Aging with grace.... life transitions

[mattj]

At 42 I'm finally willing to listen to my elders, at least I'm attempting to. This is a half step towards that goal. Since none of you are related to me I'm less likely to rebel against your advice.

Anyhow, I'm looking for tips, from older men especially (happy to listen to tips from women too though) about growing older, changing roles etc. I've gotten to the point now where some of my aches and pains hang around indefinately instead of the occaisional visit, it takes 2 or 3 days to recover from a hangover now, I've had as many kids as I want, etc.

I've seen fear, bitterness and cynicism sneak into the lives of some of my loved ones as they've aged and would prefer to avoid that.

[Bill]

It's all about attitude which you alone have control of. Stay healthy and be happy it's a choice. At 57 I'm happier now than I think I've ever been.

[kevinw1]

Keep growing, changing, learning new stuff.

Learn your body's quirks and work around them.

Don't get stuck in a rut.

[Fawn]

Matt- I'm female and sorta your elder...51 years...what precious little I know from hangin out with dying people is:

you can focus on what sucks in your life or you can focus on what gives you joy, even if it is only
~the voice of your grandchildren over the phone
~watching the exercise ladies on TV
~flirting with the hospice nurse
~sitting on the deck you built before you got sick and watching the geese pooping in your backyard
~being stylist for your senior daughter's photos, even though you can't get out of bed.
~rocking w/ your mom on the front porch swing
~sitting w/ your siblings and telling stories about what "you got away with"
~when your brother the Nazarene preacher calls to tell you that the "Lord loves you" even though you haven't been to church since you were 18-hanging up on him.
~taking a hit off the scotch straight up that someone snuck to you as your liver disease drags you under

You get the idea.

[razz]

Female voice here. Be grateful for every good thing going on in your life, look for challenges to help you grow mentally/emotionally, keep active physically, serve others in some way that fits with your values, try to learn something new every day.

[Anne Lee]

Female. I'm finding the usual stuff about eating right, exercising and what not applies. Good undergarments help too. IIRC correctly your kids are still pretty young. The empty nest is looming and I get teary eyed and mopey just like everyone else... and then I have a glass of wine and DH and I start talking about our post-young-children life. It's important to have things you want to achieve, I think.

Oh, and good a good skin regimen. With lots of water.

[mattj]

oh man, i wish there was a SL forum booth at the end of the block I could go to and get a hug from all of you before my morning coffee.

[mattj]

argh, my timing is... just.... ahhhh... I stayed w/ my wife after she fessed up to swapping email/phone w/ an ex for most of our marriage. I just found out that my former best friend traded in his former wife for a "newer model". Oh man, I just don't know where to turn. Am I the only one who values family? I feel so alone right now.

[Fawn]

argh, my timing is... just.... ahhhh... I stayed w/ my wife after she fessed up to swapping email/phone w/ an ex for most of our marriage. I just found out that my former best friend traded in his former wife for a "newer model". Oh man, I just don't know where to turn. Am I the only one who values family? I feel so alone right now.

Too much raw in that sentence to address in a public forum, but here's your pre-coffee hug

((((((mattj)))))

[earthshepherd]

52 year old female, married with three grown kids, no grandkids yet but looking forward to those days:

1. Generic List
*slow down, enjoy the good things in life, and don't apologize for it
*accept who you are and how you are and don't apologize for it
* accept your spouse and kids just as they are, and enjoy them
* everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but that doesn't mean I have to agree with them (or even listen, sometimes)
* learn to say "no" to obligations that drag you down and "yes" to dreams that give you joy and fulfillment
* make every day a celebration of something
* eat healthy, exercise regularly, and get enough rest.

2. Specific List
*drink coffee and chat with sister online every morning
*grow a big garden
*read, write, pray every day
*learn at least one new thing every year
*always live with cats.