DH and DS had a conversation with my dear BIL yesterday. We very seldom hear from him out there in sunny San Diego, where apparently you don't need a job to be able to spend a lot of money. This is a vent... as DH told DS: let's push a few of Mom's buttons...

He left NJ April 16 with $90k. He STILL doesn't have a job, and I know it's because he has put very little effort into it. His friend, who encouraged his move out there, actually drove him around to 7 golf courses job-hunting. If he hadn't driven him, BIL wouldn't have done it. When I called him in May to ask him about the job situation, he told me he's waiting for my son to edit his resume... this is the type of thinking that I've lived with for many years now.

I heard chilling details:... his friend won't talk to him anymore. His other friend, whose ex-wife BIL came on to not-very-discreetly, won't talk to him anymore. His bartender and all the barflies thinks he's rich (read: big tips. big shot. paying for rounds, etc.). He doesn't want to talk to me because I'm the "bad guy" who will only ask him about his work situation.

I see about 12-18 months of this behavior before he has another nervous breakdown because he'll, once again, be broke. No job. No SS credits to speak of. No money. No home.

Yes, this is a rant, but it's also a fear for him and his passive self-implosion. Such a waste. I think of that money, and how my MIL stood on her feet for hours and hours for decades to earn it, one crappy 9-5 day at a time, at near-minimum wage as a retail sales clerk, and this is what it has come to.

"Them that's got shall get. Them that's not shall lose."