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Thread: Contested guardianship

  1. #111
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    Quote Originally Posted by rosarugosa View Post
    Even spring chickens do not stay spring chickens.
    I have chosen 80 as the age I would like to die. My sister says life's cruel joke will be for me to live to 100, or I could certainly die tomorrow. But I do think 80 is a good age to go.
    I took two of those "how long do you have to live" indicators and one said 83 and one said 84, and I thought, alright, I can live with that.

    That would spare me the last ten years of my mom's life, which have been pretty horrible.

  2. #112
    Senior Member razz's Avatar
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    I was surprised at different posts about the age preferred to depart our beautiful world.

    https://media.nmfn.com/tnetwork/lifespan/#13 is one lifespan indicator to explore.
    I expect to live to 100 and that lifespan calculator suggests 96 years. I am comfy with that and I expect to fully enjoy my life til then.
    There is a lot of wisdom in downsizing to a manageable setting. I downsized from a farm to my little house which will work for the longterm according to https://www.aarp.org/livable-communi...b133a-20200722.

    I expect to hire snow removal and grass cutting at some point as well as house cleaning once a week.

    Menu planning is simple, food delivery is available and I can go shopping nearby on a mobility scooter if that becomes necessary. Zoom church services, streaming options and online contact with family and friends will expand in the coming years.

    I think people struggle with downsizing because they fear the changes that may result instead of seeking solutions to the fears as they arise. The status quo is not an option because life in always in motion and unfolding. I am grateful each and every day and seek to find and know the good that is happening.
    As Cicero said, “Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others.”

  3. #113
    Senior Member iris lilies's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by rosarugosa View Post
    Even spring chickens do not stay spring chickens.
    I have chosen 80 as the age I would like to die. My sister says life's cruel joke will be for me to live to 100, or I could certainly die tomorrow. But I do think 80 is a good age to go.
    We have two households of friends who are well over 80. There are 80 years olds running this neighborhood.

    That isnt old enough.

  4. #114
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    This conversation reminds me of an essay I read a few years back and which stuck in my head:
    https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine...-at-75/379329/

  5. #115
    Senior Member Yppej's Avatar
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    90 is the age at which I expect to decline significantly, given family history. It could be physical or mental or both. So my retirement savings are based on supporting myself to age 90, because after that I expect to be in some sort of care facility, and if Medicaid has to pick up the tab so be it. I have paid taxes all my life - I am entitled to that.

  6. #116
    Senior Member razz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pinkytoe View Post
    This conversation reminds me of an essay I read a few years back and which stuck in my head:
    https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine...-at-75/379329/
    This is interesting to read.
    ETA: As the author mentioned, I am surprised by how many age-based medical tests friends and family have without a cause beyond this is what is needed for an annual check-up.
    As Cicero said, “Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others.”

  7. #117
    Senior Member catherine's Avatar
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    I haven't picked a number--I'm a play-it-by-ear person and I think that carries into my expectations for my death age. If I go by family DNA, I could live into my 90s, and as long as I'm still engaged in life and my family still enjoys my company, why not?

    OTOH, I might die of a heart attack tomorrow and surprise everyone that my DH outlived me. I'll take it a day at a time and see what happens.

    ETA to add my comments on the Atlantic article. Interesting data with the wrong conclusion (IMHO)

    What he said about diminished functioning is of course true. But what he said about not being useful, or having no more creative potential as a reason to die is twisted. So, if I'm 78 and have lost hope that I will win a Nobel Prize, but I can still rock my granddaughter to sleep, or play with a grandson on the beach, does that count as a life still actualized in a meaningful way?

    The great-aunt I talk about all the time STARTED caring for me in the summers when I was 7 and she was 78. When I was 16, she stopped driving and let me drive her around. She was 87. She stood straight like a soldier, never came downstairs until she was fully dressed in her floral A-line shift and stockings and 1-inch heals, earrings and lipstick. I never once had to take her to the doctor--one time she fell at the bottom of the stairs but she got up with help and was fine. She died at 92, rather suddenly, and just a day after I dropped her off at her apartment after our last summer together. Those summers when she was in her late 70s and 80s when she cared for me, she gave me so much. If she had decided she wasn't useful and checked out at 75, that would have been a tremendous loss for me.

    I think it's ridiculous to say that 75 is the sweet spot for ending your life because you've squeezed all the juice out. What a gross generalization.
    "Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it--every, every minute?" Emily Webb, Our Town
    www.silententry.wordpress.com

  8. #118
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    I've always said 75 is decent for me. I may consider pushing it up to 80. My mom is alive and closing in on 90, but I'm just not sure at this point in time. I guess I'll find out eventually. LOL.
    To give pleasure to a single heart by a single act is better than a thousand heads bowing in prayer." Mahatma Gandhi
    Be nice whenever possible. It's always possible. HH Dalai Lama
    In a world where you can be anything - be kind. Unknown

  9. #119
    Senior Member JaneV2.0's Avatar
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    If I went by those women's magazine questionnaires, I'd probably already be dead. Averaging my parents' lifespan, I come up with 87. If I had a choice, I'd choose immortality, but we haven't got there yet. The medical community can shove their endless appointments, tests, and procedures, IMO--I'm not going to spend my final years sitting in a GD clinic waiting room.

  10. #120
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    My dad was 90 when he died, and he was engaged and curious until the day he died. Always picking up new hobbies and interests. His grandchildren and great grandchildren adored him, his funeral was attended by so many people I didn't even know, who talked about how Dad helped them out in some way, outside of any limelight. He gave from his heart because he had stuff to share, not for thanks, or admiration. I'm glad he didn't give up the ghost earlier. His mom was 93 when she died, and she was still playing piano for "the old people" (her words) at the senior center.

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