I'm not dead yet!

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Originally Posted by ToomuchStuff

And there ARE times when someone THINKS they are providing help, that they are actually hindering. Examples in my case are my family coming over to "clean and organize", which involved changing where I put things from utensils, to kitchen items that also double as medical supplies. (food service film)
Three different employees, deciding they are going to do the scheduling, and one employee, just doing his own.
Taking bills, OFF of my desk and deciding there is a "better place" for them. I could probably come up with a few more, but this raises my blood pressure enough.

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I try to be very aware of NOT providing unsolicited help. I'm a big researcher, and I raised her to be as well, but I resist the impulse to tell her about articles I've read or great websites. First of all, she's probably already read what she needs to read for herself, and second, I don't want to impose useless information on her or any info that might come across as well-meaning but unwanted advice.

Of course, when you're a mother trying to help a child, that line between helping in a good way vs the bad ways you mentioned is fraught with land mines. So I just stiick to asking her if she needs help, providing my availability schedule-wise, and letting her decide if and when she needs me. And trying to listen more than talk.