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Thread: Have you ever paid for friends' event tickets?

  1. #1
    Senior Member catherine's Avatar
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    Have you ever paid for friends' event tickets?

    DH and I were talking about an upcoming event here at a local winery--an evening of music from Broadway musicals by professional actors/singers. Tickets are $32. It would nice--that winery has very pleasant outdoor events.

    So DH said at one point I'd like to invite the minister. Then today he said, "I have an idea--Let's bring [another couple we know] and [the minister] for an afternoon trip on the boat and then we can go to the Broadway event." We had a disagreement when he said that we would pay for their tickets to the show. I said, no, our contribution is the boat trip before the show. They would pay for their own tickets. He couldn't even comprehend that. He said he would never invite someone to something and not pay their way.

    I continued to protest saying that no one has ever paid for my ticket when we all decide to attend an event together. It's never expected. We would just say, "hey, we're going to this show. Want to come? We'll take you out on the boat before we go and then we can go together." What's wrong with that?

    Do you think an offer or suggestion to go to an event with a friend implies that YOU will pay for it? He said will not ask them at all if I insist that they pay their own way to the show. (This is so typical of DH's thought pattern. Sometimes I think he feels he has to buy his friends, when he clearly does not. Everybody loves him--and not for his "wealth" either.)

    Or am I being cheap?
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  2. #2
    Senior Member iris lilies's Avatar
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    Neither of your positions are wrong, you just have to make it clear which part of the day/evening you are hosting.

    there is an annual event at the winery down the street that I’ve thought about inviting people to, buying their tickets, but once I buy their tickets, then they’re obligated to come. It is $100 per head. I’m not sure about that. I think it’s more realistic to say for this event, “I highly recommend you come with us, here’s the website website to buy tickets.”

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    I don't think you are being cheap, but I think I am kind of cheap myself in this way, so maybe it's just a difference in personality styles? I am pretty frugal and have never grabbed checks, for example. I think that is grandiosity in action, but again, that's not my issue.

    If it were I I would compromise and take them out for a nice boat trip and feed them, unrelated to the concert. That way, you are providing entertainment and paying for it.

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    Senior Member Tradd's Avatar
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    I’ve only ever paid for a friend’s ticket once. It was to a classical concert at a local college and it was a piece I knew she loved. She was unemployed at the time and couldn’t afford the $20 ticket.

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    Senior Member rosarugosa's Avatar
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    IL said it well. For us, it has been more typical that we would mention to someone that we are going to a concert for example, are they interested, and the person would either say, "yes, please get me a ticket too and I'll reimburse you," or "no thanks." It usually makes sense to buy all the tickets together so you can sit together. I'm sure there have been occasions when we or another party have treated, but I think your DH is wrong in thinking that's the only way it's ever done, or that to not treat is being cheap.

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    Senior Member Rogar's Avatar
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    Pretty much what IL said. I don't think there is a right answer, but when you invite people and want them to pay you should just mention the cost of the tickets in the invitation. Alternately you could say, come as our guests, in which case they may offer to pay anyway.
    "what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" Mary Oliver

  7. #7
    Senior Member rosarugosa's Avatar
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    Rogar: Mentioning the ticket price sounds like the perfect way to make it clear that everyone is expected to buy their own tickets.

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    I always mention the ticket price and any other additional costs that may be incurred with the event.

    For example: We are going to this concert and thought you might be interested in coming. Tickets cost $$$. If we all agree to do a meal before or after, it could end up being a bit of an expensive night, or we could just do the concert. Let me know.
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  9. #9
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    Right before covid, Roger Waters came to town and I only heard about the tickets after they had been on the market (resellers really expensive). Steve, my late boss/friend, found out he was coming back (heard it on the radio) and bought four tickets for him, Angie, Myself and another friend of ours to go see. Covid hit and the concert was delayed. He passed although the tickets were through Angie's phone. She passed and the family shut off the phone before they could be transferred so the $700 in tickets went away. Closest I ever came to being the beneficiary. I would if a friend had some sort of issues and we both wanted to see something, like a friend I had when I was a kid. I saved up my lunch money to buy us two tickets to see Return of the Jedi, as he didn't have money to see it.

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