Privacy

[catherine]

When I started my book project, the online course I took to learn how to self-publish advised going on Substack and inviting people to read your drafts. He said to invite 100 people. Well, all I had the stomach for was to invite about 15 people--my family. As you know, I haven't even given you guys the link, although at this point I probably will soon, now that the following has happened.

I love being on Substack because except for those 15 people I invited no one knows me. I do use my real name, but that's OK, because no one knows me. The nature of my project requires that I write it as a quasi-memoir of my own journey to a simpler life but I only use what I absolutely need to from my own life to make a point. The one chapter that I wrote that was really more "self-help" and less "self-indulgence" garnered criticism from my DIL who said she really wanted to know more about my story. So I've been working on that. It's hard for me. You guys are the only ones I blab to about all areas of my life. But again, this site is very comfortingly anonymous.

So anyway, a couple of weeks ago, an old friend from my teen years reconnected with me, and we did a couple of back and forth emails catching up on life. It was fun, but that was that. But all of a sudden I got an email that this person subscribed to my Substack! How did they know about it?? They must have googled me and unfortunately I forgot that if I'm on Substack, I'll come up in searches.

Now I'm very self-conscious. I know I need to get over that. On a scale of 1-10, where 10 is a "I'm an open book" and 1 is "If I throw a towel over my head, will you still be able to see me?" I'm probably a 3.

How about you? How private a person are you IRL? If you had to write a memoir of your life, would you enjoy sharing it, or would it terrify you?

[iris lilies]

Anyone who wants to figure out who I am in real life, can figure it out. I have more than 23 years of posts on this website although the first 10 years disappeared when Dave Wampler took the site down. Or did it? Is it out there on the way back Machine? Beats me.

look at my post count to see how much yakking I do on this forum. And then figure that I do a bunch of yakking on Mr. money mustache, and on a couple other same-themed forums. Lots of yakking, but only some personal revelations.

[catherine]

Anyone who wants to figure out who I am in real life, can figure it out. I have more than 23 years of posts on this website although the first 10 years disappeared when Dave Wampler took the site down. Or did it? Is it out there on the way back Machine? Beats me.

look at my post count to see how much yakking I do on this forum. And then figure that I do a bunch of yakking on Mr. money mustache, and on a couple other sane-themed forums. Lots of yakking, but only some personal revelations.

Yeah, but do people know who you are behind your user name? Could they find you in Hermann? I've known you for 20 years, and I couldn't. That's why I try to keep my online presence as private as possible. I realize that you and Alan, as moderators, know how to find me, and that's OK. It's just that i was shy as a child and I'm still pretty shy.

[iris lilies]

Yeah, but do people know who you are behind your user name? Could they find you in Hermann? I've known you for 20 years, and I couldn't. That's why I try to keep my online presence as private as possible. I realize that you and Alan, as moderators, know how to find me, and that's OK. It's just that i was shy as a child and I'm still pretty shy.

catherine, you are so nice. You couldn’t find me because you are not devious. Believe me, I’ve dropped enough hints over the years here that anyone with a detective mind could find me.

You have talked about your kids and their film careers. You are findable through that. Just sayin’. And probably your husband‘s current business would reveal you.

[iris lilies]

I realize I didn’t answer your question. My life is not a “open book “because I don’t reveal super personal stuff, but other stuff I put out on the forums, I assume the world is reading it. Sure it’s semi-anonymous but not entirely anonymous and I assume it could be tied to me personally and that’s fine.

[iris lilies]

Stories about privacy on forums:

Two other financial related forums I frequent have “journal “sections that are not indexed in Google so that provides a bit of a shield, but really all anyone has to do is register on those websites and they can access the journals.

Spartana had a terrible problem with a real life stalker. He’s in jail now. Fortunately, she carries a gun and she knows how to use it, being ex military. She closed her account on MMM for a while.

On MMM someone in the military got slapped down by military for writing stuff, but it’s not clear to me what she wrote that was improper, it certainly wasn’t revealing any secrets. I don’t know if they were monitoring her output or what, but that was something I found very strange.

On another forum I have been…shocked… at what one person revealed that led to that person‘s Instagram account that led to Nude Selfies. I mean, full frontal nudity. I suppose there was a compulsion to show people his stuff but… Yeah, there’s so much wrong with that situation. I can’t even go into it, and I don’t shock easily.

And then there are the therapists who think they are circumspect with their identity but again, anyone with detective brain could figure out who they are. The two I am thinking of never talk about their clients, tho.

The lesson is that we really aren’t anonymous on these personal chat sites.

I believe I could be chatted up and scammed by an AI bot who follows me around the Internet, sees what I write about, groks my interests and then befriends me. If they made me laugh enough, I might send them money. I find comfort in the fact that by the time AI gets this sophisticated, I’ll probably be dead.

[Tradd]

I’ve been trying to be more anonymous online. That’s why I like Reddit. Sort of a fresh start.

[iris lilies]

Reddit is a hellscape of fun. Unfortunately, for me, there too in the St. Louis sub Reddit I couldn’t keep my mouth shut about where I’ve lived and people I know, so once again, someone could suss me out if they worked at it.

[Tradd]

Reddit is a hellscape of fun. Unfortunately, for me, there too in the St. Louis sub Reddit I couldn’t keep my mouth shut about where I’ve lived and people I know, so once again, someone could suss me out if they worked at it.

There’s a group relevant to my industry that’s quite helpful.

[Rogar]

I have a friend who had his DNA done by 23andme. I understand you can delete your data, but asked why it matters. One response I got was that insurance companies could get a hold of the data and use it to research and determine insurance rates based on chronic disease indicators. I don't know how true that is. I'm not sure what anyone would want to learn about me, but it probably pays to keep a low internet profile in case big brother is watching. I ordered an item via Amazon from vego garden and suddenly my TV has been giving me vego garden ads when I use certain streaming services. I suppose the Fire Stick knows.