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Thread: Languishing

  1. #1
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    Languishing

    The NYT today had an article on a word to describe the mindset many of us find ourselves in these days - languishing. Not severely depressed and certainly not optimistic but for some reason, not able to get beyond where we find ourselves now mentally. I know many days I find myself feeling that way. Even with vaccinations going up, there is still a great deal of hesitation and it feels easier to just stay home. Nothing feels quite right - will it ever?

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    Senior Member KayLR's Avatar
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    I can relate. It's hard to make plans when things are so up in the air. So, life on hold. Or life localized.
    My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far today, I have finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already!

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    Senior Member iris lilies's Avatar
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    I think we have a whole lot less control over our circumstances than we like to think we do.


    Probably this pandemic situation has brought much of that home to us.


    I’m happy making “little” plans of short term. The away from home break I know I will be taking is first week in June when I’m going to a flower show school. While I would like to make “big “plans for a European vacation, or even a United States East Coast vacation in the fall, that’s just not in the cards right now. I guess for us because we have so much going on in real estate renovation, We do have projects to direct our attention toward so we are not feeling aimless.

    I wonder if those of you feeling this way like to make big long-term plans?

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    I got so depressed I'm trying therapy again (and I've sworn it off before, but figured I could probably make it work financially, and was not doing well).

    There is also the thing that many of us DON'T WANT to return to the way things were. The 40 minute commutes each way to go 10 miles each way. Why? Tell me why?!? Not that one can return to the way things are, I shared a largish room (none of us worthless proles deserve our own cubicals obviously), in a larger office with one person before the pandemic. Since then they did remodeling (during the pandemic), I will now be crammed in a MUCH SMALLER room with 3 other people when I return!!! So you can't EVEN return to the before times, you can only return to a worse world. From introverts paradise (WFH) to introverts' hell (ever more crammed open offices). Many people have medium walled cubicals, yes and there is no way we are their lowest paid staff, but we don't deserve them for whatever reason, no cubicals for us.

    Meanwhile one can be with vaccinated people, but who wants to go to any group activities until everyone who wants a vaccination has had one.
    If you want something to get done, ask a busy person. If you want them to have a nervous breakdown that is.

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    Senior Member herbgeek's Avatar
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    I'm languishing. Some of it is due to retirement. I have a high need to be productive and do meaningful work (not that all of my work was meaningful before retirement...). I do a lot around my house and yard, but its just not the same when I'm only doing things for myself. Too early to get re-involved in those activities I first got into when retiring 2 years ago. Haven't seen most friends for over a year- as we typically meet in restaurants and for me, that's still a little iffy. I feel like I'm hanging on, but can't really plan much into the future.

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    Quote Originally Posted by pinkytoe View Post
    Even with vaccinations going up, there is still a great deal of hesitation and it feels easier to just stay home. Nothing feels quite right - will it ever?
    Hesitancy is warranted. We are far far away from herd immunity and the world outside the USA is way behind us!

    Do I live in fear? No.

    Am I vaccinated? Yes.

    Will I travel? Yes. I have 2 trips planned in the next 75 days. I'll mask and clean appropriately on the plane, in the car and in the hotel room. I'll not mask when everyone present is vaccinated.

    Will it ever feel right? IDK. It really depends on vacc rate climbing.

    Current state: I do what is important to me. I enjoy many hobbies and activities that are home-based. I meet up with friends. We do go out to dinner. Return to domestic travel is the one addition to my life that stopped in April 2020. I hope my 2 quilt groups restart in January! I really miss those.

    The future is question marks for sure.

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    Languishing? Sounds like the sort of condition tragically sensitive New York Times writers might be prone to. I recommend a regime of professional hockey, red meat cooked outdoors and getting over one’s whining self.

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    Senior Member Yppej's Avatar
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    I can't even plan for raking my leaves. For the second week in a row the city contractor has failed to take the yard waste when scheduled and my barrels are all full. I feel like the pandemic has become an excuse for every lazy person to not do their job, leaving me languishing. Some businesses can't find people to hire because folks would rather sit at home and collect unemployment. That's definitely languishing.

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    Senior Member razz's Avatar
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    Languishing? It is one view to consider. I had to look up what it meant to know how to respond. Psychology dictionary definition:LANGUISHING. A condition of ones mental health characterized by lack of interest, apathy, and listlessness usually caused by boredom. Perhaps, I have had moments of this but not a generalized feeling. There were times during the winter when I felt that I was drifting and not accomplishing as much as I hoped each day because there was always tomorrow to get it done. I felt like a bear hibernating. With the coming of spring, I feel that I am more active and planning my day with a to-do list.

    The pandemic has generally required me to slow down, think about what I really want before I go anywhere and stay home otherwise. I do love my house and neighbourhood so that has not been hard to do. Funny, I should get my car serviced every 8,000km but over 6 months I have driven just 2,000km. I did get the basic service done when I had my winter tires traded for the summer tires but little else is needed for the next 6 months.

    The dog gets walked when I choose and I am relaxed doing it visiting with other walkers I meet. I am finding that I like this better as my old rushing around routine was not satisfying any more. EG-Instead of rushing off to walk the dog for an hour and then off to church with an hour's drive, I zoom the service. I really like that.

    I really like the amount of online content now available to consider and having the time to think about what I am reading or watching. I don't watch TV so catch up via the internet.

    I am more comfortable phoning now and more often to catch up with family and friends. I had got into the habit of quick calls or brief emails to make arrangements to connect periodically feeling that was enough because they were busy as well. I am finding that with longer phone conversations, those connections are being rebuilt.

    Do I miss seeing family and friends face-to-face and doing things with others? Definitely but I keep thinking that the lack is temporary for now.

    Interesting thread and question.
    As Cicero said, “Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others.”

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by LDAHL View Post
    Languishing? Sounds like the sort of condition tragically sensitive New York Times writers might be prone to. I recommend a regime of professional hockey, red meat cooked outdoors and getting over one’s whining self.
    You obviously are an introvert with few hobbies or interactions with others.

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