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Thread: Recovering hoarders?

  1. #111
    Senior Member Ultralight's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by catherine View Post
    I'm going to a wedding on Saturday--my cousin's daughter. I don't know her well AT ALL, but she's registered at Bloomingdale's and I noticed she picked a fine china pattern (I'm surprised brides are still doing that. I'm tempted to give her a place setting but OTOH,
    a) I hardly use mine, so I hate to give her something that she'll come to learn she isn't going to use much either.
    b) She's moving to NOLA in November, so why would I give her something fragile that she needs to move?

    My husband says money is too impersonal and it's nice to give something people remember you by. So I'm thinking either a gift card to Bloomingdale's which she could use once she moves, or I'm also thinking of a gift certificate to a nice restaurant in New Orleans that maybe she and her husband would enjoy when they're exhausted from moving + a small unique household gift from a local artsy gift shop.

    Or money.
    I say give them money, impersonal as it is... It is still easier and most flexible for everyone involved! Just tell her: "I really care about you. So I want you do do something nice for yourself! Here is some cash!"

  2. #112
    Senior Member iris lilies's Avatar
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    Yes, cash is great as a present, especially as they are moving.

  3. #113
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    Give money!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They have a wedding, honeymoon and a big move coming up. I guarantee it will be more useful than some trinket that they will not need, use, or keep and have to move or dispose of.

    I have seen literally thousands of wedding presents in our years of garage sale shopping. Doesnt even matter if personalized.

  4. #114
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    The great steak knives we got as wedding presents were kept unused and many years later regifted to someone who ate steak.

  5. #115
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    Quote Originally Posted by sweetana3 View Post
    The great steak knives we got as wedding presents were kept unused and many years later regifted to someone who ate steak.
    Haha! I don't eat steak, but I find a steak knife is good to peel an mango with!

  6. #116
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    Sometimes it's hard to be on both sides of the view.

    I may have mentioned that my uncle is the most afflicted hoarder in the family? My grandfather owned a lot of property in my hometown. Much of it is now owned by my uncle and mother. My uncle can't seem to part with any of it. My grandparent's home has been on the market for two years (it's a minor miracle that mom got him to list it.).

    The original asking price was absurd, but he has slowly come down, fighting all the way.

    They finally have a serious offer. It's from a young family with ties in the area who apparently love the house just the way it is. (my grandmother had a distinct style.). After several days of back and forth, their final offer is $4,000 less than my uncle told my mom he would accept. He has to split it with my mom, so he is going to not sell the house over $2,000.

    When I think of never going in that house again, it makes me sad. But I was there when we were cleaning it out and now I have mental pictures of the house as a staging area that are more recent than my memories of all the years my grandparents lived there, and I wish I didn't.

    I kind of want to call and beg him to sell the house.

  7. #117
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    He took the offer! My mom met with him this morning, and I don't know what she said, but he took the offer. She says not to uncross my fingers until the sale actually goes through, but I am just happy he agreed! I'm feeling really hopeful.

  8. #118
    Senior Member iris lilies's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chicken lady View Post
    He took the offer! My mom met with him this morning, and I don't know what she said, but he took the offer. She says not to uncross my fingers until the sale actually goes through, but I am just happy he agreed! I'm feeling really hopeful.[/QUOTThat is great! I was going to say that if we're your mom, I'd cut my portion and give him the $4000. But likely he would not have wanted anyone to "steal" the place.
    we are talking over on another site about true market value, and most people just are not realistic about it. The real estate company has carried that listing, investing money to market it, so I'm sure they are happy to get something from this deal.
    Last edited by iris lilies; 8-25-15 at 6:50pm.

  9. #119
    Senior Member bae's Avatar
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    Here's another thing to consider about hoarding...

    Fire/rescue people hate hoarder structures. They are insanely dangerous to operate in during a fire. The SOP when encountering a hoarder house is increasingly "everyone withdraw ASAP, we're going to protect nearby structures and let this house burn."

    http://www.firerescue1.com/videos/or...load-structure

  10. #120
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    Quote Originally Posted by bae View Post
    Here's another thing to consider about hoarding...

    Fire/rescue people hate hoarder structures. They are insanely dangerous to operate in during a fire. The SOP when encountering a hoarder house is increasingly "everyone withdraw ASAP, we're going to protect nearby structures and let this house burn."

    http://www.firerescue1.com/videos/or...load-structure
    I check the news almost every day for news on compulsive hoarding. And almost every day there is a story or two about a hoarder whose house caught on fire. Fire fighters and the neighbors of the hoarder usually go on record with the media talking about what a fire hazard -- and public safety hazard -- these hoarded houses are.

    This is something I worry about at my parents' house with the giant piles of mail, paperwork, and clothing all over the place. Couple that with the fact that my parents heat their house with those little propane tanks (yes, the ones most people attach to their grills in the summer) and you're talking major fire hazard... or worse.

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