For awhile, I was using a better-designed bottle. That Ball jar pump sounds like a good idea.Quote:
Originally Posted by Float On
Printable View
For awhile, I was using a better-designed bottle. That Ball jar pump sounds like a good idea.Quote:
Originally Posted by Float On
be very glad she isn't roping you into "simple" house projects that she learns about on those shows. My very ill mother watches them all day and keeps an Idea Journal that she shares with her DH who is in a metal back brace contraption from neck to hips and not allowed to bend for over 6 mos. When she hands him the journal one too many times, pages go flying, as do obscenities.Quote:
Originally Posted by Williamsmith
But yeah, that would make me crazy, too.
This is funny. Reminds me of a guy who worked in an office down our hallway - not in our department - and whenever he saw you he'd have to toss in a "have a great morning", or "have a great afternoon", or "have a great evening." So of course if you ran into him 3 times that day you'd get the entire recital. Every day.Quote:
Originally Posted by Float On
I have no idea how many of these shows my mom watches, but they make me want to rip out her TV cable at its root. I'll grant that I don't watch these shows, but I remember watching "This Old House" and "Hometime" and it always irked me that they hardly ever discuss how much the project cost (nevermind the free goods and services they get for promotional purposes). As a result, my mom thinks installing a new light fixture in 90-year-old rental property costs only what it takes to buy the lamp at Menard's. >8) Argghhhh....Quote:
Originally Posted by freshstart
Similarly, that a gorgeous piece of built in furniture can be created by anyone with a hammer and a couple of saw horses. For $25. cow-hi
Call me squeamish, but I get kind of grossed out when I see someone with a urine collection bag dangling by their side while they are walking through the grocery store where I work with food...
There was a paraplegic who happened to be an alcoholic also. He drove around from bar to bar in a van with his wheelchair along for the ride. Well, he drove drunk and did it often. He thought he was kind of untouchable because the only field sobriety tests you could have him perform was possibly the alphabet and the nystagmus gaze which I got pretty adept at but still felt it was kind of hocus pocus.
Anyway, nobody would stop him because if they did and he was drunk, it would require thinking out of the box to deal with him. One night I stopped him. He remained in his drivers seat and I happened to have a new breathalyzer. He failed of course. At this moment while I was standing by the driver door and he seated in the drivers seat with the door open, lifted his pant leg just a little and released the valve on his urine bag. His urine ran out the bottom of his pant leg by the ankle through plastic tubing and right onto my leg and shoes.
He took a ride in an ambulance under arrest for DUI and gave blood at the hospital.
Sorry, your rant reminded me. I had placed that experience in a box way in the back of my mind.
My co-workers won't lock the doors when they leave in the evening. It's driving me crazy. When people are working alone at night you don't want someone to just wander in. Lock the goddamn door. In December when there was just me and one other permanent staff she locked the door. Now that there are 3 people plus a temp (including the original lady) all four of them don't lock up. I'm almost always working a bit later- I shouldn't have to follow them around like a parent. Where is common sense? Today I reminded 3 of them to lock the doors, and nope, still left unlocked. I'm normally quite patient but I want to scream at them. We don't have a boss on site to reinforce proper procedures.
A hammer and a few sixteen penny nails should get the point across rather nicely. Not another word need be said.
as gross as it is to look at, it is hard to hide a foley bag for a man wearing pants. There are leg bags but they don't hold enough for some men who aren't adept at emptying it. Sometimes, the old and sick who have one, just really want to get out of the house, they feel just as awkward as you being seen with it. I've seen some people cover it with a fabric bag. I try to think of it as akin to nursing a baby, you aren't doing it to flash boobage, you're doing it because it's a natural part of life. Of course, some don't care at all, are young and healthy enough to cover it and just don't, or they are dicks about it when pulled over for a DUI.
I have to get a handle on my Dad's grocery spending since I pay half. He spent over $100, was supposed to be buying produce, milk, cold cuts, bread. Our freezers cannot hold another thing. He came home with 5 different kinds of bread and we have nowhere to put them, forgot the cold cuts. He had Jimmy Dean sausage and egg sandwiches which none of us should be eating, especially him. No room in freezer so he sticks them in fridge to be eaten quickly, but neither my mom or I will eat them. And 3 kinds of cookies. A third can of hot chocolate no one asked for or is drinking the first two. He spent $3 on a small bag of plain pop corn. When we have an air popper that we us all the time and it tastes better. The only produce was clementines, my favorite luckily, but no vegetables. When I saw how little he got for over $100, I felt physically sick. Only protein was the Jimmy Dean crap.
I don't know how to fix this, I am supposed to be walking only small amts so I cannot go with him all the time, only quick runs in and out. I circle sales in the flyer and list suggested things to get with an item to make a meal. He always comes home without everything needed for the meal, so he waits a few days and goes back to the store and overspends again. I type up the list so it's not that he can't read my hand writing. I tried to get them to do online ordering and delivery, he hated that and I'm pretty sure that was because he is a diabetic and he likes buying things he shouldn't eat on impulse. I've given up on him ever following the diabetic diet but at least his sugars are tightly controlled through use of an insulin pump. He's 69, if he wants to order his crap online to be delivered, I am not going to stop him, I tried to tell him that but it falls on deaf ears. He bitches about shopping but must secretly like it if he refuses online and goes way more often than we need.
I'm thinking of saying I cannot afford all this excess and also, I am paying half when 3 of us live here. But I don't think morally I should do this because they have helped me on groceries (and the big one- property and school tax) when things were really tight. He never even asks for the 50%, I just do it. Their budget can handle this, so he is unlikely to change. Ugh, I feel stuck. I will not nickel and dime them on who eats what after all they've done for me. I guess this is just a rant.
he's in his chair eating a stinky Jimmy Dean sandwich and I want to slap him silly, lol!
Girlfriend, stop paying half. Right this second.Quote:
Originally Posted by freshstart
Do your own shopping online. If he doesn't like that then offer to do all of the "shopping" online, assuming that's an option.
Yes, I know it will lead to difficult conversations, but this is nuts as you've described it.
I need to send you my DH for a while. He is the ultimate "stick to a list" guy. If it's not on the list, he doesn't know what to buy except for milk, yogurt, and bananas, those are his staples. He wouldn't dream of buying cookies or baked goods because he bakes all of his own stuff, he thinks the store stuff is crappy.
We gotta get you out of there someday!Quote:
Originally Posted by freshstart
Around here, Safeway will deliver groceries. It costs between $10 and $15 depending on how much you buy (cheaper if you buy more), sometimes they discount that. You can get anything including all your frozens, meat, dairy and fresh produce. Amazon Pantry might be cheaper for durable goods, they will ship something like 45 pounds for $6. I don't know if you can get the best savings and deals, but it would be better than spending $100 on breakfast sandwiches.
the plan had good intentions, my kids were close to launch, I wanted less space. They needed a handicapped accessible house, and I wanted to be my mom's nurse. If we were in the same household, it would be easier. We're on opposite ends of the house. I knew going in that they are kind of nuts but as a hospice nurse it was out of the question that I would not take care of her and I understand their brand of crazy. First year was great, DD and I at one end, them at the other. I was working so I was not around crazy 24/7.
Then I suddenly got sick, then sicker. My father lifted me off the floor so many times I cannot count. I could never have lived in my 3 story townhouse, I couldn't do stairs at all. I added up the mileage to MD appts for tax purposes. It turns out my father drove me to 76 appts/tests in the past year! I honestly can never repay the help they gave me. I don't know how I would've managed to sell the townhouse while so sick and find something else that had no stairs and I could have 2 dogs. They saved me.
I just didn't count on the 24/7 crazy and me, God forbid, not working. I had no reason to think that would happen, I was 44 and healthy. It would be mentally better probably not to live here but I still can't drive and can't do a bunch of other things. And I made a commitment to my mother that I will keep even if I don't do all of the heavy hands on care myself (she has a Palliative Home Care team). When my mom passes, IDK what I'll do, my dad would not have the money to buy out my share and my share is not big enough for me to buy a place on disability earnings. I'm kind of stuck but I entered into that willingly, and I'd be fine if I had the break of working. I have to say, (except for the coat closet, lol) they respect my privacy at my end of the house, so it's not horrible here, I shouldn't make it sound that way. It's my own fault for not even thinking about what I would do if I got sick, that was not on my radar at all. They make me nuts, but I am forever indebted to them both. And of course, I love them dearly. Right now, this is my bed and I made it, I don't regret it. I'm too sick to really date and really don't feel like it anyways now, that's the only thing that has not come up. But we've talked about it and they were fine with it, surprisingly. So there's that when I get better. Ideal? Of course not. But then what is?
smacks head, of course I could order groceries online on my own. I'm so enmeshed in it that I don't see the easy answers anymore.
The egg and sausage sandwiches sound like the only semi-nutritious food he eats, at least voluntarily. ;).
Is the household on a tight budget food-wise? If not, I would just contribute and look the other way.
Your parents sound like fine people.
Sorry freshstart. Wish I could do the shopping for you. I'm pretty great at getting $50 to stretch for several homecooked meals. That is the amount we do if someone comes to the church asking for help with groceries. I don't get them cash, I go do the shopping.
they are the finest people, they do so much for others. my mom is mostly in bed now but she still supports by phone all the people who have come through her life needing a helping hand and a listening ear.
they can easily afford what he is buying, it's just me who can't but I need to re-think this a bit because it's my pride that makes me give 50/50 on everything, every bill and it's affecting my budget.
the plan was starting in Jan, at the end of the month, we sit down look at who paid for what and then figure out who owes who. So I'll see how the first month of really looking at my budget and what the outgoing costs were in 2 weeks. They would never leave me hanging over say $50 for food.
Based on what you've mentioned in this thread, it sounds like it will be hard to come up with accurate figures. "Who owes who" seems to be a particularly nebulous number, IYKWIM.Quote:
Originally Posted by freshstart
well, we each took certain bills for the household, those will be easy to even out. Then all grocery and home supplies were charged on credit cards so we can add up how much each spent. That part will probably get sticky, we'll just have to guesstimate as to what seems fair.Quote:
Originally Posted by SteveinMN
My ex is seeking child support and I am working with my lawyer on that, the least he will probably accept pushes me into negative numbers with my budget and my parents know this. I have 12k in the emergency fund to put towards that and I should get the money back in the end according to my lawyer. Because he can't have child support now and then also claim the huge SSDI settlement that will include 2 yrs of back child support. So I will have to wait 18 mos to get the child support I paid back. Never mind, I'm confusing the issue, what I meant to say is my budget is about to take a big hit and I know my father will be more than fair when we talk about bills.
However you figure out the details, your part is 1/3. Not 1/2. Don't let guilt drive you. From what I understand you bought the house together. It's not like you're freeloading off them.
1/3!
you're right- 1/3! we did buy it together so my views should be as valid as theirsQuote:
Originally Posted by Tammy
I say your father has enough on his plate, figuratively speaking, to wrangle with him about the grocery budget. I would just say "this is what I can afford," and leave it at that. It's clear that with his impulse shopping, he outspends you; he probably gets that.
I think you are right. Neither of us are paper and pen budgeters. I use my Discover card to buy absolutely everything to get rewards but also because they put everything into categories for me. I just checkin to make sure I am not overspending in a certain area. This has worked fine for me. He doesn't budget at all, he just lives below their means. So trying to do a budget neither of us want will be a waste of time and frustrating. Offering a set amount is a good idea.
Tomorrow I am bringing up the 1/3 thing, that that is the fairest way to go. I have a feeling I am going to get pushback. But I am prepared! I will point out that I only use 1/3 of the toilet paper so why am I paying for 1/2? I think I better come up with better reasons before the conversation, lol
I wrote down everything I spent in a month, many years ago. At the end of thirty days, I considered the spending categories and shrugged. I've never maintained a budget, or wanted to. I think it takes dedication and perhaps the soul of an accountant to stick with one, though it's much easier now with the appropriate software.
Oddly, I regularly record my food intake in a nutrition program, finding satisfaction in hitting my macros and seeing how close I come to meeting micronutrient needs.
As much as I like and find my house mate to be a great guy, he is here at the house almost 24/7 and it starting to wig me out!!!!!! I thought because he was a med student he would hardly be around, but he is doing some kind of specialized 5th year program of public health classes (many of which he can see on-line anyway, so he doesn't have to go up to campus). I feel a wee bit crowded out of my own place, even though he is pretty much in his room all the time studying. But then I have to remember the positives outweigh the negatives, and for my own sanity, I have to list them out:
Pros: he is paying the majority of my rent
he is pretty quiet
he is a genuinely kind and super-intelligent person
Cons: he is kind of a slob in the kitchen, meaning he does do his dishes but when he cooks anything, he leaves all sorts of crumbs, drips and splatters that he doesn't notice
he is here ALL THE TIME!
hasn't really cleaned the bathroom or bought the TP
And did I mention that he is here ALL THE TIME....
Sigh...it is totally worth putting up with the little annoyances because the extra money allows me to go on my summer trips. On the plus side, he just informed me he will be moving out at the end of April, so I think I will be housemate free for a few months again and then get somebody in for September at the start of the new school year. It can get hard for me as an introverted private person to have someone around all the time like that, is all...
Tammy put it far better than I did.Quote:
Originally Posted by Tammy
This post (and your subsequent admission that you're not a particular fan of budgets/accounting within them) is what led me to believe it would be difficult for you and your folks to come up with an equitable division of expenses. I'm sure you can do it, but there will be many non-monetary issues ready to jump in the way of doing it equitably.Quote:
Originally Posted by freshstart
we're going to have a family meeting at the end of the month. IDK why I thought my dad would balk at 1/3 and not 1/2, my mother says, "of course you will pay 1/3." So that issue is settled. Even if in the beginning we only work on each paying our share of bills like the electric, the taxes, cable, etc, that will be a start. I'm not going to push on the groceries yet I don't think. Get up and running on the bills first.
I know it will never be perfect. All the driving and sitting in waiting rooms my dad has done and he won't let me pay him a penny (I take him out to lunch every few times). Down deep, we all love each other and want to help each other. We rarely ever really disagree on big stuff or have a real argument. They drive me nuts, I drive them nuts. I'm just gonna see how it all pans out.
My daily peeve is sock puppet posters on internet forums, and trolls who take over forums with through domination and snarkiness.
That and icicles, which I am battling on a daily basis.
I mentioned in the January Frugals thread how I was going to save a lot of money on infrastructure for my photography business this year. The reason was too long to put in that thread, but it still <PeterGriffin>really grinds my geahs</PeterGriffin> on how it came about, so I'm posting the reason in Rants.
I recently shot an imminent listing for a real estate agent I haven't worked with before. I sent the seller and the agent links to the image files on my cloud service. I like them. Seller loved them. Didn't hear from the agent; nothing new there.
Last week someone in the agent's office was assigned to get the images onto MLS for listing this weekend. Assistant quickly called the home seller claiming the image files were "all corrupted". >8) The seller called me; neither of us had trouble reviewing the exact same files Assistant was using. Assistant never bothered contacting me about her "problem". Instead, Assistant decided to make the seller clean her house ASAP so she could retake all of the pictures with her cell phone camera and then upload them to MLS. Apparently that's the only way she knows how to do it.
Of course, the pictures look terrible but they will have to be the way people are introduced to an almost-$300,000 house. For the seller's sake, let's hope viewers can get past the squished weird-looking panoramas with their J-shaped walls and mismatched colors. Seller can't believe these are the pictures they're using. I should invoice the agent and see if I get paid (since he didn't use my images)...
One RE agent I know (who takes her own pictures) told me once most agents wouldn't recognize a good picture if it bit them in the backside. I chuckled when she said that but, dammit, it appears she's right. It has been very tough to sell into a market that seems quite satisfied with crummy pictures for all but the multi-million-dollar properties.
Anyway, it has been costing me several hundred dollars a year in insurance, gear, software updates, and more to sell very little. In three years I have yet to see repeat business or even stated referrals from the agents for whom I've shot listings, never mind the cold calls. The sellers I've worked with all love the pictures I've taken. Agents said I did really nice work, too. At the end of the day, though, really good pictures apparently aren't very valuable.
It's time to try something different. I've thought for some time about fine-art photography; I think it's time to give that a whirl. I never figured there would be as much money in that as in real-estate photography. But I won't have to make much to net more than I've made so far in real estate. Disappointing....
I look at real estate a lot on Realtor.com and it is amazing when there are bad photos, includng ones loaded upside down or sideways.
I also think "WTF" when I see an illogical sequence of photos. Like, the first photo is the basement, then the upstairs bathroom, then a closet, then the living room, dining room, and front porch. Makes no sense.
There is a weird filter or lense I am seeing around here, or maybe it is photoshop work, and Ill find some examples so that you, Steve, can tell me what I am seeing. I sort of like it, but sort of dont like it. It looks artificial.
back soon with some examples.
edited to add: I cant find exmles now,of this photo technique I need explained, but when I run across it, I will make a new post.
Or 4 bad pictures of a ratty bathroom that's clearly, well, just a bathroom, yes, we know there's a bathroom, you already said so, but no pix of the outside space or the views at all. Like, maybe I will overlook the fact that this is on a busy corner across the street from a Quicky Mart if only you show me enough pictures of your shower.
Or "photo unavailable." There's no excuse for that these days. Ditto dark, distorted, or multiples of the same shot.
Most realtors feel confident taking their own pictures even if they aren't. They are usually that narcissistic anyway. Plus hey are just like any other business person trying to cut out any costs. Why share commission money with a professional photographer when you can do it yourself. AND.......most realtors give themselves credit for the sale and don't wan to think photos had much to do with it. After all, you can't tell much by pics anyway. So they think.
Now if I am the seller, and there are details laid out in the contract that call for professional photography and I get amateur hour......Im going to start questioning my choice of realtors.
Yeah, all those fauxs pas are what get me. I've had any number of buyers tell me that if the pictures stink, they're not interested in visiting the property. Hard to make a sale when no one looks at the listing. There's actually a funny blog I link to from my Web site: Terrible real estate agent photographs . Fail after fail.
The homeowner can hire the photographer (that’s happened for me a couple of times; I then sell the images to the agent). But in this case even if the seller did hire me on her own, there's still the matter of the crappy cell phone shots now representing the house. But that's hers to take up with her agent. There is a way to update MLS pictures. But if I can go by the number of listings I see in January that show the house in summer, most RE agents don't think that far and most sellers don't think they can ask for a re-shoot. And then everyone wonders why the house isn't selling... >8)
When I started out in this field, that kind of thing presented an ethical dilemma. My job as photographer is to present the property as positively as possible.Quote:
Originally Posted by kib
Sometimes that's flat-out impossible (see Terrible blog, above). But typically I have no problem moving random stuff out of the field of view or arraging shots so that the room can be viewed without a reflection of me in the mirror or without the lights from the Quicky Mart. I take flattering shots like those and realistic shots which include the bus stop sign just past the driveway, the edge of the Quicky Mart parking lot, etc. I give the agent more than enough pictures for him/her to choose which they want (most MLS systems around here will carry 18 pictures per listing) and wash my hands of it. I have yet to be asked to "Photoshop" the sign or crop the parking lot from a picture. I'm starting to be more convinced that the agents look at the images and don't let those little details bother them.
Loved the link, Steve. :D
I do see your point about painting the house in its most flattering light, my friend had a really neat mid century house at the top of a hill, quite unique and Frank-Lloyd-Wrightly, but with a long uphill driveway that was falling apart. The house itself was lovely and the views could knock your eye out, but the agent chose to feature the picture at the bottom of the driveway looking up a rutted catastrophe with the house indistinguishable in the distance. WTF.
My example wasn't the greatest, but I am always very interested in garages, outbuildings, fences, views and other quasi permanent things, I really don't need to see pictures of other people's furniture. I'd be totally fine with shots of the exterior plus a floor plan.
Agent: "They want to pay me 4% commission? I'll give 'em a 4% sale!"Quote:
Originally Posted by kib
My favorite houses to shoot were the empty ones (foreclosed, etc.) because I didn't need to be concerned with refrigerators encrusted with pictures and magnets, rooms overstuffed with furniture, etc.Quote:
Originally Posted by kib
My deal was to talk with the seller and the agent and find out what they thought made the property special -- and then make sure there were good pictures of that. It "grinds my geahs" to see an RE agent go on about a "gourmet kitchen" (which seems to mean it isn't completely walled off from the rest of the house) and then show just one long fuzzy shot of the kitchen from an adjoining room. Maybe people don't need copious pictures of the new boiler and water heater. But if there are four bedrooms, there probably ought to be at least one picture of each of them.
Once an agent asked me to take a picture of the hockey rink down the block from the listing because that school district's hockey team was a state powerhouse and he figured buyers might be attracted by a quality rink so close to home (don't know if he was right but the [upper-bracket] house sold in a month back in 2010, so not bad). At least the rink was mentioned in the description of the property.
Thanks for the link Steve...it got me to laugh out loud on one of the worst days I've had in awhile.
The curb side recycling program here. I had two bags of trash all week, 6 bags of recycling as I got rid of a lot of paperwork and such. I don't get the Everything in same can theory . I feel there is no way someone picks through everything and I spent so much time organizing.