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Thread: What have you given up...

  1. #1
    Senior Member catherine's Avatar
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    What have you given up...

    A. ... for something better?

    B. ... for something that didn't pan out as you had hoped?

    Life is a series of compromises... some are worth it, some are not. I'd like to hear some stories. What do you wish you had NOT compromised on? OTOH, what has been totally worth the sacrifice?
    "Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it--every, every minute?" Emily Webb, Our Town
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  2. #2
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    Leaving Alaska in 77 for the better job opportunities in Indiana was a totally spontaneous and successful decision. No planning of any kind prior. We were very young. Good place to settle and worked out for the absolute best. Gave up the state I wanted to stay in for the rest of my life.

    Company transfer for 3 years to NC good and bad. Good for husband's job advancement. Bad for me and suburbs. But still a great learning experience. Lesson = hate suburbs with a passion. Gave up my career and the house we would still be living in if we had stayed.

    New job as an admin assistant to one person. Found out it was not a good fit personality wise between the 2 of us and not a good fit for my own job satisfaction. Wish I had stayed with the job I was in before it even if boring. Retired from this so it was not a long term soul sucking position but hated it by the time I retired.

    The big issue is to not have bitter regrets. Decisions are made in the past for various reasons, actions taken, things happen. Learn lessons and go on. Do better or different next time.

  3. #3
    Yppej
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    For better - Gave up a job closer to home for a better job.

    For worse - Gave up my singleness to partner with men who were not worth it. Wish I had not made compromises with them.

    Worth the sacrifice - being a single parent. Even though DS is estranged from me, he is a good person and I am glad he is on this earth.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Rogar's Avatar
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    I gave up a significant amount of corporate retirement benefits to retire early. Absolutely no regrets. I'll have to think about item b.

  5. #5
    Senior Member Teacher Terry's Avatar
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    Best move I made was moving to Reno for a job with the state. I interviewed by phone and had 10 job offers all in different states. I had never been out west or wanted to live there but my mom had been to Reno many times and encouraged me to go there. I love it here, my kids followed me although only one stayed permanently and I have the deepest friendships of my life. Having lived in 5 states this is the absolute best!

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    I kind of wish I never had any job ambitions at all (or had vastly more, maybe that would work, but one or the other, not something in between). Because leaving a dead end job for another job in the hope of something better (some ambition), when that didn't work out (because I ended up working for a personality disordered person really), started off several years of unemployment and precarious employment, for which I am permanently scarred.

    But my job situation has been fine for awhile now. But I have no clarity at all about when one should leave a job (unless it's terrible), and that way also lies potential ruin, even with the best intentions.
    Trees don't grow on money

  7. #7
    Senior Member rosarugosa's Avatar
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    Rogar: That's a good one. I would have done better financially to keep working longer, but the joys of early retirement cannot be overstated, and nobody knows how long they have on the planet. I am so much happier reading, walking, gardening and making pottery than I was sitting through interminable meetings and just living with day to day corporate bullshit in general.
    I am currently giving up my hope of restoring Old Mother Hubbard's Cupboard and having it remain a permanent part of our kitchen. I realize that has been the main sticking point to us having a proper functional kitchen, so I'm letting it go and we now have a nice design drawn up by a kitchen designer. The kitchen as it is now is pretty horrible and depressing and we're both looking forward to improving that situation. I'm ready to let go of my old cupboard.

  8. #8
    Senior Member iris lilies's Avatar
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    Rosa, you will love your new kitchen and will also miss the old cupboard. You’ve shown us a photo of it. The sweet old thing needs to give way for betterment.

    but…new kitchen! Worth the regret.
    I am not a serious person.

  9. #9
    Senior Member catherine's Avatar
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    Thanks for your responses! Rosa, I don't remember seeing the picture of Old Mother Hubbard's Cupboard! I'd love to see a re-post.

    I'm not surprised at the responses of giving up corporate jobs/more money/benefit for more time in retirement! After all, we are all YMOLer's! My version of that is being glad I gave up corporate life for the life of a freelancer. I get almost the same benefits--in fact it's kind of the best of both worlds because I can refuse projects if I wish to.

    In terms of compromises I wish I had not compromised on, there are situations in my life where I should have done a better job of protecting my own interests, and I won't be specific... many of you will be able to guess what I mean. Now that I'm older, I see more clearly the importance of fighting for holding on to what you value. Being flexible and accommodating is a worthy idea, but there is a downside to feeling that at times you didn't hold true to personal principles.

    As sweetana said, no regrets really. I just want to slap myself upside the head and move on.
    "Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it--every, every minute?" Emily Webb, Our Town
    www.silententry.wordpress.com

  10. #10
    Senior Member iris lilies's Avatar
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    I was always pretty career oriented and moved 3 times for better jobs.

    I remember in 2000 when I would have been at my job for 11 years thinking “ it is time to move on for challanges and advancement.” I was not getting the automation experience I wanted in my work.

    I came to the decision, after about a year of thinking about this, that I liked my life situation in my beautiful neighborhood. Even though my house wasn’t nearly renovated yet then, I still liked it. Loved my garden. So that was a point where I gave up chasing a career for a lifestyle advantage. I would’ve been around 45 years old.
    Last edited by iris lilies; 8-31-23 at 11:40pm.
    I am not a serious person.

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