Your Money Or Your Life - Anyone doing the program?

Hi Friends,

Has anyone here done the 9-Steps program described in Your Money Or Your Life?, I'm looking for some community support and guidance to complete the program. So far, I've started with Step 1a, calculating how much money has come into my life. I've also started decluttering a lot, so I've reduced my possessions significantly. It's been an emotionally challenging endeavor, and I need some support at times, so anyone interested in providing guidance or support? Or in walking together this journey towards a better relationship with money?.

Welcome! Most of us here have familiarity with YMOYL and have done some, if not all, of the steps.

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Originally Posted by iris lilies

Welcome! Most of us here have familiarity with YMOYL and have done some, if not all, of the steps.

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Hi Iris, that makes me so so so happy because I'm having a hard time with step 1 and would love to hear from the experience of someone that has already gone through it.

I got my lifetime earnings off my annual Social Security statement.

I read the book 25 years ago. It got me asking myself before buying something if I really wanted to work that much for whatever I was buying. Often the answer was no. I also started to ask if I would be taking it to a thrift shop in a few years. I stopped collecting things.

Yppej, that works for those in the USA. Kalu, are you in the USA?

The book motivated my wife and I to retire very early, though we didn't work through the formal steps so much.

Hello Kalu! I read the book but must admit that I never followed through on all of the steps. I think my big "aha" was that people often say "time is money," but an even more important concept is "money is time." When I spend my money, I'm trading my finite time on the planet for whatever I am buying, much like Teacher Terry says above.

We never followed the steps specifically but we credit the book for the motivation to "live life differently". We started tracking our expenses carefully, making our purchases deliberately, saving for the future, and recording it all in our annual entries to our Life Book. We started before the book was out and it confirmed we were on the right path. I still have my first copy and still give it as a gift when I think it will be appreciated.

I've bought the book several times...at thrift shops and have never made it all the way through the steps. But I think the title influences me the most. When we had our business I was always comparing everything I wanted to buy with how much glass we'd need to sell. Sometimes the trade-off wasn't worth it.

Welcome to the boards, feel free to jump in on challenges we have or start a new one, ask questions, read old threads.

Welcome Kalu! Why don't you tell us about yourself? I had a layover in Guadalajara years ago and fell in love with the city.

Thanks for everybody's input.

I'm from Mexico and also live here, so my process for Step 1 has been a bit different to what was described on the book but it's relatively simply.

About my process, after reading the book the first time, I have also started decluttering a lot, and trying to avoid buying unnecessary stuff and learning how to fix my clothes and I'm even trying to learn how to make my own shoes!

On the other hand, I'm almost done with Step 1 and it's a lot better than I thought. I'm not in debt and have few savings already, not yet ready for retirement, but seems doable now....maybe, still have 8 Steps to go through.

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About me, I majored in Mechatronics Engineering but made a career in Systems' Engineering; and now, I'm looking forward to leaving my job and work as an End-Of-Life Doula (similar to Hospice service) and life would be awesome if I could also become a part time meditator, I'd love to spend a couple of months in solitary retreat, hence, my interest in completing the program.

We did it. I'm happy to say we own 2 homes free/clear, no CC debt. we live by CC paying it off EVERY month. And we travel free on the points. I wrote a check for my new car 22 months ago. We're fully bankrolled for retirement and work because we still enjoy it.

I can't recommend it enough as a helpful tool to synchronize yourself with money. I will say no CD ladder here. That did not work for us. But all the principles are sound and helpful.

Hi Gardnr, thanks for sharing your experience, it's motivating as well.

But, what did you mean by 'CD', English is not my mother tongue and sometimes find it hard to understand some words.

CD = "Certificate of Deposit" at a financial institution. An amount on deposit with a higher interest in exchange for some time limitations.

My rules are :
Live simply.
Live below your current means.
Have well thought out plans and goals to work towards.
Try not to follow the crowd.

Keep track and analyse often or at the very least once per year to see how things are going and what changes need to be made.

Understand that your life in hours is being exchanged for the money to spend on "stuff" and only you can decide if the exchange is worth it. A simple example is we drink our coffee at home and do not buy those daily coffees so many are out there spending money (life) on. One $3 coffee every working day = $750 per year. Is that what you would spend money on?

Thanks for the clarity on the concept, sweetana3!

So, would you mind sharing the process that brought you to having this rules?, I'd love to have some more inspiration.

In addition to reading YMOYL i would suggest another book called Getting a Life. It was written by a couple who went through the process and also includes stories about other people on the journey and how they approached it.

Actually 2 couples wrote follow up books with true stories. Both were very good. One was written by Linda Breen and I think the other couple was Jackie and David. You can probably google it and find the books. I gave mine away or I could tell you exactly the titles.

Big note: we are a dual income no kids family.

Simple beginning: We both were raised in households without a lot of money for various reasons. Education and hard work was expected by our parents. We got married very young. In the early 80s, we bought a condominium with a 13% mortgage. When we sold it several years later, we had very little equity because all was going to vast interest charges. Looked at one another and said "debt is not a good thing". We sat down and established our short term and long term goals. We wrote it all down in our "Life Book". It includes everything we could think of such as currrent status, anticipated changes and expenses, all goals, and both income statements and balance sheets. It is updated every year (It was updated every month or so when we first started and were budgeting.)

At one point we set up a special saving account for a big purchase down the road. Later when we decided we no longer wanted the big purchase, we had a nice balance. This has happened several times. Good way to prevent impulsive purchases.

Every bit of extra money was discussed as to where would it be best placed. Debt, spending, or savings. It was often debt or later debt 50% plus savings 50%. We don't buy a lot of new fashion, don't drink or spend lots eating out, and don't trade in cars. We did spend on international travel but watched our pennies and got good values along the way. Now we are comfortably retired due to our decisions and have met all our goals.

To help keep the unnecessary stuff out of the house, check out the Marie Kondo books about possessions. I find it a start in how to "curate" your own household items and prevent excess money being spent on stuff.

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Originally Posted by KaluGansito

Thanks for the clarity on the concept, sweetana3!

So, would you mind sharing the process that brought you to having this rules?, I'd love to have some more inspiration.

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Our rules are similar. They come from analyzing life to put it simply.

The US is a consumer culture. A keep up with the neighbor culture. Upgrade is a word we detest-not everything MUST be "improved". Bigger is better. New is a must.

We don't abide by this culture. We spent many a night discussing need vs want.
Then, do we have to go into debt to get what we want? The short answer is no......save up money and pay cash.

We sit down every New Year's Day and talk about goals for the year. What is it? What will it cost (if it has a cost). How will we spend our vacation time? What big life steps are coming up and do they have costs?

Many years ago we started putting every wage increase into savings and retirement investing. This went on until we had reached our federal maximum allowed. Our lifestyle did not rise with our income. This was a very hard thing to do when we were just 30 but we're so thankful at 56 that we did this. We are set for retirement and we work because we enjoy the work we do.

Walking the exercises in the book will be very helpful. It will make you evaluate every single penny you have and how you use it. One of my aha moments was learning that I was spending more than $1000/year on books. I am a voracious reader. I stopped buying books and use the library constantly. If I had not done the exercises in the book I would never have known this!


Best of luck with your money journey!

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Originally Posted by Teacher Terry

Actually 2 couples wrote follow up books with true stories. Both were very good. One was written by Linda Breen and I think the other couple was Jackie and David. You can probably google it and find the books. I gave mine away or I could tell you exactly the titles.

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I just did a search, the books are:
* Choose Simplicity: Real People Finding Peace and Fulfillment in a Complex World by Linda Breen Pierce
* Getting a Life: Strategies for Simple Living Based on the Revolutionary Program for Financial Freedom, "Your Money or Your Life" by Jacquelyn Blix and David Heitmiller >> this one I cannot get shipped to Mexico :( so will have to wait

@sweetana3 and @Gardnr, appreciate you sharing! I'm having a hard time trying to keep up with the 2nd step, but your experience is motivating. I really really really appreciate it!♥ ✌:thankyou:

I think tracking is step 2 and is the hardest thing to do. It is like changing eating habits or exercise habits. But it is critical in making changes. You need to have a base of personal knowledge to make changes that are based in fact and in your own conscious decisions.

About tracking. It is not easy, but I think it is the most important step to achieve financial independence. Living below your means is essential no matter how much money you make.

We tracked every cent for about eight years. In the beginning, we saw a lot of money in the food category, hobbies and general spending on junk. In those eight years we continually saw our spending go down and our savings go up. At the end of the eight years, we were financially independent. We worked for a few more years then quit and moved from a snowy climate.

I think the the key is not to get stuck on little things. Like our utility bill is on the budget about $80 per month. Because of base charges, it is not going to go down significantly. We are still careful but we are unlikely to see big changes there. One area most people see as an area you can improve on is buying food and drink out. As opposed to cooking and preparing beverages at home.
Auto expenses are also a huge place to save. We always bought reliable models like hondas three or four years old and ran them into the ground. Of course, DH is very handy and used to be able to fix most stuff. Not quite possible with today's electronic models.
If you drink alcohol or smoke cigarettes, that is low hanging fruit that can be eliminated. Drinking occasionally of course is not going to break the budget but these two items can suck up tons of money. Your health will thank you for it.

On posessions, a funny story. We live in a big retirement community. We had the movers put our furniture and boxes in the right rooms. By late afternoon most of our boxes were empty and stuff put away. A few neighbors stopped over and one said, so when is the rest of your stuff coming? They were flabbergasted that we had all our stuff already. Most of them could not park a car in their garage for months, and a few had storage units. Going from multi story houses with attics and basements to a one story house with no basement or attic. Think of all the money we saved not buying stuff in the first place and having to move it. Plus, as you age realize it is very unlikely your kids want your stuff. We even asked them and except for a few things I'm pretty sure most of our stuff will end up at goodwill or in a landfill.

So try the tracking. We still keep loose track of money out but it is so ingrained in us not to waste money we just do it naturally.

We spent a lot less on entertainment when we were working then now. The difference is now we have the time and energy to go out and have fun. We go to a festival almost every weekend in the warmer months. WE also drive reliable cars and run them into the ground. When one dies I think we will just need one car. Uber and Lfyt has really helped with this and really once retired how many times do 2 people need to be at different places at the same time.

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Originally Posted by flowerseverywhere

So try the tracking. We still keep loose track of money out but it is so ingrained in us not to waste money we just do it naturally.

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I am a relentless tracker. I freak out if I miss $20 cash in a month. It gives me a feeling of control, and I just simply like to be able to have discussions with my husband: "Do you know we spent xxx on splurge food this month? Next month, let's do fewer trips to the Chinese take-out place."

I've gone from little paper notebooks in the 70s, 80s, & 90s to Excel spreadsheets I set up myself in the 2000s and these days I've been using YNAB (You Need A Budget).

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Originally Posted by Teacher Terry

We spent a lot less on entertainment when we were working then now. The difference is now we have the time and energy to go out and have fun. We go to a festival almost every weekend in the warmer months. WE also drive reliable cars and run them into the ground. When one dies I think we will just need one car. Uber and Lfyt has really helped with this and really once retired how many times do 2 people need to be at different places at the same time.

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Uh, often. Happy marriage=independant activites, for us, anyway.

We do independent activities too but we are not usually both gone at the same time.