View Full Version : How to convince my girlfriend she does not need to go on pricey dates?
catherine may be tough, but I think she is on the right track.
I did the stay-at-home spouse thing for a while back when I was married and enjoyed it, my husband not being a patriarchal jerk. However, he did turn out to be a cheater and I had to scramble for a bit to get back on my feet and becoming completely self-sufficient once he was gone. While I was happy being at home (being the homebody that I am), I don't think I'd do it again. You really have to be able to trust the other person to have both of your best interests at heart and I just don't have that sort of trust anymore after that experience.
While I do think there's a time for pricey dates when a man can play the part of the gentleman, I don't think they are necessary most of the time, and then should be up to the person who is doing the paying as to whether he/she wants to go on that type of date. It shouldn't be something expected by either party as a regular thing, especially once it's past first-date status and the couple feels more comfortable with each other and things are less formal.
freshstart
10-5-15, 7:46pm
Probably because Kestra isn't burdened by outmoded gender roles.
This.
I found it extremely hard to meet a Match date and have him pay, when I knew flat out I would not be seeing him again, if I was on the fence or if he seemed perfect. So I always offered. Finally, a man I dated for a short time, actually got angry for me always trying to pay half, he said that is his role, I'm making him feel less like a man, blah, blah, blah, he was drunk so some really nice comments about me trying to "make his d*** shrivel up, etc" were made loudly.
So then I started paying more attention to body language and "type" before offering. It's stupid posturing, I don't like feeling indebted to someone I don't know and what does his paying for the whole night out or quite a few nights out "mean" to him? I felt like if I paid, we were on equal footing. With men much more wealthy than I, I was given the menu with no prices on it, so I did not dare offer. My friends could not understand why I would turn down second dates from such men. I want to be on semi-equal footing in a relationship. I did not want to go on dates so fancy, I had to keep going to the Talbot's outlet to find $200 dresses for $10 so I wasn't wearing the same thing all the time. They were perfectly nice, intelligent, it was totally me, that is not the life I wanted for myself if it went long term. One was a cardiologist I had often spoken to through work, and realized when I learned his last name on Match who exactly he was. Nothing "wrong" with him, we just did not share the same values about money and I in no way wanted to be a cardiologist's wife. Especially after hearing how things went with the first Mrs. Cardiologist. (in hind sight, FAIL, he would've recognized in two seconds that I have POTs and would've saved me more than 6 months of trying to find this out and would have the money to send me to NYC or Boston to see the best neuro available, lmao)
When married, I did go part time for a short time. I liked it being home with the kids, I did not like at all feeling financially inferior to my ex-husband, even though he did make more than me when we were both FT. IDK anyone who felt this way when they were PT, is that really such a crazy feeling? I was raised by a dad who spoke often about finances, so this is not just an issue because I am a feminist, that you pull your full weight and be prepared to be 100% independent should a marriage fail. Ex "said" (how nice of him to give me permission) I could stay home full time. No part of me would ever let me do that, no matter how much I loved a husband or obviously, my kids, i could never do that; he could leave, one of us could be ill, etc. I did not want him to be able to hold me "hostage", unable to get a job in my field because I had not been working for years.
The very day I realized staying would be very bad, I called and my boss said there were FTEs available for me to come back FT as soon as I was ready. My lawyer thought I was crazy, I did not have to go back FT and if I did, I would lose alimony. Unless, I was living on the poverty line with 2 kids, I would never take that man's money as alimony.
when I dated the guy I dated for 7 yrs, we were more equally suited, he paid for a lot in the beginning. He started to accept my offers maybe 1/3 of the time. He made more so he tended to pick up the bigger tabs. But there was no feeling of what I described above. Interestingly, it took me a good 5-6 yrs to realize how not on the same page I thought we were about financial planning and saving, he said the right words and he really did think he was doing fine. When dug deeper, saw how often he would just spur of the moment buy a guitar or similar, had an interest only mortgage so he never paid principle and he was allowed to use what he paid in already as a checking account, had stopped contributing to his 401k in his 50s, etc. WTH on the mortgage? You only pay interest and you take what you have paid and use it to pay bills? Yeah, no, I could never live with a man like that either.
It's hard to find someone who you share the same financial goals and values with. I thought I had that with my ex-husband, he was so simple, he had 2 dinner place settings. He lived across the street from work so he ate there, fridge empty, slept in a freaking twin bed in his 40s and was a super saver. But he put it all in cash, stocks scared him, I convinced him about Index funds and we were cruising. But divorce, well, something before the divorce, changed him from being a simple man with few needs into this nutball who made the NYS minimum child support checks feel like a hostage negotiation for years. If someone told me how much unnecessary money he would spend on lawyers (leading to a bankruptcy), that his children had to have the best possible (DD's violin cost 2/3 of my car and he gets her violins at cost, she is not going to Juilliard, she plays to stay in the State Orchestra so she can put it on her college apps, even she says the cost was obscene and not necessary) that he would be 60 with zero equity and sleeping on his LR couch, retirement savings long gone. I would never have believed it, never.
And that is exactly what scares me into being the opposite. My lawyer charges 1/3 of his, he likes going to court over stupid things yearly, (we have had the same judge for 11+ yrs) she's onto him and I win but we have wasted more money on stupid stuff. And we were on exact equal footing at the start of proceedings, split the equity in the house, figure out the NYS minimum for child support and that brought his income down a great bit and mine up a great bit so we were almost going to be in the exact same financial boat. He eventually went on to greatly increase his salary. So if he had stopped suing me, he should've been able to do what I did, buy a townhouse, live modestly and continue retirement savings. He went off the rails and I'd actually feel sorry for him except he is a terrible human and is currently suing me, lol.
I will never again co-mingle money with a spouse. Although, aren't you kind of forced to? Their debt is your debt, too if you divorce or he drops dead? Is the key to not marry?
freshstart
10-5-15, 7:48pm
ah, jeez, it was a day of being practically in a trance, why can I not use brevity anymore? SORRY!
Ultralight
10-5-15, 8:19pm
I have had a few women on dates tell me they treat OkCupid like a free meal ticket. They told me their friends do it too. Obviously that was a red flag. One woman I met told me she spent a year or two meeting a different guy every Friday and Saturday night. She said she did not have much money but still wanted to go out. So she would let them pay her way and pay for dinner. But she'd -- and these are her words -- "let them go d*wn on me and then I'd bl*w them."
She then told me she even "got two STDs from it."
I was like "check please!" No second date there and certainly no night cap.
freshstart
10-5-15, 9:31pm
Who on earth would admit the sex stuff (possibly she was setting you up for what you would get it return for your investment in the date. But then to cop to two STDs from it? OMG
we should have a thread with a contest of who had the worst date ever, the winner gets Penicillin
Who on earth would admit the sex stuff (possibly she was setting you up for what you would get it return for your investment in the date. But then to cop to two STDs from it? OMG
Some people are very sex-positive. And some people don't view recreational sex as anything more than that, and aren't shamed by it. Perhaps she was feeling out his point-of-view?
As to STDs, they happen even with safe/safer sex precautions. (And frankly, I'd assume pretty much everyone out there has herpes of some sort at this point - most of the folks with HSV-2 probably don't even know they have it.) So a frank discussion of one's STD status/history can be an important thing.
Be careful out there. But have fun.
Ultralight
10-5-15, 10:00pm
Some people are very sex-positive. And some people don't view recreational sex as anything more than that, and aren't shamed by it. Perhaps she was feeling out his point-of-view?
As to STDs, they happen even with safe/safer sex precautions. (And frankly, I'd assume pretty much everyone out there has herpes of some sort at this point - most of the folks with HSV-2 probably don't even know they have it.) So a frank discussion of one's STD status/history can be an important thing.
Be careful out there. But have fun.
The STDs scared me off. I don't think there is anything wrong with a woman having her fun though.
I was looking for something long term with someone compatible. She was not that.
People get STDs, it is pretty normal. Though I am still going to avoid it like... well... like the plague.
Ultralight
10-5-15, 10:01pm
Who on earth would admit the sex stuff (possibly she was setting you up for what you would get it return for your investment in the date. But then to cop to two STDs from it? OMG
we should have a thread with a contest of who had the worst date ever, the winner gets Penicillin
That'd be a heck of a trophy! Penicillin gives me hives -- I am allergic! haha
freshstart
10-5-15, 10:54pm
Some people are very sex-positive. And some people don't view recreational sex as anything more than that, and aren't shamed by it. Perhaps she was feeling out his point-of-view?
As to STDs, they happen even with safe/safer sex precautions. (And frankly, I'd assume pretty much everyone out there has herpes of some sort at this point - most of the folks with HSV-2 probably don't even know they have it.) So a frank discussion of one's STD status/history can be an important thing.
Be careful out there. But have fun.
I can see that, in the context of a conversation headed in that direction, or the use of all those apps for people looking for sex that night, people are adults, who cares as long as both parties consent? it's the doing it because she is "paying back" back her dates. That doesn't sound like a positive way to approach sex, that it is a debt she is offering to pay. Unless that gets her off, too.
I agree about STDs, especially HPV, I swear that's practically universal. High hopes for that vaccine, but does not cover all HPV. Women can at least be screened for it, there is no such thing for men.
Unless I was going to have sex that night, I would not bring up STDs on the first date. But if I had one, I would do so in an appropriate time frame so the man has time to think about it but not in the heat of the moment. And I would ask him in return.
with a likely LTR looming, I do ask the guy if he is willing to get screened and I do as well. But that doesn't mean you are home free because of what cannot be screened. No one has ever said "no" to this.
... it's the doing it because she is "paying back" back her dates. That doesn't sound like a positive way to approach sex, that it is a debt she is offering to pay. Unless that gets her off, too.
Not being a party to the conversation, I wouldn't leap to the conclusion that it was "payback", especially given the mutually satisfying (hopefully) activities she mentioned. More of a dessert course, really.
As to screening, I get screened every month or two just because I get exposed to all sorts of icky things at work, you never know. So don't assume an initial screening is the full solution :-(
freshstart
10-5-15, 11:55pm
Not being a party to the conversation, I wouldn't leap to the conclusion that it was "payback", especially given the mutually satisfying (hopefully) activities she mentioned. More of a dessert course, really.
As to screening, I get screened every month or two just because I get exposed to all sorts of icky things at work, you never know. So don't assume an initial screening is the full solution :-(
this is the post: One woman I met told me she spent a year or two meeting a different guy every Friday and Saturday night. She said she did not have much money but still wanted to go out. So she would let them pay her way and pay for dinner. But she'd -- and these are her words -- "let them go d*wn on me and then I'd bl*w them."
I don't think I am making a ginormous leap here that she is "paying back" because she directly is saying she wanted free dates for dinner and then said what she did. As I said, maybe she gets off on this, too. And maybe this is not where she is coming from. whatev, I concede that I do not what is in that woman's brain.
bae, you know I'm a nurse and we have both seen gross stuff, do you really think I thought I was home free being screened once? I know everything cannot be screened and the guy could show me a clean report but be out banging 3 other girls with no protection.
I am Woody Allen-ish sexually, I would run a body through an autoclave if it wouldn't kill them. He has a great quote that fits me to a T, but of course I cannot remember it.
this is NOT it: Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more fun.
NOT it either but an old favorite: Marriage is the death of hope
someday I will actually remember the funny one
Ultralight
10-6-15, 7:38am
The woman I mentioned was a former sex worker too. She stripped and such on camera for a website. So I don't think that "paying back" the guy was that big of an issue. She talked about it like it was a fun, though risky, pastime.
The two STDs she caught were incurables, though not deadly ones. If she had caught the clap a couples times I may have dated her because that is easily cured. But...
The thing that really rubbed me the wrong way about this woman was when she said: "I know you're looking for a long term relationship. I have known plenty of guys like you. And I still manage to convince them to get into the back seat with me."
It was like she did not take my romantic intentions seriously.
For the record too, I bought her spring roll and bowl of pho since it was a first date. haha
Also for the record, I don't think that all "sex-positive" people are like this. I dated a self-identified "sl*t" in graduate school. We had a lovely long term relationship, very intimate; I look back on it fondly. I certainly appreciated all the "knowledge" she brought to the relationship! lol
I'm just wondering, Ultralite: if you imagine yourself in a long term committed relationship with your current partner, do you see this situation changing? How would you implement change after setting a precedent of being responsible for these expensive dates all through your courtship? Or will you always be 100% responsible for providing a social life that you feel you can't afford, and she can? Do you see the present as a test of your interest in commitment and your interest in her, or will you need to adjust your life forever to fit this new spending pattern? Are you ok with that?
Ultralight
10-6-15, 11:06am
I'm just wondering, Ultralite: if you imagine yourself in a long term committed relationship with your current partner, do you see this situation changing? How would you implement change after setting a precedent of being responsible for these expensive dates all through your courtship? Or will you always be 100% responsible for providing a social life that you feel you can't afford, and she can? Do you see the present as a test of your interest in commitment and your interest in her, or will you need to adjust your life forever to fit this new spending pattern? Are you ok with that?
Do I see the situation changing? I dunno... my experience is that I change, while other people do not.
Well, my plan at this point is to cut my corners to afford these dates. If she asks for more dates or for me to foot the bill for other such things I will just say: "Hey, we agreed on this. We're sticking to it."
I don't know if this is a test. I am really just trying to get by on a day-by-day basis. Just keep her happy, ya know?
Yep. It's just that keeping people happy can become a rather unfulfilling full time job if you don't set some rules that work for you. I think it's really sweet and admirable that you're trying to compromise, but - at least for me - asking to compromise my financial goals is a lot more sensitive than compromising in a lot of other areas. That, for me, is like asking to compromise what I want to accomplish in life. YMMV. When I said "do you see it changing", I was referring to this demand that you "be the man" in terms of providing all the cash. No doubt you and your relationship will change in many other ways you can't predict.
Ultralight
10-6-15, 11:28am
Yep. It's just that keeping people happy can become a rather unfulfilling full time job if you don't set some rules that work for you. I think it's really sweet and admirable that you're trying to compromise, but - at least for me - asking to compromise my financial goals is a lot more sensitive than compromising in a lot of other areas. That, for me, is like asking to compromise what I want to accomplish in life. YMMV. When I said "do you see it changing", I was referring to this demand that you "be the man" in terms of providing all the cash. No doubt you and your relationship will change in many other ways you can't predict.
Oh, I don't know if that would change. It is hard to say for many reasons. Keeping a romantic partner happy is really all I know. That is how all my romantic relationships have gone.
From what I gather, she had a couple of exes from when she was young who were unemployed chronically and such. But then she went on to date guys who were well-off, landed gentry.
It's a pretty shallow relationship if you can't express your fundamental position on spending. Eventually, your resentment is going to surface. If she's in it for the long haul, she certainly deserves to know how important money is to you. (It seems only reasonable to me for her to pay her fair share.)
Ultralight
10-6-15, 11:42am
It's a pretty shallow relationship if you can't express your fundamental position on spending. Eventually, your resentment is going to surface. If she's in it for the long haul, she certainly deserves to know how important money is to you. (It seems only reasonable to me for her to pay her fair share.)
I trade my life for money. So it is really my life that is important to me. It is not like I am some greedy capitalist or something.
And I do express my fundamental spending position to her; I have numerous times. It is not like she put duct tape over my mouth.
So we're back to sexual gratification, are we? ;)
Back before i met my husband, I was introduced to someone at a party with the idea that we might hit it off. He talked about his ex-girlfriend and her branching out to embrace her interests, I talked about simplicity and YMOYL and my fascination with living off grid with what I thought was cheerful enthusiasm, it was after all the philosophy behind where my whole life was headed, and after we'd been talking for a while, he scornfully said to me, "so it's all about The Life, isn't it." Ummm ... you say that like focusing on the life I want is a bad thing! Needless to say, we never did get together.
So we're back to sexual gratification, are we? ;)
...r.
That's what I was thinking, but didn't say. It sounds like Ultralite Angler is resentfully trading his hard-earned money for sexual gratification, then complaining here about it. I get the impression that the relationship they share doesn't amount to much--at least on his part. (Please correct me if I'm wrong.) No one wants to live a "simple" life by someone else's standards.
ApatheticNoMore
10-6-15, 1:10pm
The thing is his gf is in a situation that she's going to be alright financially no matter what. She's done well for herself. Sure in her situation she could probably be exceptional, pay off her mortgage quickly etc.. But a 401k, a pension, a house slowly if very slowly being paid off, years of high earnings contributing to social security, I mean she's set no matter what. So I see why she doesn't worry about money ....
That's what I was thinking, but didn't say. It sounds like Ultralite Angler is resentfully trading his hard-earned money for sexual gratification, then complaining here about it. I get the impression that the relationship they share doesn't amount to much--at least on his part. (Please correct me if I'm wrong.) No one wants to live a "simple" life by someone else's standards. Oh, lol, I just meant the thing about the duct tape. I'm not sure I disagree with you ... but I didn't say it! :~)
freshstart
10-6-15, 4:30pm
For the record too, I bought her spring roll and bowl of pho since it was a first date. haha
this struck me as very funny, thanks.
Personally, I'd rather have the money than the sex. :)
Personally, I'd rather have the money than the sex. :)
It's threads like this that make me realize that there are some benefits to being a gay man. All my single friends that want sex don't have to go spend money on dinner for someone (or even themselves). They just log onto one of the geolocation dating apps and find someone nearby and invite them over.
It's threads like this that make me realize that there are some benefits to being a gay man. All my single friends that want sex don't have to go spend money on dinner for someone (or even themselves). They just log onto one of the geolocation dating apps and find someone nearby and invite them over.Personally I can think of nothing more horrifying than having a complete stranger show up at my door for sexual activities. Push my envelope, it doesn't apparently flex all that far. :laff:
I'm pretty sure straight people can do that too. There's an app for that, after all.
freshstart
10-6-15, 6:13pm
I'm pretty sure straight people can do that too. There's an app for that, after all.
the problem for me is I forget which is for which, not that I use them, but it comes up in conversation and it can be confusing when you don't remember, lol
I'm pretty sure straight people can do that too. There's an app for that, after all.
There are, although i would suspect that there's a disproportionate number of men compared to women on them. That would be great for the ladies. Not ideal for the guys.
Well, then again if he marries her, he will be entitled to spousal SS benefits. Considering the discrepancy in net earnings, he might actually significantly increase his ss payout. So the dates can be considered a retirement investment then, LOL!
BTW, the above is very tongue-in-cheek.
Ultralight
10-7-15, 10:48am
Well, then again if he marries her, he will be entitled to spousal SS benefits. Considering the discrepancy in net earnings, he might actually significantly increase his ss payout. So the dates can be considered a retirement investment then, LOL!
BTW, the above is very tongue-in-cheek.
She'd certainly want a pre-nup.
Social Security benefits are not subject to pre-nups. You can claim spousal social security benefits if you are currently married to a person eligible for SS benefits or if you've been married for 10 years and divorced. They don't affect her benefits at all. Obviously, you need to qualify for them, and I am not a lawyer, LOL
Here is the official link: http://www.ssa.gov/planners/retire/applying6.html
Also, I believe these are in addition to your own benefits.
Ultralight
10-7-15, 11:00am
Social Security benefits are not subject to pre-nups. You can claim spousal social security benefits if you are currently married to a person eligible for SS benefits or if you've been married for 10 years and divorced. They don't affect her benefits at all. Obviously, you need to qualify for them, and I am not a lawyer, LOL
I'd never marry a woman for money. I only marry women who successfully pressure me into it! ;)
iris lilies
10-7-15, 11:44am
I'm pretty sure straight people can do that too. There's an app for that, after all.
Much harder to find women, though.
I was skeptical about the Ashley ?Madison business model since there aren't many women who openly declare their desire to participate in an "affair." I thought the whole thing sounded bogus, that few men would actually meetup with women. I figured it was a front for call girls.
I later heard an analysis on NPR that showed that a large percentage of men who were clients of Ashley Madison were manipulated into pay for sex, starting with texting and working their way up to voice sex partners then video sex.
Much harder to find women, though.
I wouldn't know; I aged out of the system. :~)
catherine
10-7-15, 11:56am
I wouldn't know; I aged out of the system. :~)
Me, too! This whole conversation has me so happy that I'm not young anymore, and I'll even go so far as to say it makes me happy that I was brought up heavily influenced by post-Victorian era women (including a couple nuns in that group), and it makes me really happy that I've been totally satisfied for life by my one life partner.
ApatheticNoMore
10-7-15, 12:28pm
I was skeptical about the Ashley ?Madison business model since there aren't many women who openly declare their desire to participate in an "affair." I thought the whole thing sounded bogus, that few men would actually meetup with women. I figured it was a front for call girls.
almost 100% of the few women that were on it were fakes. The odds might be somewhat better with a hook up app but I still wouldn't think they would be good for finding a woman (but it is honest if a hook up is what you want). I'd bet even when women have affairs it doesn't happen that way (via personals), maybe they start slowly falling for that handsome coworker and never mind that marriage .... Ashley Madison did do single people who are really looking for other single people a favor though, it lured some married creeps who would lie about it off regular personals (separated I would consider).
... I'd bet even when women have affairs it doesn't happen that way (via personals), maybe they start slowly falling for that handsome coworker .... .
Guilty! :devil:
ApatheticNoMore
10-7-15, 12:37pm
I have once too (fallen for a coworker - you work closely together for so long, work on the same project day after day, have constant interaction. And yea he was good looking and smart and charming). But I didn't even try for it, I was single, but he was married. I don't know, I suppose if I were the type to try to steal another woman's spouse ...
freshstart
10-7-15, 8:15pm
I think I'm built wrong. In marriage, it just never occurred to me to have an affair, I didn't have a wandering eye even when the marriage sucked deeply. I ended the marriage for other reasons but even in LTRs, I just don't even look or really think about other men (with the exception of famous men I will never obtain, long list, lol). And when I start to notice other men and the relationship is fizzling, I just ended the relationship, it didn't make sense to cheat when we weren't married or living together. Just break up. I do not understand why people who are not married or do not have children together, are no longer attracted to or even love the partner, why cheat and not end it? Is it not wanting to hurt them or maybe a money thing, IDK, it's not for me, I suck at lying.
I do not understand why people who are not married or do not have children together, are no longer attracted to or even love the partner, why cheat and not end it? Is it not wanting to hurt them or maybe a money thing, IDK, it's not for me, I suck at lying.
Well, there's a wide range of motivations, desires and lifestyles out there. The key is communication.
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/5/51/Ethical_slut.jpg
freshstart
10-7-15, 8:59pm
Well, there's a wide range of motivations, desires and lifestyles out there. The key is communication.
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/5/51/Ethical_slut.jpg
agreed. Do whatever you want as long as your partner(s) agree or decide to opt out.
Ultralight
10-7-15, 9:34pm
Well, there's a wide range of motivations, desires and lifestyles out there. The key is communication.
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/5/51/Ethical_slut.jpg
Back in my poly days this was a popular book! My girlfriends and I all read it. Very helpful!
freshstart
10-7-15, 9:43pm
UA, I am picturing you surrounded by a gaggle of ethical sluts at a book club meeting, lol
Ultralight
10-7-15, 9:48pm
UA, I am picturing you surrounded by a gaggle of ethical sluts at a book club meeting, lol
Well, it was more like I bought the book and read it. Then my (then) life partner read it. Then she loaned it to my girlfriend. Then my girlfriend loaned it to my FWB.
Later on my (then) life partner and I shared other girlfriends who read it on their own.
Good times!
freshstart
10-7-15, 10:37pm
I think I would glove up to touch that book, no offense! God, I got married way too young, lol
ApatheticNoMore
10-8-15, 2:05am
God, I got married way too young, lol
maybe it's some type of thing millennial types do nowdays, I don't know. Not the world we were raised in for sure.
I think I would glove up to touch that book, no offense! God, I got married way too young, lol
That's the best line/laugh I've heard all day, well played :-)
boss mare
10-8-15, 11:13pm
Nah... He's too old and broken down Now Buck Branaman... that is someone that I would be interested in ..!Splat!
Unless it was John Lyons. . .
I think I would glove up to touch that book, no offense! God, I got married way too young, lol
I might agree with you depending on whether you're getting the book from the library or a new and clean copy from Amazon...
Nah... He's too old and broken down Now Buck Branaman... that is someone that I would be interested in ..!Splat!
I have to admit, I didn't know who either of these people are. And I'm still not sure about which John Lyons you were referring to. There's a young one that looks quite handsome (labour party TD for Dublin NW) but I'm assuming that's not who you're referring to since there's nothing old and broken down about him...
Brian Simms, on the other hand. I'm ready to move to Pennsylvania since he's way more attractive to me than Nancy Pelosi, my current congressional representative. (and doesn't everyone decide what congressional district to live in based on the attractiveness of the congress-person...) SO and I don't always have the same taste but I suspect that with Brian it would have to be a three-way.
Nah... He's too old and broken down Now Buck Branaman... that is someone that I would be interested in ..!Splat!
John Lyons is the most bow-legged person I've ever seen in my life!
Russell Crowe loves horses....
freshstart
10-9-15, 10:26pm
I had pre-term labor with both kids so spent months in bed. I watched the Charles Grodin nightly talk show, he was so smart and clever and I'd always liked him, Heartbreak Kid, Catch 22 and Midnight Run, I developed the biggest crush ever. More than David Bowie at 13. I always liked older men, I had married a man 15 yrs my senior (and that did not go well), so a 40 yr age difference is really kind of gross and grandpa-ish. Didn't matter, I was besotted, both pregnancies. One night, he was telling a story about an Adirondack hotel he had just stayed at with his much younger wife (skank) and kid, that is very popular. We had stayed there a few times and it was meh. He had the same cranky complaints as me! Sympatico, me and Chuck. One of my ex's bands would play up there on summer weekends and my ex was there, as it turns out, the same night as Charles. I woke him up, "did you meet Charles Grodin? Don't lie, his wife is young and would maybe have wanted to hear the music. Did you get me an autographed picture because pre-term labor sucks, can I have it now?" He said, "I cannot hear about Charles Grodin, we are never watching Heartbreak Kid again, he is barely in Rosemary's Baby, he doesn't write his own show, you think he's so clever....." his ass was sent on it's way downstairs to the couch. Doesn't write his own show??? It might have been the high doses of steroids and hormones but my children had all those really bad Beethoven movies. Coincidence?
boss mare
10-10-15, 1:02am
jp1
John Lyon and Buck Branaman are both horse trainers who give public demonstrations of hard to handle horses. Buck was the consulting horseman on the book and the movie by Robert Redford The Horse Whisperer . Buck had a documentary movie about his life called Buck . John Lyons not longer rides and I believe his son Josh has taken over, but just not as popular as his dad was
Ultralight
10-28-15, 4:12pm
She offered to split the bills from now on.
We'll see what happens...
freshstart
10-28-15, 5:38pm
Score!
to make it feel less like dinner with a buddy, take turns paying if the bills are about the same each time
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