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Thread: My sis's frugal wedding (Not exactly a holiday but...)

  1. #11
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    Was that not a choice?
    Yes it was a choice to contribute and we were glad that it made her wedding a happy day. Just shocked at how wedding expectations (and expenses) have changed over the years.

  2. #12
    rodeosweetheart
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    Good grief, Catherine, is he spending ten thousand dollars? I guess that is a bargain, these days, but still. . .

  3. #13
    Senior Member catherine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by rodeosweetheart View Post
    Good grief, Catherine, is he spending ten thousand dollars? I guess that is a bargain, these days, but still. . .
    Yes, for almost 100 guests, that is a bargain, believe me. I paid $8k for my wedding of the same size… back in 1977.
    "Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it--every, every minute?" Emily Webb, Our Town
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  4. #14
    rodeosweetheart
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    You are right, a hundred guests, even if you just have it catered--you can tell I know nothing about weddings. My last one was under a thousand, and three hundred of that was for white wine from one of the guests' German winery, and 500 for musicians. But we had the wedding and the reception at the church, and not so many guests. And even that was 17 years ago. . .

  5. #15
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    We had 160 guests (only 40 were mine/DH invitations), a buffet dinner, drinking and dancing (the traditional )Dutch party. Under $3000 acoording to Dad. 1980. Ceremony was in a church and reception at a Holiday Inn conference center. I know it helps that we each had 1 attendant and we made dresses for her/flowergirl/candlelighters. DH's family made the food for rehearsal and it was hosted at his Uncles home/balcony/patio.

    I think location has a lot to do with cost. Rural northwest.

  6. #16
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    10k is still completely insane in my book. How do you easily save up 10k? Although I suppose it doesn't seem as bad if each party only has to save up 5k which is true I suppose, if they both make enough to save for it - though really wouldn't this having to wait to save up even 5k postpone the wedding if you really do want to get married? Enough to make one elope ... have an anniversary party a year later ... As for mommy and daddy paying I had never ever heard of such a concept.
    If you want something to get done, ask a busy person. If you want them to have a nervous breakdown that is.

  7. #17
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    10k is still completely insane in my book.
    If you look into it, the average wedding is now in the $20K+ range. We hadn't saved a particular pot for DD's wedding as she had lived with her fiance for four years and we didn't think they would ever get married.
    Our contribution of $10K+ came out of our retirement savings pot. It just means working longer to recoup. I don't know what they or in-laws spent but probably something close to that.

  8. #18
    Senior Member catherine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ApatheticNoMore View Post
    10k is still completely insane in my book. How do you easily save up 10k?
    Hence my son's glazed look every time his fiancee broaches the topic of the wedding spend. But it's really being split 4 ways: the two of them, DH & I, and her father, which makes it very doable. I have friends who have spent $30k for their kids' wedding. I've lucked out.. my other DS practically eloped--DH and I picked up the beer tab at the local pub after they got married on a Wednesday afternoon with just 6 of us in attendance.
    "Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it--every, every minute?" Emily Webb, Our Town
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  9. #19
    Senior Member Ultralight's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by catherine View Post
    Plus, I thought the traditional "bride's parents pay for the wedding; groom's pay for the rehearsal dinner" was kind of out the window these days. I think budgets are patched together in all different ways. As I mentioned, my son and his DF wanted to pay for a modest wedding themselves, but we're throwing something in, and so is her father. I don't think he's contributing more than we are, which is truly not a lot, considering that my son is trying to do the whole thing for 1/3 of the average wedding cost of $30k (in NJ the average is 50k--thank God he's not getting married here!).

    And here is another fun fact about weddings: the more you spend, the more likely you are to get a divorce.

    http://www.pbs.org/newshour/updates/...save-marriage/
    The average wedding costs $30k!?!?!

  10. #20
    Senior Member Ultralight's Avatar
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    Great article on wedding spending! http://www.pbs.org/newshour/updates/...save-marriage/

    Spend less!

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