that's all that matters and good for you!Originally Posted by Chicken lady
that's all that matters and good for you!
Heck yeah!!!
If once the plastic cup has been extracted from the earth, it is used 17 times, instead of thrown away and replaced by a newly extracted from the earth cup 17 times, then you have in fact reduced the wastage. If you simply add 17 cups to the closet, then no, the wastage has not been reduced. The hoarding in this case is caused by inability to get the cups back into use coupled with faith that that can happen.
you are out of parallel with your food analogy. The amount of time and energy spent focusing on food is not changed by wether the focus is on healthy food or junk food. In the food case I would argue that healthy food probably requires more time and energy, as junk food is often easily picked up, but the reward is greater. The eating is different, the food is different, but yes, it is just another kind of focusing.
You can never "turn off the aquistion valve". Your bread will come in a bag, so you will have to make a decision about what to do with the bag. Or you will have to go out of your way to the bakery that sells bread without bags, and bring a bag, or carry your naked bread home unprotected. If you are "focusing on not hoarding" throwing that bag away, or recycling it, is going to take a lot more mental energy than mindlessly stuffing it in your kitchen drawer. In fact, it will probably take more time as well.
today I picked up a goat, and the goat guy gave me a plastic bag of feed so I can change his food over slowly. When the feed is gone I will have an empty plastic bag. Go ahead, focus on raiding weasels. The weasel raising is guaranteed to bring stuff into your life.
in fact, having a relationship with your father brings stuff into your life. One of the things that clearly pisses you off is that you cannot turn the valve off without giving up the relationship.
stuff happens.
You know, I don't think minimalism has to be focused on stuff. I think minimalism is focused on stuff when one feels a need to be a guard at the gate with a sword attempting to turn of the valve. I think minimalism stops being about stuff when one can just stand in the inevitable flow of stuff, not even noticing it passing by except to occaisionally pick up that which one wishes to use and to return that which one has no further use for to the flow.
that is a healthy attitude toward stuff. And I think that is what recovery from hoarding will look like. Except the minimalist is going to keep everything in his pocket, and someone like me is going to be holding a big box (ok, bigger than a box, I'm being figurative anyway)
My son called us on face time last night. He has been sighing about the amount of stuff his gf has (ironically both of my grown children have chosen partners who have "a lot" of stuff. - although in both cases the stuff has been intensified by premature inheritance - one father died and the other walked out, both mothers downsized immensely and moved. So you have millennials with pianos, full sets of bar ware, tools, and antique living room sets)
anyway, he walked us around the new apartment and showed it off. He was really happy. Previously they have been living in "we can afford this" housing. Now he has a really good job, and she is also working, so "we can afford this" has changed - overnight they are middle class. The apartment is 900 sq ft with a one car plus garage. He said "our apartment is finally the right size! We have unpacked everything and put it away and I can come home without having stuff everywhere."
dh said "that has never happened with us." And he looked at me somewhere between frustrated and sad.
today I am feeling discouraged. I'm working so hard and I still have so far to go.
You've come so far! That elephant is getting eaten. Hugs.
well, remember that your son (apparently) is happy in a clean and spare room, you are not. So your house wont look like his house.
I have been on the phone with my mom a lot today. She and my uncle are starting the clean out of the beach house my grandparents built when my mom was little. It's going to be sold. Which is hard for everybody. But we don't Ho there much anymore, the taxes are high, the upkeep us difficult, and honestly I end up crying every visit because I miss my grandparents.
anyway, as I requested, I get my great grandparents table and chairs for my new dining area, and the fountain for our entryway.
after talking to my mother at length, and saying "no" to a lot, I also get:
a mirror, a child's rocking chair, a lamp, two 3x5 cross stitch pictures, a box of paperdolls, a plastic lunch box, a ceramic chicken dish, and possibly some sheets, some pillows, and a painting. The paper dolls are going in the recycling. I don't actually want them, but my uncle insists that I take them because my name is on them.
they haven't done the garage yet.
My uncle. I love him very much, and he is the person I don't want to become. Periodically my aunt threatens to leave him because she just can't deal with the stuff anymore. My cousin is an only child and has made me swear that when the time comes, I will help her clean out the house.
as I was talking to my mom today, I could hear my aunt in the background, upset because my mom had left the goodwill pile from the second floor in the living room instead of taking it right to her trunk, and my uncle was sorting back through it and taking things out.
Iris lilies, cross post.
My son's apartment is nice. I would like it there. They have lots of pictures and throw pillows and accent rugs, and books, and he even has a collection of cat things on his dresser and a stuffed snowman in the recliner. What he doesn't have is boxes on the floor and things piled on the coffee table or his desk or the chairs or stashed under the end tables, and clothes hanging on furniture.
Your son's apartment sounds wonderful, good for them that they have found their "right size."
And you are working on yours, your addition is giving you the "right size" that you have needed for a long time. You have many varied activities, all of which need space in your living environment. Getting the scrapbooking corner together is an important step, just like going through the pottery molds was. As you make a real place for everything, it will be easier and easier to see and deal with the excess.
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