I have not replied (or really read until today) to this post, because for me it is so painful. I am being gaslighted by my own daughter whom I've always adored. It happened like the flip of a switch, and I believe now it's due to her newest relationship with her former boss.

She has 3 children whom I have not seen for 20 months and have been ordered (by her) not to contact. My greatest hope at this point is that the older boys will remember me and wish to contact me when they're 18+. They're 17 and 14 now.

She wrote to me last week (after I'd attempted to send a gift to the boys) informing me of what a horrible mother I've been; how selfish I've always been, and ---this really gets me---how I NEVER showed her any affection. Uh, I nursed her until she was 3 yrs old, for crying out loud. I'm not going to go into any defense here; I know I made mistakes, but did the best I could with two very different, yet nearly incorrigible girls--alone. I know I was not a rotten mother. But she is really making me doubt myself and wondering about the veracity of her accusations. There's your gaslighting.

My other daughter is incredulous of the whole thing. She's written her off as a wacko. Actually, I do think she needs mental counseling, but I fear it's really the new-ish relationship. We were fine until he came along. As her boss he pulled some shitty stuff on her which I expressed at the time my worry about her continuing to work for him. He was gaslighting HER.

I've been to counseling; I've been advised to stay away, not contact but not close any doors. Also to concentrate on my own healing and find joy wherever I can and stick to those things. It's my New Year's resolution. To heal and find my way. After her recent email, I went to a very dark place, struggled to sleep for nights. It's getting better.