My estranged family wants back into my life after 30 years.
I am a 45 year old female. Parents divorced when I was 6 - my sister was 18 at the time. Dad and I moved out of the family home - a house my mother had inherited from her family. I lived with my dad. My mother was very very comfortable financially - she inherited lots from her family and also had a regular paycheque from her family's business. When my parents divorced, I know that my sister moved out of the house and went traveling the world. I actually don't remember much at all about my mother and sister. The only thing I do remember is the explosive fights. I remember my sister physically kicking my father in the back at the top of the stairs, sending him crashing down the stairs. I remember my sister physically punching my dad several times. When dad and I moved out, that's the last I heard from my mom or sister - no birthday cards, no christmas cards, no phone calls, etc. I tried to call mom once a few months after we moved out and the number was disconnected - and she had sold the house. It was tough financially for dad and I. Mom never sent a penny in terms of child support or even a gift or anything once in a while. We lived in small rental units. I had a good childhood; I was lucky, because my dad was supportive and loving. Fast-forward 15 years to when I was 21. I had taken a pause from university to take care of my dad who was going through cancer treatments. My sister (33 at that time) contacted my dad through social media. She and her mother had been arrested and needed bail money. They had been arrested for a serious violent crime. I told dad not to get involved. He didn't listen. Gave them every single penny in his bank account. They said they wanted to be a family again. I stupidly believed them. My mom said had some work lined up and needed a car to get to work. I stupidly stupidly gave her my car, the one I had just worked so hard to pay off. A week later.... not a word from either of them. The phone numbers were disconnected. Fast-forward 14 years to last week. Now I am 45, my dad is 70. Dad has barely anything to live on; he lives with me, I pay the full rent etc etc. My sister contacted my dad through social media last week. That she misses her father and she misses her sister (me). My dad's bday is coming up next week; she wants us to meet and be a family again. Honestly, I know this sounds awful - but I want NOTHING to do with them. I don't want to know her number or how she is doing. I don't want to meet her, not for dinner and not for anything. Since I was 10 years old, I have been telling people that my mother died when I was a baby and I am an only child. To be honest - I had no clue if my mother was alive or not because she never wanted to be in my life, so for all I know she could have been dead. My dad says I am the problem right now, that I need to give them a chance and that I should have never told people my mother was dead and I was an only child - because that was never the truth. I don't know what to do. My dad told me this would mean the world to him at his age - to have his daughters be sisters and love one another. I want nothing to do with her. Am I in the wrong here?
