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Thread: The Daily Peeve / Rant

  1. #2151
    Senior Member catherine's Avatar
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    DH and DS had a conversation with my dear BIL yesterday. We very seldom hear from him out there in sunny San Diego, where apparently you don't need a job to be able to spend a lot of money. This is a vent... as DH told DS: let's push a few of Mom's buttons...

    He left NJ April 16 with $90k. He STILL doesn't have a job, and I know it's because he has put very little effort into it. His friend, who encouraged his move out there, actually drove him around to 7 golf courses job-hunting. If he hadn't driven him, BIL wouldn't have done it. When I called him in May to ask him about the job situation, he told me he's waiting for my son to edit his resume... this is the type of thinking that I've lived with for many years now.

    I heard chilling details:... his friend won't talk to him anymore. His other friend, whose ex-wife BIL came on to not-very-discreetly, won't talk to him anymore. His bartender and all the barflies thinks he's rich (read: big tips. big shot. paying for rounds, etc.). He doesn't want to talk to me because I'm the "bad guy" who will only ask him about his work situation.

    I see about 12-18 months of this behavior before he has another nervous breakdown because he'll, once again, be broke. No job. No SS credits to speak of. No money. No home.

    Yes, this is a rant, but it's also a fear for him and his passive self-implosion. Such a waste. I think of that money, and how my MIL stood on her feet for hours and hours for decades to earn it, one crappy 9-5 day at a time, at near-minimum wage as a retail sales clerk, and this is what it has come to.

    "Them that's got shall get. Them that's not shall lose."
    "Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it--every, every minute?" Emily Webb, Our Town
    www.silententry.wordpress.com

  2. #2152
    Senior Member iris lilies's Avatar
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    Ah. I was wondering how the BIL situation was. It’s as bad as it could be, I guess.

  3. #2153
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    I'm sorry to hear it's come to that, expected as it was.

    Does he qualify for ss at all? Something is better than nothing. How old is he?

    It doesn't sound like there is much you can do.

    When I hear people say, it's only money, or act like people are money grubbing and coarse because they pay attention to money, I think of stories like this, of your mil working so hard and leaving money for her kids, and then this happening.

    Such a deep disrespect for someone else's life energy, and for his own, too.

  4. #2154
    Senior Member catherine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tybee View Post
    Such a deep disrespect for someone else's life energy, and for his own, too.
    Absolutely.
    "Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it--every, every minute?" Emily Webb, Our Town
    www.silententry.wordpress.com

  5. #2155
    Senior Member rosarugosa's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear this Catherine and hope he doesn't end up on your doorstep.

  6. #2156
    Senior Member Teacher Terry's Avatar
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    Time to apply for SSI for poor people and low income senior housing.

  7. #2157
    Senior Member catherine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Teacher Terry View Post
    Time to apply for SSI for poor people and low income senior housing.
    After living in a $450k house in a desirable suburb for $350/mo and charging $15/lb brie to his mother's Discover card and running to the convenience store every morning for coffee and a $5 copy of the NYT rather than making his own coffee and looking up the news online, he is going to crash and burn. It will not be pretty. As DS said, it's sad.
    "Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it--every, every minute?" Emily Webb, Our Town
    www.silententry.wordpress.com

  8. #2158
    Senior Member iris lilies's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Teacher Terry View Post
    Time to apply for SSI for poor people and low income senior housing.
    How does Catherine’s brother-in-law qualify for SSI?

  9. #2159
    Senior Member Teacher Terry's Avatar
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    SSI is for poor people that don’t qualify for regular Ss and it’s a small amount.

  10. #2160
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    Quote Originally Posted by catherine View Post

    I see about 12-18 months of this behavior before he has another nervous breakdown because he'll, once again, be broke. No job. No SS credits to speak of. No money. No home.
    Please tell us you're committed to your life and will NOT allow him to move back in with you. Enough is enough.

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