View Full Version : proceeding with the BK
I am in the process of the bankruptcy, can't recall where I left off telling about this. Basically a chapter 13 will address any marital debts where a chapter 7 would not, I do pay something however much less than the original agreement and I get to pay it over time so i can maintain some of my emergency funds. That puts my mind at ease since I also won't have credit for some time. I am pulling together all the information, should have done more of it over the weekend but something about this process wears me out. I am working with a lawyer through my employee assistance plan and he is very reasonable on fees. He also said I can tell my small credit card and dental account what is going on so that I have a chance to pay them after the BK and possibly keep the account. I truly am only doing this for the 2nd mortgage, but it is still difficult.
I had to do a credit counseling course, $15 online as it was. That was depressing. When I put in all my income and very basic expenses they do not add up well, it is a deficit every month even without a car repair or buying clothes, etc. My mom sends some money most every month so I can see why that goes fast huh. I am trying to switch my brain from panic to seeing how many years I have been showing on paper there is no way i can afford to live and I am still here after all. Some magic of generosity and thrift! i kept most of my emergency fund for many years, and used things like tax returns to fill in gaps. It was also a depressing course because the 'counselor' is supposed to online chat with you for 10-15 minutes and it was so obviously just a canned script, I am not even sure there was a human there. I wanted to answer one of the questions in French just to see if there was a human reading. \
That is all, back to work on it all.
Good luck with it all Zoe Girl. I hope that when the BK is complete that you will finally feel one less burden lurking in the shadows waiting to bring you down. Hopefully, as the years go by and your children move on to their own lives, you will find that you can make it on your salary. I'm glad that you are working with an attorney. Hopefully, he will make the process a little easier and more understandable. God's blessings and peace to you!
Well I can already see a major stress, my income went down $6K from last year. I am still standing however! Mostly because of help from my mom, but I had a couple months of alimony left and I worked part time on weekends which totaled the $6K. Dang, that hurts.
I hope you don't feel like you failed. This is just the circumstances of your life at this time and you are doing what you can to get yourself in a better place. You are not alone or the only one in this boat. My BIL ended up being a bankruptcy lawyer. He started out as a real estate lawyer and did a few bankruptcies on the side and over the last 6 years its turned around to where almost 100% of his business is bankruptcy. Its become very much a formula process - you aren't going to have to tell your story 8 times. The laywers and the court know its just a process to get through. I know that locally they use to have bankruptcy court one session once a week. That ended up not being enough and at the height about 3 years ago it was two sessions a day twice a week. I think it's still keeping that pace.
Thank you Float On and Valley, I don'r really feel like a failure it is just hard to keep on working on such a low income ya know. And I would love to move my checking account to my credit union (they are checking to see if my credit has recovered enough from the foreclosure to open an account) but I can't do that.
The stupidest thing, well maybe not stupid, is just that as much as I wanted to leave the suburbs my kids have really not done well here in an urban area. My son is struggling because he really does not have friends and feels invisible at school, therefore misses a lot of school right now. I just feel like we have no friends, no family friends and almost no personal friends. A little bit of money goes a long way to just get out and participate in some things, the kids really don't want to do what is free or cheap and available. Maybe the bankruptcy will free up some money or not, It was just so very hard to see the income $6K lower despite continuing to work really hard. Ouch,
I had to do a credit counseling course, $15 online as it was. That was depressing. When I put in all my income and very basic expenses they do not add up well, it is a deficit every month even without a car repair or buying clothes, etc. Just curious. If you are running a deficit each month, how do you qualify for a Chapter 13 which requires disposable income each month in order to fund the plan?
Weston, I think I cut some corners and stretch to make it first of all. Things like I estimated my water and electricity. Also I have an emergency fund, I have very low payments so I can take those payments out of my fund as I continue to look for a better paying job or part time additional work as needed. I get extra pay for work over school breaks which is another way to stretch it, we did the figures on my basic income without the small extras. I have to do Chapter 13 or my ex-husband could still come back and sue me in addition to my second mortgage, so that is part of the deal but I am okay with it. Chapter 7 does not address marital property or otherwise owing a former spouse.
try2bfrugal
4-29-13, 2:36pm
Good luck Zoe Girl. The chapter 13 sounds like the way to go. Good work on getting things sorted out.
Does your son or family belong to any clubs? Maybe your son could do some clubs at school or volunteer work? Or hobby clubs in the community like astronomy or hiking, or biking or whatever his interests are? We try to do encourage the kids to do clubs at school, volunteer work or hobby clubs as they are usually free or have inexpensive annual membership fees.
Well I can already see a major stress, my income went down $6K from last year. I am still standing however! Mostly because of help from my mom, but I had a couple months of alimony left and I worked part time on weekends which totaled the $6K. Dang, that hurts.
$6K down is a lot. ouch. BK is tough, but I'm convinced you had no other option. I know that you gave it your all to find a way 'round it.
At first glance I thought this post was going to be about opening a Burger King franchise! ;)
dado potato
5-1-13, 5:34pm
I'm sure this is a helluva challenge, Zoe Girl.
Glad you are still standing. My old dad used to say, "It doesn't matter how many times you get knocked down... what matters is you get up again every time."
Be Well.
I must agree with the others. I think you are doing everything right and everything within your power to stand on your own feet. These sorts of legal things exist to help people out -- to help them get the assistance that they need when they need it, and there's no shame in using that system and needing to use it.
Beyond this, I also want to suggest that perhaps your son get into volunteering. I had very lonely teen years, but volunteering made my life great. I volunteered at the hospital and then later at a kid's camp and homework group (during the school year) that was run by the missionaries of charity (mother theresa's nuns). It was a very rewarding experience for me.
It's very common zen buddhist advice: if you are unhappy, volunteer. I think the shakers said it best, though: hands to work, hearts to god. ;)
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