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Thread: My sis's frugal wedding (Not exactly a holiday but...)

  1. #1
    Senior Member Ultralight's Avatar
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    My sis's frugal wedding (Not exactly a holiday but...)

    My sis and (future/sort of current) BIL are getting married today. Here are the ways they are going super frugal:

    -My sis and her friends cooked much of the food
    -The desserts were bought at Costco
    -Reverend UltraliteAngler is performing the ceremony (I was "ordained" a few years ago on the internet)
    -They are providing their own sound system
    -They did not have a rehearsal
    -No tuxedos will be used
    -The wedding will be held outdoors in a metro park

    So yeah...

    We'll see how this goes. The wedding starts in a little over 2 hours.

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    Senior Member iris lilies's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by UltraliteAngler View Post
    My sis and (future/sort of current) BIL are getting married today. Here are the ways they are going super frugal:

    -My sis and her friends cooked much of the food
    -The desserts were bought at Costco
    -Reverend UltraliteAngler is performing the ceremony (I was "ordained" a few years ago on the internet)
    -They are providing their own sound system
    -They did not have a rehearsal
    -No tuxedos will be used
    -The wedding will be held outdoors in a metro park

    So yeah...

    We'll see how this goes. The wedding starts in a little over 2 hours.
    Good for them!

    Rented dinner jackets are tacky, anyway.

    I will be referring to you as the Rev UL, not to be confused with my IRL friend the Rev AL (no relation to Alan on this site. )

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    Senior Member catherine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by UltraliteAngler View Post
    My sis and (future/sort of current) BIL are getting married today. Here are the ways they are going super frugal:

    -My sis and her friends cooked much of the food
    -The desserts were bought at Costco
    -Reverend UltraliteAngler is performing the ceremony (I was "ordained" a few years ago on the internet)
    -They are providing their own sound system
    -They did not have a rehearsal
    -No tuxedos will be used
    -The wedding will be held outdoors in a metro park

    So yeah...

    We'll see how this goes. The wedding starts in a little over 2 hours.
    My son would be jealous. He's getting married next month and his wedding, as modest as it will be, has grown beyond his hopes and expectations. I think of him and his fiancee as being like Diane Keaton and Steve Martin in Father of the Bride. He loves the idea of the backyard BBQ with "Bride Burgers and Groom Burgers" and his fiancee (and I) have prodded him along the well-trodden path of wedding-bloat. And it's by no means an extravagant wedding! They're DIYing a lot of stuff, but he's been "encouraged" to commit to the fact that this is a WEDDING with 85 people.

    So, he didn't want to spend money on the cocktail hour--of course, he wanted to provide an open bar, but he saw no reason to provide solid food for people drinking.. uh, no, his fiancee shot that down. So he asked the owner of the inn where they are getting married if he could bring his own popcorn. Uh, well, his dad and I offered to pay for some real hors d'oeuvres. We did ask if we could bring our own (i.e. Costco stuff, or even our own bruschetta bar) but apparently there's a health code that prohibits bringing any other food onto the premises.

    But they did ask a DJ friend to give them music as a gift, and a photographer friend to give them photos as a gift, and my graphic designer DD to give them invitations as a gift, and the rehearsal dinner is at a pizza place (a VT landmark one) so they're doing pretty well at some of those budget busting wedding purchases.

    Have fun at the wedding!! Are you going to be serious or witty when you officiate? I just went to my cousin's wedding and they had really untraditional vows, like "do you promise never to order Indian food," it was cute and different. Upsetting to the wedding traditionalists, but entertaining.
    "Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it--every, every minute?" Emily Webb, Our Town
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    Senior Member Ultralight's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by catherine View Post
    My son would be jealous. He's getting married next month and his wedding, as modest as it will be, has grown beyond his hopes and expectations. I think of him and his fiancee as being like Diane Keaton and Steve Martin in Father of the Bride. He loves the idea of the backyard BBQ with "Bride Burgers and Groom Burgers" and his fiancee (and I) have prodded him along the well-trodden path of wedding-bloat. And it's by no means an extravagant wedding! They're DIYing a lot of stuff, but he's been "encouraged" to commit to the fact that this is a WEDDING with 85 people.

    So, he didn't want to spend money on the cocktail hour--of course, he wanted to provide an open bar, but he saw no reason to provide solid food for people drinking.. uh, no, his fiancee shot that down. So he asked the owner of the inn where they are getting married if he could bring his own popcorn. Uh, well, his dad and I offered to pay for some real hors d'oeuvres. We did ask if we could bring our own (i.e. Costco stuff, or even our own bruschetta bar) but apparently there's a health code that prohibits bringing any other food onto the premises.

    But they did ask a DJ friend to give them music as a gift, and a photographer friend to give them photos as a gift, and my graphic designer DD to give them invitations as a gift, and the rehearsal dinner is at a pizza place (a VT landmark one) so they're doing pretty well at some of those budget busting wedding purchases.

    Have fun at the wedding!! Are you going to be serious or witty when you officiate? I just went to my cousin's wedding and they had really untraditional vows, like "do you promise never to order Indian food," it was cute and different. Upsetting to the wedding traditionalists, but entertaining.
    The vows are secular, though largely traditional. I threw in a few zingers though, to make sure they both read the ceremony text I wrote. Turned out, they liked the zingers. haha Not sure what to think of that.

    There will be 75 people at this wedding. 70 from BIL's fam, 5 from my sis's fam.

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    Senior Member CathyA's Avatar
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    Sounds great! DD talks of having a big pitch-in, whenever she gets married. I hope you have great weather and lots of fun.

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    Senior Member Ultralight's Avatar
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    Seems like it all went fairly well.

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    DD was recently married and I hoped for a frugal wedding. She married into a family that is more into appearances than we are so it didn't happen that way. Still shocked at what we had to "contribute" as parents of the bride. But they were very happy with how everything that turned out so I guess it was worth it. It was a lot cheaper when people used to get married in churches instead of "venues" which charge thousands.

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    Senior Member Ultralight's Avatar
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    I think my sis and her husband did it right, for the most part.

    Frugal, laid back, quick ceremony. All secular and in a metro park on a late summer afternoon. I do not support the country music they played on the sound system afterward though! haha

    If it were me it'd have been P-Funk, David Bowie, Steely Dan, and a disco mix!

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    Quote Originally Posted by pinkytoe View Post
    Still shocked at what we had to "contribute" as parents of the bride. .
    Was that not a choice? My parents gifted us our wedding and they drove the budget. DH and I are still grateful for the gift. I sure hope it was given freelly without shock. It makes me sad to read this.

  10. #10
    Senior Member catherine's Avatar
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    Plus, I thought the traditional "bride's parents pay for the wedding; groom's pay for the rehearsal dinner" was kind of out the window these days. I think budgets are patched together in all different ways. As I mentioned, my son and his DF wanted to pay for a modest wedding themselves, but we're throwing something in, and so is her father. I don't think he's contributing more than we are, which is truly not a lot, considering that my son is trying to do the whole thing for 1/3 of the average wedding cost of $30k (in NJ the average is 50k--thank God he's not getting married here!).

    And here is another fun fact about weddings: the more you spend, the more likely you are to get a divorce.

    http://www.pbs.org/newshour/updates/...save-marriage/
    "Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it--every, every minute?" Emily Webb, Our Town
    www.silententry.wordpress.com

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