My frustration is that I work and the housework is pretty much left to me, because he a) doesn't notice and b) when he does, he doesn't care. When I don't work, I don't really mind doing the clean-up because it's better than the alternative.
examples: I absolutely forbid him to wash my clothes because he puts everything in together and my black yoga pants come out with white towel lint. That's one example. Another--he wasn't feeling well the other day and spent the night sweating profusely in the bed. The next day I complained as I was going to bed that I forgot to put the clean sheets in the dryer. He said, "What?? You washed the sheets AGAIN?" (I had just washed them a few days prior). I said, "Yeah, they were covered in sweat!" He said, "But it dries!"
. So, yes, Cathy, sometimes you have to lead them along a little.
But he's a great cook and he does the lawn mowing and runs errands. Plus he's great mechanically, and good at hiring repairmen.
I were entering into a situation with a newly-retired spouse, I would ask them to at least clean up after themselves.