Somebody, somewhere, probably really wants your life

[Zoe Girl]

That is what I was thinking today as I go through this big transition. There are people out there who want this experience I am a little scared of.

And there are people I want parts of their lives.

And the flip side, someone, somewhere, is probably in therapy because of you or having a beer talking about how you make their life difficult. I know who mine are :laff:

[LDAHL]

As I grow older, I am increasingly convinced that using what you imagine other people think as a benchmark for happiness is a major mistake.

[Zoe Girl]

I think this is more about having gratitude and changing perspective than anything else. When I get down on myself for where my life is and where I would like it to be this helps.

[catherine]

I recall a time when my life was far, far from perfect for reasons I won't even go into here, but they include, poverty, instability, and marriage issues. With 3 kids and soon to have another, I was totally overwhelmed and looking for an escape hatch somewhere.

There was an arts center in the rural community we lived in at the time, and at one of the events, a woman acquaintance said hi and then said, "You are so lucky. You are talented, and you have beautiful children and a husband that loves you." It felt like a slap in the face, in a way.. like a wake-up call.

I wasn't thinking I was lucky at the time. And not to minimize the problems I had, which were real, but frankly, she pulled the lens out and allowed me to view my life at a wide angle rather than a microscopic one.

That wide angle has allowed me to keep going and to preserve the relationships I have--including the one with my spouse.

[ApatheticNoMore]

I don't know about want my life, sick of unemployment. But there are times I still appreciate. My boyfriend loves me but I'm not eager (and not doing so) to depend on him even temporarily financially as his job is horrible in horrible ways (really makes the bullying and abuse of my last job small in comparison) and not secure either, so those are rickety beams. So neither of us doing great in career.

The good parts is well one does do a wider variety of things than when employed, these things mostly suck, it's not retirement, but go to meetings in one's field, go to the unemployed support group, etc.. It's not go to the beach, it's mostly ugh, horrible, but it is variety and variety is good in it's ways. Working is deadly dull. I spend a lot more time with various people and I realize that is finite, last time I was unemployed my dad was alive, now he's not, so appreciate my mom and even my bfs mom who I now spend time with!

I suffer anxiety and on and off depression exacerbated (like 1000 times) by unemployment. But I write bad poetry and listen to music like I was 16 and felt this way (and believe me feeling 16 at middle age is not particularly flattering but ...) still I feel more alive than I do when working, no time for even bad poetry when working, no time for emotional or mental processing at all then. No time to appreciate loved ones really. Just no time (yea I was always commuting an hour 1/2 to 2 hours a day then). Mind you: will work for food and all that. I'm just appreciating the situation as it is what it is.

And people might envy my freedom to try a new career, haha euphemism of the century, that is I might be forced to, have to work someday and all you know, and if that's the best way to do so ...

So want my life is kinda ridiculous (though could be worse) but more one sometimes finds redeeming qualities despite whatever despair.

[Teacher Terry]

APN: sorry that you are having such a tough time. I hope you find work soon.

[JaneV2.0]

I always felt the same as you do about work; a lot of jobs are so meaningless as to be soul-sucking, and they're all a terrible time sink. You have my sympathy, Apathetic.