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Thread: Contested guardianship

  1. #121
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    Quote Originally Posted by herbgeek View Post
    My dad was 90 when he died, and he was engaged and curious until the day he died. Always picking up new hobbies and interests. His grandchildren and great grandchildren adored him, his funeral was attended by so many people I didn't even know, who talked about how Dad helped them out in some way, outside of any limelight. He gave from his heart because he had stuff to share, not for thanks, or admiration. I'm glad he didn't give up the ghost earlier. His mom was 93 when she died, and she was still playing piano for "the old people" (her words) at the senior center.
    That is absolutely wonderful and reaffirms my belief that it is what one does, not what one has, that is important.
    To give pleasure to a single heart by a single act is better than a thousand heads bowing in prayer." Mahatma Gandhi
    Be nice whenever possible. It's always possible. HH Dalai Lama
    In a world where you can be anything - be kind. Unknown

  2. #122
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    Your parents sound wonderful, herbgeek.

  3. #123
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    I am planning through 90, and after that, someone else can take over the planning.

    If I am out of my mind at that point, well then I hope I don't last longer.

  4. #124
    Senior Member Teacher Terry's Avatar
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    Razz, the calculator gave me 92. Quality of life is what we all want. My dad was a vibrant, outgoing person who loved to help others and was totally disabled by a big stroke at 59. He didn’t have quality of life and died at 73. He had a DNR and refused all medical treatments beyond his medications to control his body movements so he wasn’t more miserable. His emphysema was so bad that one cold would have killed him. Despite us living next door and all of us catching colds and coming over he never got one.

    My mom battled 3 different kinds of cancer between 78-89 and loved life and didn’t want to go. She had all her faculties and so does her sister at 96. I hope I keep my mind. It’s more important than physical abilities. I think the author is wrong about doing your children a disservice by living too long. My kids have great memories of my mom and everything they did together. I didn’t mind helping my parents when needed.

    I don’t expect my kids to take care of me but my youngest said I made the right decision getting 2 bedrooms so he can come help when I need it. He hasn’t married and can work from anywhere and him and I get along easily. He would come help like I did with my parents. If I get dementia I have told them to stick me in a home of course because that’s too difficult to deal with. My mom needed someone to stay with her at times for between 2-4 weeks and I and my siblings did that. No personal care was required but she needed someone to cook, clean, do laundry and to make sure she was okay. That wasn’t a burden.

  5. #125
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    Based on siblings, I may have, at most, 10 more years. That is ok since there is no family to take care of or care about me anyways.

  6. #126
    Senior Member Yppej's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by iris lilies View Post
    No.
    I misread. It is bedrooms not bathrooms. I will delete.

  7. #127
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    Tybee and herbgeek, I know it hasn't been long, but just wondering how both of you are doing. Hope the situations are progressing well.
    To give pleasure to a single heart by a single act is better than a thousand heads bowing in prayer." Mahatma Gandhi
    Be nice whenever possible. It's always possible. HH Dalai Lama
    In a world where you can be anything - be kind. Unknown

  8. #128
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    Quote Originally Posted by happystuff View Post
    Tybee and herbgeek, I know it hasn't been long, but just wondering how both of you are doing. Hope the situations are progressing well.
    Our situation could be going better. Siblings hired a lawyer that I did not care for, and he is not doing a very good job, in my opinion, and is acting all surprised that judge is saying that he has not proven his case. He seems to be doubling down on the first incompetent strategy, although I suggested he change things to be more in line with what people were doing here successfully (getting evaluation by neurologist, for example.) I am first ignored, then weeks later, told in group emails my suggestions are wrong. Guardian is shutting me out of Mom's medical care.

    I am increasingly alienated from siblings, who think I am "a troublemaker" and think folks they have hired are wonderful, even though they are making a lot of mistakes.

    They insisted on taking over and shutting me out, so all I can do is keep hoping mom ends up okay, and pray for her peaceful existence, not too bothered by all of this mess.

  9. #129
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tybee View Post
    Our situation could be going better. Siblings hired a lawyer that I did not care for, and he is not doing a very good job, in my opinion, and is acting all surprised that judge is saying that he has not proven his case. He seems to be doubling down on the first incompetent strategy, although I suggested he change things to be more in line with what people were doing here successfully (getting evaluation by neurologist, for example.) I am first ignored, then weeks later, told in group emails my suggestions are wrong. Guardian is shutting me out of Mom's medical care.

    I am increasingly alienated from siblings, who think I am "a troublemaker" and think folks they have hired are wonderful, even though they are making a lot of mistakes.

    They insisted on taking over and shutting me out, so all I can do is keep hoping mom ends up okay, and pray for her peaceful existence, not too bothered by all of this mess.
    I'm so sorry that it seems to be such a struggle. I think you are right and now may be the time to concentrate on your personal relationship with your mom. Continued well-wishes and prayers.
    To give pleasure to a single heart by a single act is better than a thousand heads bowing in prayer." Mahatma Gandhi
    Be nice whenever possible. It's always possible. HH Dalai Lama
    In a world where you can be anything - be kind. Unknown

  10. #130
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    Quote Originally Posted by happystuff View Post
    I'm so sorry that it seems to be such a struggle. I think you are right and now may be the time to concentrate on your personal relationship with your mom. Continued well-wishes and prayers.
    Thank you, happystuff, that means a lot to me!

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