My neighbor/good friend goes through so much angst with a mother like that--narcissistic, it's always about her, very demanding, whines on the phone, but expects everyone to do for her while she does nothing for herself or anyone else. Her granddaughter's baby shower was a couple of weeks ago, and I asked my friend, "did your mother go" and she said no. She lives in the next town. It was no burden to get a ride. She had two children and two grandchildren willing to shuttle. She's in her late 70s, and she's just closing the door on everything. It's very frustrating for my friend, but she has come to realize that she can't do anything for her mother except offer and if her mother refuses, so be it.
"Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it--every, every minute?" Emily Webb, Our Town
www.silententry.wordpress.com
The key to overcoming much family angst, IMHO! It is so hard to accept that the only person we can really change is ourselves. We know it, and yet we seem to not believe it...she has come to realize that she can't do anything for her mother except offer and if her mother refuses, so be it.
I'm on a private FB group and one other members has a narcissistic mother. She calls her "momrhoid" because she's a pain in the butt. I've quit begging people. They can either get over it or die mad.
"Do not accumulate for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and thieves break in and steal. But accumulate for yourselves treasure in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, your heart is also." Jesus
You expressed this beautifully. Some of us will find ourselves in the future losing control of our lives. How do we imagine we will respond? It might be interesting to ask someone who knows us well how they think we will respond.
A close friend stopped taking her meds when it was the last bit of agency she had. No one who knew her well was surprised.
Was inspired by a 90+ woman recently. She is in a mobile home community here in TX. She was telling how she is losing her balance and recently had to give up her car. She stated she recently sold her large mh for a smaller 1br, 1b one she could maintain herself and where she lives she can drive her golf cart to the grocery store. The store has many nicely prepared meals and salads. She has many friends and activities to occupy her time. She is accepting her limitations and adjusting amazingly IMO. She is the definition of aging in place with dignity and self-sufficiency!!
That is such a cool story, frugal, she is my hero! I would love to do the same, in a florida trailer by the ocean.
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