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Thread: vaccine and family conundrum

  1. #21
    Senior Member Teacher Terry's Avatar
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    PT, I admit there’s some risk probably in taking the vaccine just like anything but I think it’s more risky not to. I would tell your brother the truth and see what he says. SM is right that you could stay at a hotel to visit him if it comes to that. It’s a shame that he is changing for the worse. I am actually surprised at how many people divorce after retirement. When I think about it my ex has changed in many ways for the worse as he has aged. I was just dealing with it until the cheating. I am sorry you are going through this.

  2. #22
    Senior Member razz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Simplemind View Post
    I would let my family know my husband wasn't vaccinated and wasn't planning on it. I wouldn't feel the need to explain for him. I also wouldn't tell him he had to leave his own home. Me........ I wouldn't mind a get away with family at a place that could accommodate us.
    Nice!

    Isolation and fear stresses people. Both your DH and you have gone through a lot of changes over the past few years - retirement, moving away from the familiar friends and location, rebuilding a life in a new community and now the isolation of covid with all its fears and contradictions. We all change with so many things happening at the same time, losing confidence in ourselves, and the future. We do each own the responsibility for our thinking, acting and how we respond to challenges but sometimes it is a struggle to find a path through. Been there myself after DH's passing. Wishing you both well.

    Perhaps, your family may help find a way to support you both with the concerns re the covid jab. They can't if they don't know about it as they may well be going through the similar challenges with others. This is all new territory for all of us.
    As Cicero said, “Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others.”

  3. #23
    Senior Member jp1's Avatar
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    PT being in the closet sucks. Regardless of what it is that one is keeping secret. Open up to your family about your husband’s refusal to get vaccinated. His personality change should not be your burden to carry in secret.

  4. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by Simplemind View Post
    I would let my family know my husband wasn't vaccinated and wasn't planning on it. I wouldn't feel the need to explain for him. I also wouldn't tell him he had to leave his own home. Me........ I wouldn't mind a get away with family at a place that could accommodate us.
    I agree. And anyone who pursues with additional questions, I would simple point them to DH saying "I can't speak for dh, so you really have to ask him to find out. However, I would LOVE to get together!".
    To give pleasure to a single heart by a single act is better than a thousand heads bowing in prayer." Mahatma Gandhi
    Be nice whenever possible. It's always possible. HH Dalai Lama
    In a world where you can be anything - be kind. Unknown

  5. #25
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    I admit there’s some risk probably in taking the vaccine just like anything but I think it’s more risky not to.
    right, and if he takes any medicines there are risks, and if he smokes tobacco my eyes are rolling out of my head and down the sidewalk, because noone who puffs away at cigs has a right to talk about the vaccine being risky

    None of us are the same person we were before all this started, I doubt most changes are positive.

    But yea you need to tell the truth. But the reason why guest would stay away is not for their own safety if they are vaccinated. If they are vaccinated they are fine. But only to protect him because he refuses to be vaccinated, an altruistic sacrifice.
    If you want something to get done, ask a busy person. If you want them to have a nervous breakdown that is.

  6. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by Teacher Terry View Post
    PT, I admit there’s some risk probably in taking the vaccine
    Nothing compared to the risk of Smallpox or Polio to name a few. Yet, I bet everyone denying this vaccine took both of those? I have an Aunt who had polio and a life of dealing with it. I don't wish that on anyone, just as I don't wish a ventilator death on anyone.

    Vaccines of the past were LIVE virus or attenuated LIVE virus yet we and/our parents didn't think twice about taking them.

  7. #27
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    anyone turning down RNA cancer treatments?

  8. #28
    Senior Member iris lilies's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gardnr View Post
    Nothing compared to the risk of Smallpox or Polio to name a few. Yet, I bet everyone denying this vaccine took both of those? I have an Aunt who had polio and a life of dealing with it. I don't wish that on anyone, just as I don't wish a ventilator death on anyone.

    Vaccines of the past were LIVE virus or attenuated LIVE virus yet we and/our parents didn't think twice about taking them.
    you are wrong, many people were afraid of taking the polio vaccine.

    I heard an NPR story about one of the media teams that went into African American communities to convince those folks to take the vaccine. Granted, this was amid legions of people lining up with their children in tow to get the vaccine into their kids.

    Elvis Presley was tapped to make a public appearance getting the polio vaccine as a way to convince the public to get it.

  9. #29
    Senior Member bae's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pinkytoe View Post
    DH still refuses to get vaccinated which is his right. However, it is putting me in a tough spot as family members and friends now want to get together, ie come for overnight visits.
    Well, if everyone else involved is vaccinated, the current CDC guidance suggests that DH (if he's in a low-risk group) being unvaccinated shouldn't be a big deal:

    "Fully vaccinated people can: ... Visit with unvaccinated people from a single household who are at low risk for severe COVID-19 disease indoors without wearing masks or physical distancing."

    https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019...-guidance.html

  10. #30
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    That is good to know, Bae. DH is 66 and has borderline high blood pressure but otherwise healthy. It will be up to my brother I guess but will be honest about the situation.

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