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  1. #1
    Senior Member catherine's Avatar
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    Mini-attachments

    This could have easily gone in the Simple Spirituality thread, but I didn't want to turn off anyone, because it's really just about... attachments.

    This past weekend, I went with my two brothers and one sister-in-law (and DH of course) to see my third brother in MN. My MN brother is experiencing failing heath--nothing acute, but seeing him slowly lose mobility and spending a week in the hospital recently facilitated one of those "We're not getting any younger and we should all get together" realizations, so we decided to go. First time since my wedding in 1977 that all four of us siblings were together. DH, with the disarming way in which he can cut to the chase with things that most of us leave unsaid, had told my brother, "Hey, M, we're not coming out because you're on your deathbed or anything." (cringe).

    So that's the context, not really relevant for this topic, but here's why I'm writing..

    My SIL is a person who on one hand has a pure heart of gold but OTOH is the most annoying person you'd ever want to share space with. She has a way of constantly complaining and making mountains out of molehills all day long. She has weird quirks. She goes on and on about her knees, back, tinnitus. She's a combination of Eeyore and Goldilocks, wandering around with head down, not happy with this--wishing she had that. Never comfortable.

    One of her little quirks is this--everywhere she goes she has to have her "stuff"--a collection of things she keeps at her side like her plastic McDonald's fountain drink cup (no other soda will do). So when we would leave the house, she'd call for my forbearing brother to get her a bag so she can gather her creature comforts and take them with her, no matter how short the trip.

    This need for her "stuff" around her all the time made me wonder what I might cling to unnecessarily--what are my little cravings that, without them, I'd be just a tiny bit more free? I truly don't think I have too many--but before I get holier-than-thou vs my SIL, I really want to examine what those mini-attachments are.

    My cell phone
    My iWatch
    My morning coffee
    My quiet 20 minutes after waking up
    My pencils that I use to write in my bullet journal
    My bullet journal.

    Those are a few of mine. What are yours?
    "Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it--every, every minute?" Emily Webb, Our Town
    www.silententry.wordpress.com

  2. #2
    Senior Member catherine's Avatar
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    Actually, here is a sidebar to my post... Coincidentally, this Ann Patchett New Yorker article just showed up somewhere in my inbox.. A very sweet story about attachments. Hopefully no paywalls.

    https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2...ow-to-practice
    "Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it--every, every minute?" Emily Webb, Our Town
    www.silententry.wordpress.com

  3. #3
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    Strangely enough I have been thinking of this recently as I am preparing to move - I have to downsize significantly and will have to amend my daily schedule too.


    My daily run
    My morning tea / coffe
    My knife
    My necklace with a tiny star pendant
    My first harmonica
    Family Bible handed down since 19th century

    I am attached to those. Quite happily. I cannot say if I would be more free without my attachments. Perhaps in some sense. But a lot of the freedom I find comes from also being grounded and belonging and knowing where that is.

  4. #4
    Senior Member iris lilies's Avatar
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    I hate my phone and barely use it, But am seldom without an IPad Mini in my hand.

    Must. Have. Morning.Coffee.
    I am not a serious person.

  5. #5
    Senior Member Rogar's Avatar
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    I just watched a modern period piece movie movie of the 1950's that portrayed all the women carrying purses the size of small luggage. I suppose those days are mostly gone but not completely. I am trying to take my cell phone where ever I go, but like IL, I have a distaste for being immediately availably regardless of where I'm at or what I'm doing. It does come in handy for certain things. Morning coffee is pretty much a requirement. I could do without the morning news, but I do weather check with weather underground every morning since most days I'm outside at least part of the time. If the day has a walk or bike ride I usually take binoculars and water bottle at the least. Otherwise, I can't think of must have mini items to take everywhere, but the mini-attachments in my home are a long list I'm working on.
    "what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" Mary Oliver

  6. #6
    Senior Member iris lilies's Avatar
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    Roger…guess you do not know about the mystique of The Birkin Bag. Like a small suitcase. Coveted by thousands of gullible women. Costs thousands and thousands of dollars, you will not believe how much. One needs special access to buy such a bag, you can’t just waltz into a store to buy one.

    79555CE6-722B-4D43-95E7-D2AB89919131.jpg


    edited to add: there is a Birkin bag for sale right now on eBay for $295,000. I am not kidding. It is crocodile skin.

    The plain vanilla Birkin bags are in the $10,000 to $20,000 range.
    I am not a serious person.

  7. #7
    Senior Member Rogar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by iris lilies View Post
    Roger…guess you do not know about the mystique of The Birkin Bag...

    Some time ago I was talked into buying stock in "Coach". It opened my eyes to a world of women's accessories I'd not know to exist outside of high society.

    I really enjoyed the New Yorker article. I had to clear my browser to read it. I actually have lived part of it somewhat recently. When they mention opening a drawer that contained not just a few dish towels, but 50. And shelves filled with obscure glassware never used. It brough back recent memories or stuffed drawers and closets with huge multiples of everything and all had to be cleared out.
    "what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" Mary Oliver

  8. #8
    Senior Member catherine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rogar View Post
    Some time ago I was talked into buying stock in "Coach". It opened my eyes to a world of women's accessories I'd not know to exist outside of high society.

    I really enjoyed the New Yorker article. I had to clear my browser to read it. I actually have lived part of it somewhat recently. When they mention opening a drawer that contained not just a few dish towels, but 50. And shelves filled with obscure glassware never used. It brough back recent memories or stuffed drawers and closets with huge multiples of everything and all had to be cleared out.
    What I liked about that article was how she talked about how we go through stages choosing possessions that we think might define us. The description of Kevin was priceless... I think many of us could relate to the many costumes we use to identify ourselves. I think that's why I'm comfortable with my purge. I'm old enough to have a better sense of who I am, and I was able to fairly easily get rid of the material symbols that I thought rep represented me at one time or another.

    I'm trying to determine if I have an analogue to her typewriter as personal icon, but I don't think there's one. (I have to say, I chuckled when I read that because when my mother asked what I wanted for a HS graduation gift, I told her I wanted a typewriter and we both ultimately decided on a Hermes--the same kind the author talks about.). I think maybe my personal "icons" that represent me are some of the homemade gifts my kids have given me throughout the years. I think that as generic and uninteresting as it sounds, I think being a mother has defined me.
    "Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it--every, every minute?" Emily Webb, Our Town
    www.silententry.wordpress.com

  9. #9
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    Catherine, That article was beautiful. It might motivate me...I get stuck on where to get rid of things, wanting them to have a good home when I could easily just send them to Good will. I liked her idea of getting them all in one place. But where in this crowded house? What i take with me when i go out...a satchel -old cloth tote- that has another little tote..my purse which has wallet, reading glasses, sunglasses and phone. Also in the larger bag is a book, just in case I have to wait somewhere.

  10. #10
    Senior Member iris lilies's Avatar
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    To elaborate, this was brought home to me when we were doing the major construction on our house in Hermann and I needed to be in Hermann a few times overnight.

    In the morning I need:

    Coffee
    a toilet
    Wifi

    At times our Hermann house had a useable toilet, sometimes not, but it always had wifi and I could throw together instant coffee easily enough.

    The local cheap hotel did not have functional wifi, ‘tho it had a toilet and coffee.

    so, a couple of times I stayed in the nice little Bed and Breakfast Inn down the block from our Hermann house which had all 3.
    I am not a serious person.

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