My MIL used to say, "We were poor but we didn't know it." She never felt self-pity either, and, like Alan, she grew up frugal, resourceful, pragmatic, and grateful as a result of her upbringing. I don't feel sorry for Alan at all. It is apparent that he was poor in material comfort but rich in love. You can get by without material comfort. I feel sorry for the ones rich in material comfort but poor in love.