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Thread: Well, it finally came to pass.....

  1. #1
    Senior Member Sissy's Avatar
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    Well, it finally came to pass.....

    We found out on the 19th that DH has terminal lung/intestinal cancer. Non-operable, maybe chemo, but DH refuses to go thru it. I support anything he wants to do because he has already decided this a long time ago.

    We have been married 10+ years and he has been hospitalized 5 times for heart stents and once for non-malignant colon surgery. So I have worried for, well, 10 years. Too much smoking, too many chemicals where he has worked in he past. Funny, even tho I have expected and waited for the day, It was like a kick in the gut when he told me. He went to the Dr for a stomach ache! They found a huge mass in his lung and a blockage in his small intestine. Lymph nodes are involved in both. His father lived and died the same way and he said that he would not go through treatments that would make him wish he was dead for a few more months of life. (the drs said it would come back, anyway, so there really wasn't much of a decision).

    So I am dealing with losing my partner/best friend and trying to keep my job as I will need it! I will not be able to keep my house as the payments are not possible for me to meet alone. SO I am going to have to figure that out, too. But I do know that I have finally come to the place where I will actually have to put my simple living hat on permanently and firmly. I have enough faith that things will work out.

    SO, be sure that you hug your loved ones everyday and show them how much you love them. While you can. Things can happen sooooo fast.

    Sherry
    I may not run with the wind in my hair, but I do get winded.

  2. #2
    Senior Member ctg492's Avatar
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    Thoughts and prayers are with you my friend.

  3. #3
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    Oh Sherry, big hugs to you. I am so sorry.

    You will have a lot to work through in the coming months, and I hope you know we're all here for you whenever you need us.

  4. #4
    Senior Member peggy's Avatar
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    Sherry, I am so sorry. I hope you have a strong network of friends and family to help you get through the coming months.

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    You are in our thoughts. I believe you can walk through the next chapter in your life. Sending you strength for when you need it.

  6. #6
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    I'm praying for you and your family for the strength and wisdom to get you through this difficult time.

  7. #7
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    Oh, Sherry, I am so sorry! My dh died 3 days short of our 31st anniversary. It is so hard.
    Give yourself a little time to absorb all this, then you can start to make a plan. Will you be able to stay in your house for the time being? Or do you have to something about housing now?
    Do rely on family and friends for support.They can be helpful. Let them know what you need! When they ask if there is anything they can do, say "Yes!", and give them a task. It may seem impossible at times to do, but eat well and rest, and take care of yourself. You can't help your dh if you don't take care of yourself. Schedule yourself some breaks, while someone else tends to the household chores, or whatever. You will need to get out and about at times, and you will possibly feel guilty for doing so. But it is how one retains one's sanity in the midst of a world gone mad. Allow yourself time to enjoy a hobby, because you will need that respite, too.
    One thing to think about: home owner's insurance policies sometimes have a provision where if one of the owners dies, the insurance will pay the remainder of the house off, so you don't have to move. Ours did, but dh died about 1 month after that clause expired, so I didn't really benefit from that. But do check it out.
    I'd like to be able to give you some spiritual support, but my head just is not there right now. My mom is in bad shape, and I have to stay mired in the practical, so I don't fall apart and become completely useless. You can get through this; just don't bite off more than you can chew at any given moment.

  8. #8
    Senior Member fidgiegirl's Avatar
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    Big hugs, sissy.

    It's sad times on the boards these last few days.
    Kelli

    My gluten free blog: Twin Cities Gluten Free
    Our house remodel blog: Our Fair Abode

  9. #9
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    (((Sissy))) I am so sorry. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

  10. #10
    Senior Member herbgeek's Avatar
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    I am very sorry to hear this. I wish you and your family strength.

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