What does a "slow life" mean to you?

As I mentioned a while back, I am engaged in a creative activity--writing a book about living slower, saner, and more simply. I started out pretty well. I got the prologue and the first "mile marker" (Awareness) written and they were well-received on Substack, but I am SO STUCK on the second "mile marker"--Slowing Down.

What does slowing down mean to you? I'm going to leave that completely open ended. I may follow up but right now I just want to know what comes to mind. That being said, consider the question relative to the simple life..

ETA: When I say "it was well-received on Substack" I mean the couple of dozen of family and friends who signed up to support me liked it.

Slowing down: here, for me, I look at life activities in the same way as many of us look at purchasing consumer goods: sign up only for those activities that truly bring something important to your life.

The things they bring might be sheer fun, or might be work giving a sense of accomplishment, or might be a learning event, or community building through socialization, or etc. But whatever the activity it should be one you value.

Just like we learn to spend money only on the things we really value, we should spend our time only on the activities we really value.

And here it’s important to look for the value in quietude and peacefulness which often is in direct conflict with running around in Busyness.
That is, of course, if you value quietude. Some people like hustle and bustle and running around madly.

I think of having the time to take pleasure in the small activities of life: housekeeping, brushing the cats, savoring a cup of coffee or tea, watching the birds, deadheading flowers, pulling weeds. I read a quote recently, which of course I cannot find now, that really resonated with me. To paraphrase, if you are only really happy when you are on vacation or at a party or some special occasion, then you will not be living a very happy life, because most of life is not lived at these "peaks."

Right now, it would mean not having to work seven days a week (July 4th was my first day off since the idiots accident, Thanksgiving is the next one), while dealing with cancer and trying to move, taking care of two houses.

Appreciating and sometimes delighting in ordinary moments which often includes just staying home.

What rr said. I think of it as having/taking the time to be mindful, and to be able to enjoy the experience of whatever it is you're doing (or in some cases, NOT doing). Sort of the difference between slapping a pre-fab dinner on the table (I love those, btw!) or taking/having the time to make a nice, nourishing dinner and be able to enjoy the process. Being less tied to specific times and schedules constantly. Having the ability to be distracted without screwing something up -read the paper, follow the butterfly, pick the daisies! Play with the cat, watch the cicada pull out of its shell. Not always, perhaps, but at least SOME of the time!

Toomuchstuff, I hope your situation becomes more tenable soon. Sending good vibes your way (not that vibes can help, but it's all I've got at the moment!)

I don't know if how I would define a "slow life", as I'm not sure I want one. What I want is the time and ability to do the things I want to do when I want to do them without having to worry about a "work" schedule. I don't really mind having things/events scheduled - I just want them to be things I WANT to do, not necessarily things I HAVE to do.

I feel like I'm babbling on, but I guess right now I mean no more work. I want an active/eventful retirement - from work! LOL. I'm pretty sure that once I do stop working, I'll be redefining "slow life" or whatever.

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Originally Posted by ToomuchStuff

Right now, it would mean not having to work seven days a week (July 4th was my first day off since the idiots accident, Thanksgiving is the next one), while dealing with cancer and trying to move, taking care of two houses.

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That sounds just awful, even without illness in the mix. I hope the situation improves and you are able to get some relief. Do you enjoy the work that you do?

I think I feel like happystuff on this question. A slow life has some negative connotations due to times in my life where life has been very slow due to illness, so for me, it's a loaded term.

Yes, I think that ToomuchStuff and happystuff both point out why I am struggling so hard with this concept yet I believe it's an important one.

Slowing down can indeed prompt negative thoughts if a) it is impossible to do because of the burden of responsibilities. I can tell someone like TMS or even myself back when I was managing a household with 4 kids, and working 60 hours a week and keeping my own house, etc. to slow down, and the feeling will be, what choice to I have but to stay with this grind?

And then on the other end of the spectrum is the perception of loss by slowing down. Old people slow down but that's because of declining faculties. That's not the slowing down I would aspire to, either.

I think I am imagining the appropriate use of slowing down to be what rosa, iris, pinkytoe and early morning alluded to: Choosing intentionally to slow down to notice things and appreciate the ordinary. And even from a work perspective, I am thinking of the benefit of structuring the workday for what Cal Newport calls "Slow Productivity"--by cutting out the extraneous noise in our lives to create space around ourselves where slowness has room to grow and become fertile ground for both mindfulness and productivity

But I love the variety of responses, because that is exactly the response I kind of expected, but y'all validated it. Here's one my current draft paragraphs:

Why is slowing down a revolutionary act?

Test yourself: How do you feel when you think about the prospect of slowing down?
Resistant: “Yeah, right. I have too many responsibilities”
Wistful: “If I only could!”
Confused: “But wouldn’t I be wasting my time?”
Disapproving: “Not for me. I’m not lazy. I have big plans for my life!”
Pressured: “Carpe diem! I have to pack in as much as I can!”
Overwhelmed: “That would be great if I could figure out how to do it!”
Proud: “That’s not my style--I outwork all of my colleagues—that’s how I got where I am!”

OR

Eager: “Yes—that’s for me. Tell me more!”

Thank you for the feedback! Feel free to continue the conversation. This is a big help.

I really think that the responses - even your current draft paragraphs, catherine - are VERY age/stage of life dependent. If you asked me just 10 years ago what "slowing down" meant to me, I truly believe it would be a different answer than I post above. I also think there is a touch of economics involved in the defining of/and actually achieving a "slow life". For example, I think my "slowing down" at my economic level is/would be different than iris lilies'... or at least the ability to achieve...?

Again, rambling.

I couldn't connect very well in describing slow living, but I did think about the trend or books about slow cooking, where you have control of the ingredients and and the mindfulness of not having to short cut how they are assembled or cooked. And maybe a better outcome in the end.

My memory of "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Repair" is vague but as I remember it, there was one motorcycle fan who learned how to fix and maintain his bike and would take the time to take care of it and understood all of it's workings. And one of his contemporaries had no interest in anything but just riding and would take his cycle to the shop and pay people to maintain it. That's what I remember anyway. One of those would be what I call slow living.

My best take for now.

I loved that book! I remember everyone reading it when I was in college. It was my dad's favorite.

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Originally Posted by happystuff

I really think that the responses - even your current draft paragraphs, catherine - are VERY age/stage of life dependent. If you asked me just 10 years ago what "slowing down" meant to me, I truly believe it would be a different answer than I post above. I also think there is a touch of economics involved in the defining of/and actually achieving a "slow life". For example, I think my "slowing down" at my economic level is/would be different than iris lilies'... or at least the ability to achieve...?

Again, rambling.

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You're not rambling! :). Yes, that's the issue.. but isn't there some universal core of wisdom regarding the need to slow down from time to time that transcends age or economic situation? That's the insight I'm looking for.

Regarding Pirsig's book, "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance"--that's one of my favorites, too!! And I think it gets very close to that "thing" about slow that I'm looking for. It shouldn't matter if you are a CEO or a retireee--there is a benefit to immersing yourself in one thing and rejecting the low-value distractions we are all surrounded with.

It almost sounds like you are using "slowing down" to mean focusing on the main thing and reducing distractions?

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Originally Posted by Tybee

It almost sounds like you are using "slowing down" to mean focusing on the main thing and reducing distractions?

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That's definitely part of it. It's more of an attitude, though, a mind-shift. That's why I want to make it a cornerstone of achieving a different sort of life outside of the mainstream American culture, where everything is push-push-push..

I read a really interesting article about a study that showed that back around the time that Veblen wrote "The Theory of the Leisure Class" the thought was that because of labor-saving devices of the Industrial Age, the "rich" would have time for leisure, and this leisure time would be the new status symbol of the upper crust. Ironically, today, it doesn't matter how much money you have---today's status symbol is busy-ness--bragging about how much work you have. Because now, the status symbol is how much the workplace/world at large values your contributions.

So slowing down entails ascrificing that "virtue", that status symbol for a more internal aspiration.

Tying together all these thoughts has been very elusive, but it's about making a slow, intentional life a way to say "I'm rejecting the mainstream culture's values".. and the way to do it is by re-engineering your work life, your family life, and the way you contribute to society.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by catherine

That's definitely part of it. It's more of an attitude, though, a mind-shift. That's why I want to make it a cornerstone of achieving a different sort of life outside of the mainstream American culture, where everything is push-push-push..

I read a really interesting article about a study that showed that back around the time that Veblen wrote "The Theory of the Leisure Class" the thought was that because of labor-saving devices of the Industrial Age, the "rich" would have time for leisure, and this leisure time would be the new status symbol of the upper crust. Ironically, today, it doesn't matter how much money you have---today's status symbol is busy-ness--bragging about how much work you have. Because now, the status symbol is how much the workplace/world at large values your contributions.

So slowing down entails ascrificing that "virtue", that status symbol for a more internal aspiration.

Tying together all these thoughts has been very elusive, but it's about making a slow, intentional life a way to say "I'm rejecting the mainstream culture's values".. and the way to do it is by re-engineering your work life, your family life, and the way you contribute to society.

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I appreciate the additional post here, as it is letting me adjust my thinking on the topic. That said - it sounds like you are looking for "something" that actually each individual will have to decide/choose for themselves. For example, something that *I* personally find satisfaction/value/etc regardless of how others view it or determine its value. And I think the trick is developing/having the strength to forego what society declares and grasp onto "your something".

Also, I think in our society of "instant everything", many people don't want to spend the time trying to find what makes them happy/slow down. All too often I see close friends and even some family look for it in the material objects and I, personally, don't believe it can be found there. In that aspect, I do agree that economics wouldn't necessarily play a part - or at least shouldn't.

Love this topic and it is really getting me to think about things, especially with regards to how I would like my "life" to be when I retire. Thanks!

What RR said. I would add to be mindful of the "shoulds" of life.

I should be doing that rather than this (thing I'm enjoying) right now.
I should say "yes" to that request
I should (read, clean, socialize, fill-in-the-blank) more than I do.

You get the drift.

The reality is my life is slower since covid times (reevaluation of priorities but also made possible by partial WFH). I still don't get to doing all the things that should be priority even though I know I have very good reasons to prioritize them. I just don't. And I think often about optimizing time to try to fit such things in. So I'm not sure trying desperately to fit a few more important things in is really slowing down. I am making simpler recipes.

And lately I just ask the purpose of everything, ok this is part of decluttering I won't lie, and I'm actually NOT a hoarder not do I buy a lot, just messy. So what is the purpose of this or that room, of this or that item? But what is the purpose of even activities? Going to the gym? It's not to be model thin, but it is to maintain some muscle.

I’ve been thinking of approaches to floral design, especially my own approaches.


When I do floral design, there is a huge difference between traditional garden club lady floral design and Ikebana floral design.

Ikebana floral design is “slow” and thoughtful. It calls for each plant piece to be carefully considered. We consider how it grew, where it faced the sun, what cultural influences were on it as it was growing. We place it in the arrangement carefully, relating it to other pieces of plant material in a cohesive way. In the Ikenobo school there is a tall, a medium, and a short Visual field and each plant piece needs to carry out its place in the design.

In the garden club designs I do, I’m not especially considerate of the plant material. It is more like “ fast” consumption. I buy armfuls of it or pick armful of it to use in design, so I’m really consuming mass quantities of plant material. I think there’s less of that in Japanese design.
I don’t think about how each flower grew in Mother Nature or how it was facing the sun or where the shade fell on it. It’s just a commercial thing for me to use.

That said, we garden club people do know how to make floral designs from minimal materials. I think the Japanese way is very respectful of the plant material but the other way of design, not so much.

okay----this is a littlebittycity, not a giant megapolis like places you kids live. so anyway, last night about 9 pm I took my porch chair downta the intersection to sit-n-watch traffic go by. But yeah---just to save you the trouble of asking, I did take a pack of snack crackers along, so I wouldn't starve. Ha.