"Why are you depriving yourself?"

Hey, this topic came up on another thread (thanks oldhat). So I wanted to share it with you all in its own thread.

Anyway, oldhat pointed out that when a news article is written up on someone who is a minimalist or simple living-type that in the comments people usually say things like: "I work too hard to deprive myself of the little pleasures in life!"

I get this question, in many forms, in real life when people find out I live simply, own few things, and that I am a minimalist.

How do you answer these questions?

"Why are you depriving yourself?"

"Do you ever have any fun?"

"Can't you ever just 'live in the moment' and not worry so much about what a spending spree does to (fill in the blank with 'your wallet' or 'earth' or whatever)?"

What does "deprive" mean in this context?

I never "deprive" myself. I do what I want, I buy what I want. It's just that I don't want to buy much stuff, unless I need it for something important. There's no deprivation involved, the stuff-I-didn't-buy isn't reducing my quality of life or happiness in any way.

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Originally Posted by bae

What does "deprive" mean in this context?

I never "deprive" myself. I do what I want, I buy what I want. It's just that I don't want to buy much stuff, unless I need it for something important. There's no deprivation involved, the stuff-I-didn't-buy isn't reducing my quality of life or happiness in any way.

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Excellent answer! I am going to steal parts of it for my own usage! haha

I don't deprive myself. Even when I was in a heavier savings mode than I am now, I still did one or two vacations a year, had reliable transportation and a decent home. I just don't spend much money on stuff I don't value, which includes being the first in line for new technology or the latest fashions. I do eat well and drink good wine and good chocolate. I watch the birds, and go on hikes, take an occasional sauna, have a relaxed lifestyle- kind of like being on vacation part of the time. Where's the deprivation?

If i don't want something then I'm not deprived if I don't have it.

People struggle to understand me when I don't want something that they view is essential.

Real examples from my life:

Dining room table and chairs
More then 2-3 pairs of footwear
Dresses, heels, dressy clothes
More than one coat
My own car (SO and I share one)
Electric can opener
Electric mixer
Furniture that has been in the family for generations

Etc etc etc

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Originally Posted by Tammy

People struggle to understand me when I don't want something that they view is essential.

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This!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by UltraliteAngler

This!

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Double this!

I'm very much a homebody and don't want to go out and about doing social things most of the time, but there are people who just can't comprehend why I'd rather stay home and read or play video games or *gasp* even study various subjects I'm trying to learn rather than "have fun" (i.e. going out)

I'm sure there are many people who would look upon me with great pity and shock for not having or wanting the 21st century number one life necessity...the smartphone. :)

Admittedly, I do sometimes deprive myself of short term wants for longer term satisfaction.

Let me to my list:

Jewelry
Makeup
Perfume
Mani pedi services
Facials

So many woman think these are necessary and coveted things.

I don't like them, and half of them give me hives cause I'm allergic to so many things.

These things are troublesome for woman cause they are obvious to anyone we see - they are part of our appearance 24/7.

I get tired of do-gooders trying to convince me that they know a brand of makeup that won't make me itch. Plus they don't get it - I don't want to wear make up. I don't like it. And I'm not deprived!

By (dictionary) definition, you need to take something away from, or to stop from having something in order to be deprived of it. Deciding to have or not to have something is what is called a "choice" : the act of choosing, the power or opportunity of choosing.

I'm not deprived not having a professional hair cut - I cut my own hair at home - and I do a better job than many so-called "professionals". And that list, like Tammy's list above, is almost endless. I make choices, I don't deprive myself of anything, just because it's different from choices others make. If my neighbor has a speed boat and a Hummer to pull it out to the lake (all things being equal in the $$$$ department), does that mean because we DON'T own a boat and Hummer we're somehow deprived?

I don't explain. I just live my life my way. A lot of people think we are 1. Poor 2. Just moved in 3. Weird/crazy. After this last round of losing most of our stuff, we had friends over. They keep asking when we are going to get this, this and that. We just tell them "we are not." It's a hard concept for most people. Just live!!!

I get to do yoga EVERYDAY for as long as I want.
We take trips whenever we want because we can pack up and go!!!
I spend time with my family EVERYDAY
I work on rescuing animals and doing photography EVERYDAY
We eat well and we are blessed EVERYDAY
I can clean my house in 2 hours, top to bottom and get on with life.
I cut my own hair too lessisbest. I usually get a good cut 1x a year and then keep up the trims myself. No one notices and complements me on my hair all the time. :)
My life is simple and happy...Hardly deprived.

No one ever asks me about being deprived because we aren't. I guess if we moved in different circles, we might look weird, with our old cars. When we explain to those who ask that my dad gave my husband his 1988 F150 and we keep it going because we figure it keeps him going, the mechanics get a big smile on their face and work really hard to keep the truck on the road.

I can't think of anything we are deprived of, except for affordable medications. So if I want I can get mad about that, but we're still here, surviving, so are doing something right.

We have gorgeous sunrises and sunsets, for example, and we get to walk the dogs down a country road, and I can help my kids buy houses, and we're pretty happy with the way we spend our money.

Sometimes people put it a different way:

"You should treat yourself." "You deserve a nice dinner out." "You guys should really take a good vacation." "You have to try this new xxxxx -- it's totally worth it at only $$/month."

I say, "thanks. That's an idea."

We are looking to build a home...something less than 1000 square feet. A neighbor is also building and she keeps sending me floor plans for houses over 2500 square feet. At this point, I just say Thank you. :)

I deprive myself because I don't like to exercise and I don't want to be fat. So I give most of the cookies to dh. :-(

I don't deprive myself. I may cut back on things I don't feel are important (like heat) so I can spend freely on things I do (like shoes). :D

I wouldn't want a huge house because of upkeep, property taxes, etc. But I would want a smallish well-designed house in a good neighborhood.

I'm not into the hair shirt and flagellation lifestyle. I'm not interested in living like a penitent ,though I recognize that others might. My idea of simple living involves a minimum of obligations and entanglements; I don't travel in circles that require a lot of flash and ostentation.

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Originally Posted by JaneV2.0

I don't deprive myself. I may cut back on things I don't feel are important (like heat) so I can spend freely on things I do (like shoes). :D

I wouldn't want a huge house because of upkeep, property taxes, etc. But I would want a smallish well-designed house in a good neighborhood.

I'm not into the hair shirt and flagellation lifestyle. I'm not interested in living like a penitent ,though I recognize that others might. My idea of simple living involves a minimum of obligations and entanglements; I don't travel in circles that require a lot of flash and ostentation.

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You are so right, Jane, it depends on what you want. I have reading the forums over the past couple of weeks thinking about the posts about permaculture and farms and how that is a "simple" lifestyle. My husband's friend has one such farm, where he offers seminars, permaculture conferences, community gardens, etc. etc. But it's hardly a simple enterprise--it is his family's family farm, which his dad built up as an auctioneer, and he has converted into a 200 acre organic farm. But without all the work and the inheritance of the parents, my husband's friend would not have this resource and would not be able to share it with the community, to build the community in the way he so graciously does.