view him and think of him as a woman. The external validation was more important than any internal feelings he has as female. In other words he didn’t transition to “feel” more like a woman, he transitioned so that others would treat him like a woman.

to me, that’s an interesting distinction.

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As Jackie, I am seen as a woman and knew I had a feminine side to me. Renee, she has always loved guys into getting into their feminine side and it attracted me to her after I came out to her after our first date

I, too, think it is wonderful that you have found supportive people who are accepting of you as you are. Wishing you all continued happiness.

One thing my wife enjoys with me dressed as Jackie is girl night at home watching a movie together. Of coarse shopping and she knows I love shoes

As a practical matter, I find it interesting that you were attracted to pantyhose. I think most women would vote that as one of the most hated of female garments, probably along with bras and high heels, although all 3 are very much associated with femininity. Dresses, on the other hand, can be really cool and comfortable in hot weather. I'm not a fan of "dressy" dresses, but I sometimes like to wear maxi boho "hippie" dresses in the summer.

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Originally Posted by rosarugosa

As a practical matter, I find it interesting that you were attracted to pantyhose. I think most women would vote that as one of the most hated of female garments, probably along with bras and high heels, although all 3 are very much associated with femininity. Dresses, on the other hand, can be really cool and comfortable in hot weather. I'm not a fan of "dressy" dresses, but I sometimes like to wear maxi boho "hippie" dresses in the summer.

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well, Jackie was only 10 years old and back then pantyhose were indeed a major symbol of female attire. Men didn’t wear anything like that.

we can be glad that pantyhose are out of fashion now except for Taylor Swift, apparently.

I have a hard time NOT wearing pantyhose when I'm wearing a nice dress. I just feel undressed. My legs are pale and veiny, and the pantyhose hides that.

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Originally Posted by iris lilies

well, Jackie was only 10 years old and back then pantyhose were indeed a major symbol of female attire. Men didn’t wear anything like that.

we can be glad that pantyhose are out of fashion now except for Taylor Swift, apparently.

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It was the first thing feminine I seen

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Originally Posted by catherine

I have a hard time NOT wearing pantyhose when I'm wearing a nice dress. I just feel undressed. My legs are pale and veiny, and the pantyhose hides that.

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Same, if I were wearing a dress that wasn't ankle-length, I would feel compelled to wear pantyhose. Solution is to not wear those dresses!