Getting out of receiving presents?

[ToomuchStuff]

Anyone ever successfully convince their family not to buy them stuff they don't need, won't use and would rather not store? How did you go about it?

Every year she wants a Christmas list and I keep telling her I don't need/want anything. This year I gave her one item (magazine subscription to one I buy on occasion/not available at the library) and she is complaining that is not enough. I am sorting though one closet, in hopes to put some long sleeve winter shirts in it. It is FILLED with t shirts, she keeps buying at $1 a pop. (thrift store will be happy). She will still give me consumables I don't need (already have 10+ spare bars of soap and 8 deodorant sticks, etc). Just feels like an enormous waste to flood someone with stuff, so they have to take time/fuel etc. to take it to a donation spot. (she won't donate instead for a gift, tried that for a couple of years).

Christmas should be for the grandkids (my nieces and nephews). She still thinks us kids need to be bought for. Feels like walking the Christmas treadmill, just keep walking but don't get anywhere.

[Tradd]

Would you be open to receiving gift cards - favorite restaurant, coffee shop, grocery store? Or consumables - coffee, tea, favorite goody?

Sounds like your mom won't stop, so your best bet might be redirection to cgift cards/consumables?

[sweetana3]

You have two choices:

Complain and argue with her endlessly until you two are not speaking.

Or give her a very clear detailed list of those things you really need. Gift cards for specific stores, grocery, coffee, gas for car, etc. that you know you will use. We buy these for ourselves when we get a big enough discount. What grocery items could she shop for and wrap? Toilet paper, tissue paper, dish towels, pet food, laundry detergent, etc. Make sure you list cash for rent and utilities.

Make sure your list tells her what not to get also so you don't get more soap, etc. I mean she asked for a specific list so go ahead and make it specific.

[goldensmom]

For 30 years I've been asking my mother-in-law to not give me anything but she continues to give me junk, yard sale things she likes, clothes too small or too big or really not me, used or clearanced and ugly. I decided to just take it, say thank you then give or throw it away later. If there is no changing the gifter than change the attitude/actions of the giftee. Make it not a big deal to you.

[iris lilies]

For 30 years I've been asking my mother-in-law to not give me anything but she continues to give me junk, yard sale things she likes, clothes too small or too big or really not me, used or clearanced and ugly. I decided to just take it, say thank you then give or throw it away later. If there is no changing the gifter than change the attitude/actions of the giftee. Make it not a big deal to you.

Exactly, we've got a gifter like that. Fortunately, now DH is on board with throwing it all out. He just comes home from the gifting extravaganza, puts it all on the dining room table, and lets me sweep it all away. In the early days it was depressing because he would haul it all upstairs and jam it into his overflowing closet where he wouldn't touch it for years. Now he's savvy to what this stuff is--useless.

[razz]

Anyone ever successfully convince their family not to buy them stuff they don't need, won't use and would rather not store? How did you go about it?

Every year she wants a Christmas list and I keep telling her I don't need/want anything. This year I gave her one item (magazine subscription to one I buy on occasion/not available at the library) and she is complaining that is not enough. I am sorting though one closet, in hopes to put some long sleeve winter shirts in it. It is FILLED with t shirts, she keeps buying at $1 a pop. (thrift store will be happy). She will still give me consumables I don't need (already have 10+ spare bars of soap and 8 deodorant sticks, etc). Just feels like an enormous waste to flood someone with stuff, so they have to take time/fuel etc. to take it to a donation spot. (she won't donate instead for a gift, tried that for a couple of years).

Christmas should be for the grandkids (my nieces and nephews). She still thinks us kids need to be bought for. Feels like walking the Christmas treadmill, just keep walking but don't get anywhere.

What about giving her the gift of a long list that you enjoy giving to others or other organizations. Towels for humane societies, nice soaps and toothpaste for family/womens shelters, matching toques, mitts and scarves for the homeless etc. Make the gifts to you something that can be shared with others.
She wants to give gifts, it is important to her to do so ... so let her.

[iris lilies]

What about giving her the gift of a long list that you enjoy giving to others or other organizations. Towels for humane societies, nice soaps and toothpaste for family/womens shelters, matching toques, mitts and scarves for the homeless etc. Make the gifts to you something that can be shared with others.
She wants to give gifts, it is important to her to do so ... so let her.

razz, good idea. Shelters and food banks need all kinds of personal care items, so I'm told.

[reader99]

For 30 years I've been asking my mother-in-law to not give me anything but she continues to give me junk, yard sale things she likes, clothes too small or too big or really not me, used or clearanced and ugly. I decided to just take it, say thank you then give or throw it away later. If there is no changing the gifter than change the attitude/actions of the giftee. Make it not a big deal to you.

That's the manners I was brought up with - say thank you and then later dispose of it quietly.

[fidgiegirl]

That's an elegant answer, razz. I like it a lot. Toomuchstuff, I can sympathize with your dilemma. I learned long ago to do like iris lily, goldensmom, reader99 and others . . . smile, take it, and then off to the donation box or garbage it goes. I am lucky to have curbside pickup so if I don't choose to drive it somewhere else, I don't have to. But I can see where it's frustrating not to be heard. My mom is the same way. Lots, LOTS, lots to love about her, but hearing/listening . . . sometimes not so much.

[creaker]

I just try to get folks to hold it down to a minimum, and then everything I don't really want goes to Goodwill or the trash.

I am trying extra hard to come up with small gift suggestions that I would actually use this year, there just isn't much.