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  1. #31
    Senior Member rosarugosa's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BikingLady View Post
    IDK, Mom always said never wanted kids to take care of her. Went to every single free lunch at new retirement home, assisted living homes, every old age lecture at every luncheon there was. See a pattern free lunch. In the end both parents stayed in the house till the terrible ending 7 years apart. I ended up being the ONLY one to do anything, sibling no where to be found. It was pure h*ll for me and me having obligation issues made it worse.
    I am just healing and the feeling of resentfulness is fading. I know mom never planned it this way. But I hope I can learn and remember these events and save my sons from the pain......IDK can we?
    Didn't you have to travel crazy distances to take care of your folks, or do I have that wrong?

  2. #32
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    Scott Nearing chose his end of life. He stopped eating and drinking and 3 weeks later died at home with Helen at his side.

    Yes, this is an option for all of us at any time.

  3. #33
    Senior Member iris lilies's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gardnr View Post
    Scott Nearing chose his end of life. He stopped eating and drinking and 3 weeks later died at home with Helen at his side.


    Yes, this is an option for all of us at any time.
    I don’t have the strength of mind to do this.

  4. #34
    Senior Member Teacher Terry's Avatar
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    That’s a slow, awful way to die. I would choose something quicker if physically able.

  5. #35
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    The official Nearing version of how Scott died differs somewhat from an account by their neighbor, who said that at some point, Helen put him in a nursing home, but he was able to leave. But I don't think it was a clearcut and heroic as the official version makes it sound.

    Poor guy, most people stop eating near death, so it's a pretty natural process. I would never give a loved on a feeding tube and feel people should be allowed to die a natural death.

  6. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by rosarugosa View Post
    Didn't you have to travel crazy distances to take care of your folks, or do I have that wrong?
    Yes that was Mom, I was in TN and parents in MI. I refer to those times as the Crazy Train! 71,000 miles me and my dogs in just over a year. Dad then lived alone and I commuted from one side of MI to the other so many times each week trying to do it all. So when the nursing home was needed I found one acceptable 45 minutes away....the second Crazy Train. No lie I had to be there for PT 5 days 6 weeks straight, I had the 6 week old granddaughter to care for and packed her up with me. And all the Lawyer stuff that almost killed me.Then Covid lockdown after all that, I was outside the window in the blazing sun all summer. Can you tell I am the ultimate "I can take care of it all fool"!
    All that aside I am thankful my dad got to see his only great grand baby! It was almost comical me lugging all the baby stuff in and changing her on his bed, priceless.
    So those are the times that a bike did not work

  7. #37
    Senior Member rosarugosa's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BikingLady View Post
    Yes that was Mom, I was in TN and parents in MI. I refer to those times as the Crazy Train! 71,000 miles me and my dogs in just over a year. Dad then lived alone and I commuted from one side of MI to the other so many times each week trying to do it all. So when the nursing home was needed I found one acceptable 45 minutes away....the second Crazy Train. No lie I had to be there for PT 5 days 6 weeks straight, I had the 6 week old granddaughter to care for and packed her up with me. And all the Lawyer stuff that almost killed me.Then Covid lockdown after all that, I was outside the window in the blazing sun all summer. Can you tell I am the ultimate "I can take care of it all fool"!
    All that aside I am thankful my dad got to see his only great grand baby! It was almost comical me lugging all the baby stuff in and changing her on his bed, priceless.
    So those are the times that a bike did not work
    Wow, Crazy Train is right (also a really good song). A bike definitely would not have been up to the job for those scenarios!

  8. #38
    Senior Member Teacher Terry's Avatar
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    Biking lady, I could have done the driving for parents but no way with a baby. I can’t even imagine. You are awesome!

  9. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by Teacher Terry View Post
    That’s a slow, awful way to die. I would choose something quicker if physically able.
    Medical research is 3 weeks.

    I watched Mom do it frankly over 7 weeks dying of her bladder cancer. (I won't talk about the malpractice that led to this rapid diagnosis to death). 3w before death she was perhaps eating 300cal/day? She lost her appetite quickly. A medium egg and half slice of toast would not result in a clean plate (that is what she asked for each morning).

    She was not in pain. I think when there is no desire to eat or drink, the mental piece doesn't kick in like it does for those of us not going through it and how we perceive it. She asked for an Ambien each night so she could sleep a full night.

    It was the same with Dad 13y before Mom.

  10. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by Teacher Terry View Post
    Biking lady, I could have done the driving for parents but no way with a baby. I can’t even imagine. You are awesome!
    Crazy is better description!

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