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Thread: Can we talk about silverware?

  1. #1
    Senior Member rosarugosa's Avatar
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    Can we talk about silverware?

    For 40 years, I've been using my maternal grandmother's silver plated flatware, and it has been fine by me. Recently however, I am less OK with it because some of the fork tines are showing the base metal, a few knives have broken, and it doesn't shine up as well as it used to. I'm sure this is largely my fault from using that silver dip cleaner stuff for many years.

    In any event, my mother has a complete set of sterling that has been sitting in a drawer tarnishing. She said I can have it and my sister is also OK with that. I've taken some of it home, polished it (with good silver polish, no dipping) and started using it. The other day, I was eating an egg with a freshly polished, beautifully gleaming fork, and watched the tines turn black before my very eyes. I googled, and apparently this is a thing for silver to react to egg yolk. I'm not sure how I never knew this, but I never did. So I'm wondering if Simple Living can really encompass having to get out the silver polish every time we eat an egg, lol. We like eggs! I am at a stage of life where I could reasonably do this, and while I don't love polishing silver, I don't particularly mind it. It's one of those mindless, contemplative activities.

    I'm wondering if I should try to sell her set, buy myself a nice set of stainless, and use the rest of the $$ for Mom's ongoing care needs.
    She has service for 12 with big forks, salad forks, big knives, little butter knives, seafood forks, teaspoons, tablespoons, multiple serving spoons, serving forks, ladles, cake slicers. It's certainly far beyond anything she has ever needed, and beyond anything I will ever need. I don't have a dining room, no formal china or crystal, so while I like nice things, we are definitely more of an informal dining household.

    Her silver is "Theme" pattern by Gorham, if anyone is wondering. Any input?

  2. #2
    Senior Member iris lilies's Avatar
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    Rosa, just so you know and without me reading your post yet, we can ALWAYS talk about silverware.

  3. #3
    Senior Member iris lilies's Avatar
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    I use plate at home and my set of Sterling is at my condo where it gets occasional use. We don’t eat eggs at the condo.

    Probably if I were in your situation, I would sell the Gorham set and here’s why: I don’t have things around my home that irritate me. It sounds like the sterling would just be an irritant to you because it turns black. It sounds like you’re perfectly happy with silver plate, and honey, there are crap tons of plate sets all over because people get rid of it. Don’t buy it new, buy it on the used market.

    if you’ve been using the silver plate for decades, it will eventually wear because that’s what it is, plated. You did nothing to it to cause the wear, it’s just natural with use.

    you’ll have no trouble selling the Sterling. You would have tons of trouble selling the silver plate. But if you sell the Gorham set you should probably split the money with your sister because it sounds like she expects you will be using it. that’s what I did when I sold our mother‘s sets of sterling, split the proceeds with my brother.

  4. #4
    Senior Member rosarugosa's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by iris lilies View Post
    I use plate at home and my set of Sterling is at my condo where it gets occasional use. We don’t eat eggs at the condo.

    Probably if I were in your situation, I would sell the Gorham set and here’s why: I don’t have things around my home that irritate me. It sounds like the sterling would just be an irritant to you because it turns black. It sounds like you’re perfectly happy with silver plate, and honey, there are crap tons of plate sets all over because people get rid of it. Don’t buy it new, buy it on the used market.

    if you’ve been using the silver plate for decades, it will eventually wear because that’s what it is, plated. You did nothing to it to cause the wear, it’s just natural with use.

    you’ll have no trouble selling the Sterling. You would have tons of trouble selling the silver plate. But if you sell the Gorham set you should probably split the money with your sister because it sounds like she expects you will be using it. that’s what I did when I sold our mother‘s sets of sterling, split the proceeds with my brother.
    I would never sell it without including my sister in the plan and any proceeds, but I could envision us deciding to direct the proceeds towards caring for Mom. My sister has a set of sterling that Mom gave her years ago, that was our late aunt's. I believe it's a smaller set though. I took the plated partly because it is monogrammed, and the letter is the first letter of my husband's last name (I did not change my name when we married).

    If I get rid of the plate, I would just donate it to a local thrift shop.

  5. #5
    Senior Member iris lilies's Avatar
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    Any old, worn unwanted silver plate I “ donate” to DH’s metal pile. He makes a run about once a year to the scrap metal dealer and gets a couple hundred dollars. Gotta fund the Christmas lights ya know.

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    Personally, I would keep the sterling and use it and probably ignore the black--I remember my grandmother talking about that, how it happens with some people and not others, so that is kind of interesting. Or clean the forks once a week, while watching tv or something.

    I would certainly try it for 6 months and see if I came to like it. Do you have nieces or nephews to leave it to? My uncle left me my set of sterling, and I gave my mother's to my niece (kind of wish I hadn't, as she never acknowledged it and I thought I was being nice and would have left it to my kids if I knew she didn't want it.)

    I currently am using silverplate, and I have two sets of sterling, so I'm probably not the person to ask. One I probably need to sell, as it has high value, but it was a wedding present from my mom, so I probably will not.

    The other is from my uncle from my grandmother, who actually sold silver door to door to support herself. So I'm not getting rid of that!

    But your idea of using the proceeds to help your mom is lovely, too, and much more practical, and I know you feel you don't have tons of space, so that is a very sensible and good solution.

    I like the silverplate set I bought on ebay. I don't have to worry about it, it has no sentimental value--but when my son was visiting once he admired it, so now maybe I'll leave that one to him.

    And this is why I don't get very far with Swedish death cleaning, and hope I die before I have to go into assisted living.

  7. #7
    Senior Member rosarugosa's Avatar
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    Tybee: It sounds like you have bigger silverware issues than I do! I'm not necessarily sentimental about something just because it was my mother's or because she gave it to me, because I have so many nice things my parents had given me over the years. Which is not to say that I'm not sentimental about things. I have a book that I didn't even particularly love, but it was signed by the author, and I remember having such a nice conversation with her. Every time I look at the book or think about culling it, I have that pleasant little memory run through my head, and it stays on the shelf. I'm also having trouble parting with a flannel shirt of all things. I always had trouble finding clothes that fit me. I used to love flannel shirts, and I had built a nice collection at one point, which wasn't easy. I don't really wear flannel shirts anymore though, and I've donated them all except this last one. It's got a cute pink and white micro-check pattern. Getting rid of things is more complicated that one might think.

    I have a niece I can leave things to if she outlives me (both of her sisters died in their thirties). She is on my husband's side of the family though, so it wouldn't have too much family/sentimental value to her.

  8. #8
    Senior Member catherine's Avatar
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    I have a monogramed set of silverware that was my beloved great-aunt's. We only used it for special occasions. When I moved to Vermont, I thought, what the heck. The kids have no interest in it and if I use it every day and lose a piece here and there, at least I'll have had the joy of using Aunt Florence's silverware (and seeing her initials every time I do).

    However, after 7 years here, I realize I actually have lost a few pieces, and I'm a little upset about it. So I put it back in a safe place.

    I have a bin of assorted sliver in the storage unit--mostly silverplate but I have never really looked at any of it to assess its worth.

    Third silver story. When my mother was living in a nursing home, I stored a silver tea set in my MIL's attic. Well, her once-recovered but relapsed brother sold it for drugs. She didn't tell me for a long time. She does value things like silver and gold, and she dreaded telling me about it. When she did, I simply said, "oh, ok.Don't worry about it." The relief on her face was a joy for me to see. I really didn't care, frankly.

    Since I know nothing about the price of silver, I kind of consider it "junk" but junk that I'm afraid to junk because it might be worth something. As I've said before, I don't value gems like diamonds becasue they have no intrinsic value to me. They're just rocks.

    So you guys are making me think that maybe I should cash in. rosa, I like your idea of selling the set and putting it towards your mother's care. Or just splitting it with your sister. Either way. If you aren't getting any joy out of it, why keep it.

    Tybee and I are on different sides of the fence when it comes to death cleaning, apparently.
    "Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it--every, every minute?" Emily Webb, Our Town
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  9. #9
    Senior Member Rogar's Avatar
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    I have a mis-matched set of family sterling utensils in a shoe box in my closet. It's on my winter declutter list to cash it in. My cursory research says unless it's a modern or popular pattern, odds are that it's worth is in the silver value and will be melted down. Silver has been running around $30 an ounce, so the value is easy to figure if a person has a basic scale. A person can buy a very nice set of stainless utensils for the selling price of sterling. I'd probably want to consult an expert on whether a full set of a certain pattern is worth more than the melt value.
    "what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" Mary Oliver

  10. #10
    Senior Member iris lilies's Avatar
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    Second hand Diamonds aren’t worth much, and recently the bottom has been dropping out of the entire diamond market. That is because lab diamonds are ramping up in popularity, and they are exactly the same thing as mined diamonds, they are the same chemical compound that can be cut and shaped exactly like traditional diamonds.

    I’m thinking about buying a big giant sparkling lab Diamond because the per carat cost these days is astonishingly low.

    As for Sterling, it is always worth money. Always. And the heavier and more ornate the pieces, the more it’s worth. It is highly unlikely that any of your tea sets sitting around are sterling, that’s just not a middle class thing to own because sterling hollowware is extremely expensive.

    It’s also unlikely that any of the trays and salvers sitting around your home are sterling. Sure it’s possible but unlikely.

    Silverplate cutlery sets are practically worthless, although there are some patterns that some people want sometimes. Back in the day when I was buying silver pieces grape patterns were popular. I do not know what is popular now. I like very ornate pieces, but I wouldn’t be surprised if simple, elegant patterns like the one Rosa has from her mother is popular.

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