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Thread: Contested guardianship

  1. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tybee View Post
    TMS, if you co-own a business with someone who is failing, then you need a lawyer to protect your interests, too. If someone gets guardianship of the person, then they act as the person with whatever legal arrangements you have prior to the person having a guardian; the guardian becomes the person and can make any business decision as the person.

    The issue is, I have been on the board for 8 years, with the current owner. His late brother, was a partner, but not on the board, legally. (alcohol/licensing issues)
    The brothers estate still has a month, before it should be settled. That has to happen first, before the owner can transfer that ownership. If he becomes incapacitated before that, or it is determined, later, that he was failing, that could potentially put the ownership in question.
    Since his sibling died, he has not been talking with most of his family, and they have been communicating through me.

  2. #32
    Senior Member iris lilies's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tybee View Post
    Iris, she is is just saying, "no, I don't want this." Unclear if she understands what "this" is, as she is so very far gone. She does not know who anyone is, but is still a very smart person. She has brain damage. It's not that she wants to do something we all don't want her to do--well, I guess it is, she wants to "go home" although does not remember any home post 1947.
    From this description it’s hard for me to believe that a court would allow your mother to continue to make her own decisions. How could she even figure out where to live on her own?

  3. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by iris lilies View Post
    From this description it’s hard for me to believe that a court would allow your mother to continue to make her own decisions. How could she even figure out where to live on her own?
    Oh, yes, that is completely impossible, so not sure why the judge did not rule last week. I think procedurally, she was not represented by a lawyer at the first emergency hearing, and they never got her consent, and then they did not get her a lawyer. It's a due process issue.

  4. #34
    Senior Member herbgeek's Avatar
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    The court appointed a lawyer for mom, who met with her to determine her wishes. She wants to stay in her house but anyone talking with her for more than 2 minutes can tell she is impaired. Mom also won't allow us to hire helpers (because she is normal ) and doesn't want to move. She also gets angry if you tell her that you are doing something for her (like wiping counters). We are supposed to take care if things when she is out of the room so she can continue to deceive herself that she is taking care of everything. Because she has lost touch of time, she can't tell you when she ate or showered or took her medicine. Its all the same day.

  5. #35
    Senior Member razz's Avatar
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    I had no idea that things could get that complicated for so many. Would some of this been prevented by a personal power of attorney or is that the cause of the problems? Trying to decide on capacity to decide if power of attorney can be invoked?
    As Cicero said, “Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others.”

  6. #36
    Senior Member iris lilies's Avatar
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    Wow, people are so different!


    I remember when my mother was still living alone and my brother took over all of her mail. He had her important mail forwarded and he also swung by her house daily to pick it up from her mailbox.


    I thought to myself oh this is not going to go well, she will resent this loss of independence because she liked opening mail and sending money to ridiculous organizations.


    But you know what? She was relieved and happy when he took over servicing her mail.She talked about how nice it was that he was doing this for her! So, you never know!

  7. #37
    Senior Member herbgeek's Avatar
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    Power of attorney differs from conservatorship. My sister already has poa. That allows her to be mom's agent. But she is limited to what mom wants. Conservator ship allows us to make decisions mom doesn't want ( such as admitting her to assisted living).

  8. #38
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    it's nice if Mom or Dad allows the kids to take care of things, but if they DON'T, and they refuse to sign over complete guardianship/power of attorney/conservatorship (not sure of the correct wording, but it's not just a medical power of attorney), it is too late to do it after their dementia has reached a certain point and they refuse. Then the kids can call Council on Aging, Adult Protective Services, the DMV to try to forcibly revoke their drivers' licenses, appeal to their family doctor, etc etc --- but absolutely nobody can step in and do anything against the wishes of the elder....unless the family goes to court and has the person declared incompetant, which is excruciating for all concerned.

  9. #39
    Senior Member iris lilies's Avatar
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    My brother disabled my mom’s car in some way. Gosh it was mysterious why that car did not run! She was driving very little by then anyway, and after a few months of talking about getting the car fixed, she forgot about it.

    this followed an incident where, according to our mother, she was pulled over by police and harassed and kept in her car for hours.


    Since my brother is plugged into the emergency personal in that town, and he knows the policeman who pulled her over, he thinks it’s highly unlikely that policeman who is a very gentle and sweet dude did anything close to what our mother complained about.

  10. #40
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    This is one of those "worst case scenario stories" that everyone is trying to avoid:

    https://www.forbes.com/sites/nextave...h=17bc02277636

    I don't understand the judge's actions in this one but it's a good cautionary tale, I guess.

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