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What is your "dream" simple life?
If you did not have to worry about compromising with your husband, wife, kids, parents, friends, bosses, etc. what kind of simple life would you live? Where would you live it? What would you do with your time?
Hopefully envisioning this today (on a Monday, haha) will get you through the day! ;)
If money were no object and I was on my own - I would live in a small RV - big enough to have a tiny bathroom but small enough to drive like a large car. I would follow the seasons around the country, staying in 70-80 degree weather all the time. I'd stay in KOA campgrounds.
I'll tell you mine, if you tell me yours. ;)Quote:
Originally Posted by UltraliteAngler
Seriously, I'll go write up my thoughts elsewhere first before I read your ideas.
Tammy:
That would be a beautiful life! Thanks for sharing your dream. :)
It's not far from what I'm doing now.
but sure, I could improve on it--
in my alternate universe where I don't have to compromise with DH or care for pets and increasingly demanding iris and Lily plants, I'd live in a tiny house in a village, maybe in Hermann MO or in Elsah, Il and also have a pied e terre in the city of St.
Louis. The country house would have my tiny-but-perfect garden and tiny community, and the city place would be my cultural escape.
I wouldn't be working at a job just to pay the bills.
I'd be an artist and a writer living in my native UP of Michigan. Being inspired by the scenery outside the door of my lakeside cabin, I would be prolific in my work and make plenty of money to support myself.
My husband can also live there, but only the dream husband who cleans up after himself so that my house stays pleasant and inviting.
iris lilies: Glad to hear you are pretty close to your dream!
Stacy: I chuckled a little bit at this part: "My husband can also live there, but only the dream husband who cleans up after himself so that my house stays pleasant and inviting."
I've had a couple of thoughts:
I know this doesn't sound simple, but I would have a beach house in Ocean Grove, NJ--I just feel I belong there, and the houses are tiny and simple, but you can walk down the old-fashioned main street and get anything you want or need, and you have the boardwalk with all these happy people walking dogs and fishing on the pier.
BUT, I would have only enough possessions so that I could just pack them away for the summer months and then rent the house out during peak season to offset the mortgage (although in an ideal world, I'd pay cash for the house). Then, in the summer, I'd go up to see my kids in VT and live in a tiny house on wheels in my son's back yard.
I'd live on a small island in Pacific, in the US, in a temperate climate zone, outside a small village but near enough to bicycle. I would occupy my time raising my kid, tutoring math and science, making wine, participating in local government, NGO, and community service opportunities, and doing firefighting/rescue work.
So, basically what I've been doing the past 15 years or so :-)
bae:
You have quite a life set-up for yourself! Living the dream. :)
I'll share.
I think I'd just like to live on the coast somewhere, so I can surf-fish. I'd like it to be the kind of place where I could get a community garden plot and cycle or walk around being totally car-free. A studio apartment for me, my dog, and possibly a significant other would be on the list too. It'd be nice to do some kind of good work I believe in. Other than that I'd like to read books from the library, listen to music, and hang out with friends.
Any suggestions where I might find a life like this? haha
Zip code 98245 or 98261Quote:
Originally Posted by UltraliteAngler
I googled the zips. Whoa! Looks like great places. I wonder how a man might make a living there though.
I see myself living a semi-nomadic lifestyle centred around a particular city (currently Winnipeg). I would live primarily in a van in the summer, but have a few communal housing options to crash in/spend the winter in. Once I get my money coaching business going and pass the Winnipeg day-to-day operations off to an employee, I want to start another business consulting about tiny houses and intentional communities.
I would drive around in my van throughout Manitoba and Saskatchewan being a wise, peaceful mentor/consultant to various people in the areas of money management and intentional community building. I would travel between communities and friends’ houses, sometimes living in their driveways and helping with their gardens and pets in exchange for water and getting food out of their garden. (I already have several friends onboard with this.)
I would drop in for exercise classes and other classes that interest me as they come up. I would do a lot of writing and walking. Hopefully some kayaking/canoeing in the summer, as that’s one thing my joints can handle, and some cross-country skiing and snowshoeing in the winter.
I'm actively working on getting closer to this life all the time.
this has changed since a bunch of medical crap started, but that has made me really crave a simple life, frugal but enjoyable. I could live in a very small place, just a teeny yard needed for a dog (to be able to walk them again would be a bonus). Really pared down possessions. I would very much like to drive again, if not, I'd like walking distance to the stuff you have to do. Very close to a top-notch library. And after all these years, I think I don't want some special locale after all, I just want to be close to the people I love. I should probably want a shiny new husband, but I had ten years of marriage and a 7 yr relationship and honestly, for now, I am very happy without one. A clause to re-evaluate at a later date, please, lol.
I'm a card carrying member of the waunderlust society.
I've come to the relization that I hate being tied down to one place.
I too want the small RV and a small houseboat. There are lots of nice campgrounds to be explored and different views to see and I've just found that in a campground there is community. People walking by always say Hi and strike up a conversation. I would always camp on lakes or rivers since the kayak will go with me...and I'd probably learn how to ride a bike as well.
Kestra made me think of one more. It used to be if you were a certain age, you could audit classes at the State University for free. I would like that very much or I've heard about good schools letting you do this online.
I don't feel the wanderlust or the nomadic urge all that strongly. If an opportunity came up to live that way, I'd go for it. But I think I'd be fine on the other end too, just living in a place where I can walk to everything and walk home from anywhere too. haha
Cost no object?
I'd put in drainage all over my land, more fencing, a new beautiful barn with fans and safe heat and running water - oh! A milking parlor, seperate chicken/rabbit barn also with water, air and heat. 4 season greenhouse, with water. Possibly attached to the chicken/rabbit barn. Now my chores are easy and pleasant. Screened gazebo out by the pond for reading, eating, etc, slightly upgraded pottery studio, neatly organized handmade built-in solid wood shelves and cupboards throughout the house, upgraded kitchen, and can I move my mom across the street?
Then I'd basically keep doing what I'm doing.
I'm going get the kitchen. And water in my barn too. And drainage at least around the house, and maybe some shelves.
Edited to add: I would keep working for the same educational program and the same people, but they would move back closer to my home (maybe even closer than they were when I hired on) and my new classroom would also have running water.
Funny - I'm middle class in 21st century America, and many of my dreams involve not hauling water in buckets.
It changes on what day you ask me but overall I value a natural peaceful setting, moderate climate, sensible populace, libraries, food options. If I could make up a new life right now (not that I don't like the one I have now) it would be to retire this Friday, sell my house for a huge profit, sell most of my stuff, move to Colorado, buy a simple house for cash, have cherry trees and become a part of a small, involved community. Leisure time to read, hike, cook, play in the garden and maybe paint again. Somewhere in there my husband exists with the dream too. I just may pull it off except for the retire this week part.
I could conceivably do it where I am if I could retire from the corporate job. I like our little house, I can walk to the library and a few stores, and there is bus service at the end of my street that connects me with Boston and the world beyond if I am so inclined. We also have two cars, and that is honestly my preference, but looking to the foggy future, there are worse places to age in place. I would like to be able to walk in the woods every day, and get more involved with the woods and be one of her active defenders.
I have to say, I'm glad that UltraliteAngler asked this question, because it's been bothering me all day.
I mean, my answer was so simple and honest, and yet I haven't done a thing to make this dream a reality.
I haven't moved back to the place I want to live because it doesn't seem practical (even though people do it all the time). My family doesn't want to live there, and I can't figure out how I would make that work.
I said I'd like to be an artist and a writer, and though I've circled around these dreams, taking classes, starting a blog and then taking it down, I've never really gone for it. I've always felt like I've had to justify being creative by doing something that wasn't quite right but practical. I started a craft business, but I can't seem to go anywhere with it because I've only been making things that are practical but not exciting. I'm circling around the writing thing by saying that I want to be a college professor, teaching English, and that will be more practical than sitting alone in my imagination and writing a book.
Seriously, this is how I've been living for my entire adult life, and I'm feeling a little shaken that I've been avoiding my dreams for this long.
Stacy:
Here is the bright side -- you are still in touch with your dreams. Many people forget them, suppress them, drink or drug them into oblivion, or blame their kids ("I had a dream once kid, and then you were born...").
But you see your real obstacles. And you can still envision your dream. I am going to ask you why not go for it?
Why not go for it?!?!
You're a big step ahead of me! So don't feel too bad.
I recommend reading the book "Playing Big" by Tara Mohr. It's a good guidebook for this type of thing.Quote:
Originally Posted by Stacy
I'm almost there! MIL passed on so now we can move and do whatever we want. Have been totally cleaning out the house to have ready to sell in the spring and then plan on moving to a medium sized community near family. The place has all the things we need..... a great library, a senior center that has LOTS of activities so that we will be able to meet people, miles of hiking trails, a dog park, stores to shop so we don't have to drive to another city for things we need and a university nearby to take classes. We will continue to travel 3-4 times per year, as well as be snow birds. Hopefully, next year at this time I (we) will be settled!
I'd love to live in a little English village (think Midsomer, but without all the murder) in a tiny cottage with beamed ceilings, deep-set windows and flower-filled garden. Everything would be within walking/cycling distance. I'd have my horse nearby, acres of public land to explore either on horseback or on foot with my dog(s). Wealthy enough to not need a job; maybe just some pet sitting or helping part time at a small busines, like soap making. Sheltered from the big bad world and out of the loop about what the biggest celebrity/movie/tv show is. The nearby town has classes and shops and a community theater to enjoy. I could spend spare time reading, knitting, doing jigsaw puzzles, whatever I want.
Of course, after a year of this I might change my mind, but for now it's OK. I live in a rural area of NJ with a cute old Victorian town next door and surrounded by corn fields, and you need a car to get anywhere here. However it's a gorgeous place and way better than where I lived before.
Or worse, parents who try to live their dreams through their kids, instead of letting them decide for themselves.Quote:
Originally Posted by UltraliteAngler
Yep, I know! I keep asking myself that same question.Quote:
Originally Posted by UltraliteAngler
It looks like that book is right up my alley! I just put it on hold at the library.Quote:
Originally Posted by Kestra
I second this!Quote:
Originally Posted by UltraliteAngler
I had a great aunt who dreamed of being an attorney. This was a long time ago when her peers were all from a lower class background, you got married young, etc. So she did what she was "supposed to do", she married my great-uncle, who ended up being some military big wig, they had no kids, money no longer a problem. She lived her life like she was this great man's servant, hosting soirees, hoity toity. In her 60s she said enough was enough (he was also a drunk), she was going to college. He was beyond angered, I give her so much credit. She graduated, went to law school and a firm hired her! And she never stopped going to college at night, accumulated more degrees, never stopped working and was still a matriculated student when she died at 92! Her closest friends were in their 20s and 30s, as well as the people at work, even they were more than 30 yrs her junior.
so she got 30 yrs of joy by stepping out of her confines in her 60s, granted she was healthy and money was not an issue, but she still inspires me. Whatever your joy is, big or small, if it's meaningful enough to you, I believe you will find your way there eventually
freshstart:
Inspirational stuff right there! What a comeback in the 4th quarter!
I had accomplished my dreams (not the fantasies of if one was rich, etc), by the time I was 25. I has always thought I would be dead by 30 (not sure by whose hand), and then (25) was around when so much stuff hit the fan in my life and lasted for a few years (looked at being homeless, etc). Part of me wondered what it would be like to travel, but years ago, I thought that the military would be a way for me to do that and pay for school, effectively escape. Medically disqualified and that went away. So other dreams took over (what happens when dreams compete). But those things happen when your raised with the idea that you are multiple people (the one you are and the one others believe your going to be).
I have talked about my dream home, a monolithic dome (compare it to typical construction), and how it would allow for other activities (give me a larger shop with a small home). I enjoy tinkering and would continue to do so (can see myself being more like Burt Monro, see the World's Fastest Indian). But that movie in a lot of ways, seems to be what this site is about, finding and living your dreams, no matter the views, expectations and beliefs of others.
Kestra- Thanks for the book recommendation! I've been devouring it all week, even taking it to work to read on my breaks.Quote:
Originally Posted by Kestra
I loved the visualization exercise in the book, in which you get yourself into a meditative state and imagine you're meeting the person you want to be 20 years in the future. You are arriving at her house and she is welcoming you in. You're supposed to let your mind take you where it wants to go and see what it comes up with.
So I did this exercise and found that indeed, this person is living the life I had talked about in this thread - living by a lake, writing and making art. But with more details. She wears bohemian-style clothing- long, flowing skirts and colorful draping tops- clothes I love but rarely wear in real life. She's in her 60's, but her face still appears youthful because of her zest for life. Her home is a bright and sunny cottage filled with art, her own and other people's. She welcomes in many guests. We used to do that, but stopped for various reasons.
I got some interesting details out of this exercise: like the exact name of the town I'd like to live in. It's a tiny place near a national forest where people go for the swimming, boating, and fishing. It's pretty close to a couple very touristy big towns, perfect for someone who's selling art. It's also close to where I grew up, so I have lots of fond memories of summer days at the nearby lakes.
So she's selling art and writing to make money, and also seems to teach the occasional class. However, she is not employed full-time as a teacher or in any other job. This is the part that makes me realize that once again, I've been on the wrong path. I've been planning to go back to school and become a teacher. However, I have been indecisive as to what exactly I'm going to teach and to whom. I'd be good at it, I think, but the idea of getting ensnared into a job I can't just try out and leave easily if I don't like it has been making me wonder if this is the right path, or if this is one more thing I'm getting into because somebody else thinks I should. People act like I should be more practical, but I'm really not a practical person. I'm a hard worker, but I've never held any job for more than five years. So I should just stop fighting it. One of my aunts was an artist and nobody ever questioned it. She was well-known in the local area for her work, and she owned it. No reason I can't do the same.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stacy
Hmmm... now I am intrigued by this book.
Stacy - thanks for the update. That's really fascinating about your visualization, especially the part about the exact town name. I haven't heard that from anyone else. I'll admit I haven't done the exercises myself, (just read the book quickly) as I feel I'm already living the dream, but many of my online friends have done all of it and love the book.
Jake, you should check it out. It's good if you're feeling stuck in your life. Just ignore all the directed at women stuff. I really don't see that men don't have most of the same problems. Perhaps there is some cultural socialization that means it's more likely for a woman than a man, to "not play big", but it's certainly not only applicable to the one gender.
Yeah, I was really surprised about the town, because it was not somewhere I'd ever consciously considered living, even though I've been there many times. I always thought about the city of 20,000 people that is nearby, because it's very similar to where I'm living now. But maybe I'm ready for small town living again.
I told my husband about this, and he seemed very intrigued and we had a nice "what if..." discussion. That's a good sign, as he hasn't considered moving back up to that area for a long time. I'm hoping I can get him on board.
Little cottage by the Gulf Coast...I actually like working now that I left the corporate collar, so I would like to be able to work from pure enjoyment of doing the work I do. I am interested in my creative side once again, but don't know where that is going to pan out, so just going with it. I would also like to volunteer at a zoo or aquarium. It's just convincing hubby to let go of some preconceived ideas of what success is. Slowly working on him- this last vacation was the first time I had seen him relax in a long time. More of that please!!!