Recovering hoarders?

[Tammy]

I couldn't live in certain situations and I'm lucky that I married someone 34 years ago who is pretty much on the same page as me with lifestyle choices and finances. We have a few differences but they are very small in the big scheme of things.

If he dies first, I may never live with someone again. It's a huge risk.

I've often thought that society might be happier in general if everyone had their own little 500 square feet of space. Kids could be with parents for awhile but eventually everyone is autonomous in their own space. Each person chooses to join the family and/or friends on the common areas when they want to. Everyone has their privacy when they want that.

I know - I'm odd. But that would be my dream life.

[Tammy]

Oh ... And to add to the details of my utopia - in additional to separate living spaces -

People keep their own names. They each have their own finances. They each make their decisions on their possessions and activities. Sure they can get married, and kids and grandkids are awesome. But it's all with boundaries and no one owns anyone else in any form.

[Tammy]

I should write a book ... The utopia in our future

[Chicken lady]

Ultralightangler - my daughter is awesome. I adore her. And we both pray that she never needs to move back to my house - or worse, let me move in with her. So there's that...

[JaneV2.0]

Oh ... And to add to the details of my utopia - in additional to separate living spaces -

People keep their own names. They each have their own finances. They each make their decisions on their possessions and activities. Sure they can get married, and kids and grandkids are awesome. But it's all with boundaries and no one owns anyone else in any form.

Sounds like a perfectly good plan to me...

[Kestra]

Oh ... And to add to the details of my utopia - in additional to separate living spaces -

People keep their own names. They each have their own finances. They each make their decisions on their possessions and activities. Sure they can get married, and kids and grandkids are awesome. But it's all with boundaries and no one owns anyone else in any form.

Your dream life sounds pretty good to me. I don't need all 500 sq ft though. Around 200 would be plenty for me.

[Chicken lady]

Sharing something on thought process/progress.

Last night I refilled the feed bins. It goes like this: open feed, pour into bin, secure lid, throw way non-recyclable plastic bag including string that held bag closed. And I realized, I don't know how long I've been doing this! And I don't have to give myself a pep talk anymore!

Because it used to go: open bag. Carefully wind string onto string ball for future use, pour feed into bin, secure lid, fold bag neatly and stack with other bags in giant bag pile in barn.

I still have one ball of string the size of a baseball. And I have been throwing away the previously saved bags but there is still a small (and shrinking) pile in the barn. (small = not sure I could get them all in one trash can, but maybe)

[Chicken lady]

This week is our county fair. I entered a lot of antique items in the show that was judged today. There are no specific entry fees, just a blanket exhibitor fee that also gets you into the fair all week, so I saved $10 compared to daily passes.

Plus there are premiums, so with antiques and home and garden, I usually pay for my pass plus a bit for treats.

They change judges every year, and unlike some of the other categories, you can just keep bringing your antiques every year. So I brought some that were also shown last year. A couple won last year and didn't even place this year, and in a couple of cases I found myself thinking " hmm, I can get rid of that now." instead of " maybe next year."

I actually find this pretty astonishing.

I am also becoming aware that another woman I know through 4H is a hoarder and that it is starting to negatively impact her kids, who are about ten years younger than mine. They have 48 rabbits at fair. More at home. The club was talking about making the banner and how they had tons of materials because the house was full of anything you could imagine. I want to reach out to her, but I am trying to figure out where to start. I think the rabbits are going to be the crisis point. Last year they had 5. I'm thinking about starting the conversation by talking about the antiques (which came mostly from my grandmother's house) and shifting to my family and our hoarding issues. Maybe if anything sounds familiar she will reach out if she decides she needs to change.

[Chicken lady]

Oh, I also got reinforcement - I took some of the dolls from my doll collection and they all won first place. So I am enjoying them at home, sharing them with others, and collecting small dividends. I'm not sure if this is good for me or bad for me.

[Ultralight]

This week is our county fair. I entered a lot of antique items in the show that was judged today. There are no specific entry fees, just a blanket exhibitor fee that also gets you into the fair all week, so I saved $10 compared to daily passes.

Plus there are premiums, so with antiques and home and garden, I usually pay for my pass plus a bit for treats.

They change judges every year, and unlike some of the other categories, you can just keep bringing your antiques every year. So I brought some that were also shown last year. A couple won last year and didn't even place this year, and in a couple of cases I found myself thinking " hmm, I can get rid of that now." instead of " maybe next year."

I actually find this pretty astonishing.

I am also becoming aware that another woman I know through 4H is a hoarder and that it is starting to negatively impact her kids, who are about ten years younger than mine. They have 48 rabbits at fair. More at home. The club was talking about making the banner and how they had tons of materials because the house was full of anything you could imagine. I want to reach out to her, but I am trying to figure out where to start. I think the rabbits are going to be the crisis point. Last year they had 5. I'm thinking about starting the conversation by talking about the antiques (which came mostly from my grandmother's house) and shifting to my family and our hoarding issues. Maybe if anything sounds familiar she will reach out if she decides she needs to change.

Reaching out to another hoarder is a bold move.

A friend intimated to me last night that he is a hoarder. He is older guy, in his 50s. He apparently hired a mutual friend (a woman in her 40s) who runs an organizing business of some sort. I thinking that she is going to help him, or at least she thinks she is and intends to. He acted like he wanted some help.