Vacation time conundrum

Coworker who I share department work with usually travels at the holidays. In-laws live in FL. Last year wife had a new job and no time so they didn’t go. That’s how I was able to be gone for a week and a half.

This year coworker and his wife wanted to go visit her parents at either Thanksgiving or Christmas since they’ve not been to FL since 2019 due to Covid. I told coworker in the spring I wanted either the week before or after Christmas so I could go cave diving with my WI friends who are down there at the same time. Due to this, going another time does not work for me.

Coworker comes back to work after a week off earlier in the summer and tells me his wife has decided to go to FL at Christmas. Coworker would have preferred Thanksgiving but in-laws are going on a cruise then.

I asked coworker a couple of weeks ago if his wife had decided on dates yet. He tells me no. I told him I need to book a room and the holidays are very popular down where I will be. I told him he needs to tell his wife I want the week before Christmas. I was very firm about it. He looks at the calendar and tells me with the way Christmas and New Years are on weekends this year, we have Friday for our holiday, and that would make it easier.

I ask him again today. I find out that the wife’s job is not going well, and as a result they might not even be going. I tell him I am not happy but leave it. I have been too nice about it. I’ve been trying to take turns since I had the vacation at Christmas last year. He’s got seniority one as he’s been there almost 10 years, but I’m above him, since I’m the licensed customs broker. I’m leaning towards putting it for the days I want this week and then see what happened.

I found an excellent deal on a small house with laundry facilities through Airbnb for the week before Christmas a couple of weeks ago. Very good rate. I could cancel up until the day before arrival with full refund, so I booked it. Coworker doesn’t know this.

What do you think about the situation?

Go with what you know to be true at this time: you go week before Christmas.

Tell him in a friendly way that you are now requesting your vacation that week before Christmas. End of story. I can’t see that any of this other detail matters. It is irrelevant what the status of his wife’s job is. It is good that you are trading off with him every other year. This all seems reasonable to me.

I agree with IL. You have given him ample time and opportunity to select the dates he wanted to take. I would put in for the dates you want and then tell him what those dates are.

I put in for the dates I wanted. Now we’ll see what happens.

As a manager I had to make decisions about who gets vacation time at specific times. In that role I would appreciate that you’re already showing an ability to compromise by trading off with your coworker annually in choice, and also you are giving him two choices before Christmas and after Christmas.

I see this as you’ve already pretty much solved the problem I would otherwise have to solve.

Well, if his wife decide she wanted from 12/18 through 12/28, even after knowing I wanted week before OR after Christmas, for example, I would be screwed. But as I see it, she’s been dragging her feet for several months and made no decision. If she had picked those dates and wouldn’t compromise, I would have gone to higher ups.

I agree with everyone else. Put in for the week before Christmas. Hopefully, you've documented your co-worker's wishy-washiness as well as your own history of trading off with him.

The stuff with coworker is all verbal, and the fact that he’s not put in for days around Christmas speaks for itself.

Put in for my days yesterday. Usually takes a few days to hear back from management. Coworker didn’t say much when I told him I’d put in for those days. He just checked the calendar and saw l’d left the days he wanted open for him.

Got my vacation approved today! Yay!

Good. You did everything right and deserve it. Can’t wait to hear about it when you get back!

Glad that worked out for you!