Recovering hoarders?

[Chicken lady]

Well, if you can be as kind to him as you are being to me, you could be a lot of help just to talk to.

[Ultralight]

Thanks. My intention is to play it by ear and see how things go with the pro-organizer. I am not sure how, but I picked up the vibe that he had just now, for whatever reason, realized he has a problem on his hands. So I will be approaching this especially delicately. He knows I am an "extreme minimalist." I could definitely see him poking around and asking questions of me in the near future.

[Ultralight]

Very interesting article on hoarding: http://www.vox.com/2015/7/22/9005961...k-im-a-hoarder

[Chicken lady]

The organizer can help him find an approach and work through his stuff. What you can do is recognize how hard it is and give him positive feedback on his progress and maybe resources the organizer doesn't have - like alternatives to whatever he tends to accumulate: "I'm afraid to get rid f xyz because I might need it." "I found I didn't need xyz because I could use/borrow/share..."
"my kitchen is overwhelming, but I fee like I need all these things to cook.". "this is how I cook with only [limited collection of kitchen implements]" etc.

I am very excited - my recycling program just started accepting lids! So I can dump the basket of lids i collect for my rare trips to whole foods into the recycling bin this week, and then, since I don't love the basket, I can set it aside to fill with goodwill items and then drop it off, and I will have an empty space on the shelf in my laundry room and I can move the little bin of sweater drying rack supports off the dryer. Which will hopefully be a catalyst for getting all the other stuff that probably shouldn't even be in the laundry room off the dryer. The plastic dishpan that holds used cleaning rags/cloths until I run that load can go on the dryer instead of the floor. I'll be less likely to leave other stuff on the floor, the floor will be easier to sweep, and suddenly I have a clean laundry room thanks to lid recycling! You can be the guy who says "do you know we now have lid recycling?"

[pinkytoe]

The Vox article is really interesting. I love this line:

I dream of casting off this house and its contents like a shell I've outgrown

[Ultralight]

The Vox article is really interesting. I love this line:

But she wants a bigger shell to fill with more stuff... :/

[Chicken lady]

I think she may be in denial about how she scored on he diagnostic questionaire. I took it and even after huge improvements, I qualify. I would say for example: if you have to play pile tetris to use the table almost every time you want to eat and your spouse is constantly tripping over a laundry basket at night because there is nowhere to put the laundry, the use of your rooms is impaired. I think she might not. Also, if she feels no distress about disposing of her stuff, why doen't she? Etc.

[Ultralight]

I think she may be in denial about how she scored on he diagnostic questionaire. I took it and even after huge improvements, I qualify. I would say for example: if you have to play pile tetris to use the table almost every time you want to eat and your spouse is constantly tripping over a laundry basket at night because there is nowhere to put the laundry, the use of your rooms is impaired. I think she might not. Also, if she feels no distress about disposing of her stuff, why doen't she? Etc.

1. Those are really good points. I got that vibe too but could not really articulate them like you just did. Very helpful!
2. It was like, sometimes she was in denial, like you explained; sometimes she was eerily honest though, like when she said her collections will run amok and all bets are off when her kid eventually moves out.
3. I wonder... I really wonder... if she is going to reflect on what she wrote, perhaps go back and read it a few times, and then admit to herself the things you pointed out about her denial.

[rodeosweetheart]

Ultralite, great article, really sad.

We had another hoarding thread not to terribly long ago (last couple of years, anyway) and there were great posts on this subject, including two wonderful books about the psychology of hoarding. I bought them both--they were excellent, and really compassionate and really explain the psychology of hoarding to a t. I will never look at hoarding the same way, and I recognize it's a continuim, and I definitely have those tendencies and am coping with them and the process, how we relate to the objects that come into our lives.

This was one book:
Stuff: Compulsive Hoarding and the Meaning of ThingsJan 4, 2011
by Gail Steketee and Randy Frost

I think this might have been the other, not sure:
Digging Out: Helping Your Loved One Manage Clutter, Hoarding, and Compulsive AcquiringNov 1, 2009
by Michael A. Tompkins and Tamara L. Hartl

[Ultralight]

Ultralite, great article, really sad.

We had another hoarding thread not to terribly long ago (last couple of years, anyway) and there were great posts on this subject, including two wonderful books about the psychology of hoarding. I bought them both--they were excellent, and really compassionate and really explain the psychology of hoarding to a t. I will never look at hoarding the same way, and I recognize it's a continuim, and I definitely have those tendencies and am coping with them and the process, how we relate to the objects that come into our lives.

This was one book:
Stuff: Compulsive Hoarding and the Meaning of ThingsJan 4, 2011
by Gail Steketee and Randy Frost

I think this might have been the other, not sure:
Digging Out: Helping Your Loved One Manage Clutter, Hoarding, and Compulsive AcquiringNov 1, 2009
by Michael A. Tompkins and Tamara L. Hartl

Rodeo: Because my parents are both hoarders (Dad is an instrumental hoarder; mom is a sentimental hoarder; both are animal hoarders) I have read both those books, and others. You are right! Great books, very compassionate in their tone. But they do take very serious the issue of compulsive hoarding.