Aging loved ones struggling to care for themselves

[catherine]

Rachel, is there Meals on Wheels that she could use? I was just reading about it in one of our local towns and they show up once a day and will bring the mail in, check on the person, and leave the food--that would be awesome for her.

I was a Meals on Wheels volunteer my first two years here in VT. I found it rewarding because it's a touchpoint for people who might be lonely or unable to shop regularly. I had one man who would ask me to join him on his porch for a chat, and I would, time permitting. You are not obligated by MoW to do that, but you can if you want. My next-door-neighbor's mother used MoW until she had to move to assisted living, and my neighbor would get a call from the organization if they tried to deliver and no one answered the door.

[Tybee]

That's cool that you were a volunteer for Meals on Wheels!

[catherine]

I liked it because you just pick a schedule and a route that works for you.

[Rogar]

My parents got a dinner sized Meals on Wheels three times a week in their era of infirmary. It was generous enough for left overs for another meal. They could afford to pay and I can't remember what it was, but it was a bargain. I've donated money to them in the past. It's a great program. I really dislike driving in the city, but it would be a good thing to volunteer. I think there is a shortage of drivers.

[Tybee]

Meals on Wheels approached my mom and offered to bring them meals, and she refused. It would have been such a good thing for them. But she was already suffering from dementia, and mistrusted them.

[Rachel]

Thanks Tybee. Meals on Wheels is a great suggestion and I'm watching for a good moment to ask her if she would consider this. She is, like most of us (me included) extremely specific about her food preferences, and it's unlikely MOW would fit with those pref's. Dignity vs Survival. Still, there may come a moment when she will be open to this.

[Klunick]

My mom turned 87 in June and has gotten really bad. Her house is gross and infested with mice. She hasn't done laundry in years. She either just wears the same thing for months on end or will buy new clothes online. A few months ago, her dog passed away. Didn't think much about it until about two weeks later when my sister texted me saying the dead dog was still laying on Mom's kitchen floor. I had to go over there and dispose of it in a trash bag. Thought I was going to puke. I hate to say this but when she passes away, it will be sort of a blessing. She isn't the mom I knew growing up and as an adult. She doesn't do anything and her mind clearly isn't what it used to be. She just sits in the house in front of the TV or computer and that's it. So very sad.

[rosarugosa]

Klunick: That sounds like there is definitely some dementia involved. The laundry reminds me of some of my mother's behaviors, but the dog incident is over the top.

[Klunick]

Klunick: That sounds like there is definitely some dementia involved. The laundry reminds me of some of my mother's behaviors, but the dog incident is over the top.

The laundry is because she can't make it downstairs to the laundry room. She is afraid of falling. We tried to convince her to get one of those chairs that you ride up and down stairs but she doesn't want to spend the money. The dog was sad and gross at the same time. I can't remember why she left it for two weeks but I can't imagine going into the kitchen every day and seeing that and being ok with it.

[nswef]

I have a sister who kept 2 dead dogs in her freezer....