A difficult question...would you do it over again?

[catherine]

I won't even try to explain the very meandering internet surfing that brought me to this webpage, but it's very touching--in a Reader's Digest sort of way, but still.. it drives home a great point--one which relates to the topic.

[iris lily]

I won't even try to explain the very meandering internet surfing that brought me to this webpage, but it's very touching--in a Reader's Digest sort of way, but still.. it drives home a great point--one which relates to the topic.

That's a great story, wow. Inspiring.

[Stella]

100% yes. I love him madly. Like Florence, if I wasn't married to him, I don't even know that I'd want to be married. We've been through a lot together, but I think we are better for it.

[Spartana]

Well, I have a survey/question of my own.

If you could get married to your current spouse again, would you do it? .

Oh how to answer this - yes and no. I am divorced so this applies to ex-dh. He was basicly the right guy at the wrong time. We had a great relationship of approx. 20 years (married 17) yet we both had other things in our life that we wanted besides each other - mostly unorthodox career stuff both being in the coast guard at sea for long periods of time. Trying to fanagle ways we could be together yet have full lives in our careers and activities took too many compromises over the years for us to go on any longert together. We are both happier for having divorced but we were extremely compatible and wild about each other and in many ways had a perfect relationship - one I haven't been able to find with anyone else since. So on one hand, yes I'd marry him again since I feel he was the perfecy match for me. On the other hand, no I wouldn't unless we were both able to find a way to be together without both or either of of us having to sacrifice the other equally important things in our lives.

[puglogic]

Heavens yes, I'd marry him all over again.

In fact, I'd say that if I DIDN'T feel that way, I'd probably separate from him. I love living alone, love the complete independence of being single. He's got to be pretty darned compelling to yank me away from that lifestyle

I have been in relationships previously in life that left me lonely and sad and depressed. I find that a tremendous waste of life and time. It's like a prison of my own making, which fear & doubt keep me locked in. If I hadn't gotten myself free of those, I never would've found myself in a position to meet the one that really adds richness and joy to my life.

[artist]

In a heart beat! My husband is a much better man today than he was when I met him almost 26 years ago. He has a strong character, always puts the needs of others first, has an incredible work ethic, holds firm to his convictions, is by nature a gentle spirit and has an unwaivering faith. He's constantly working at bettering himself, growing and developing his character, working on minimizing the impact his weak areas have etc. Dedicates himself to serving others and believes that the marriage relationship is something that has unlimited potential for growth and closeness when you work at it.

[SteveinMN]

I have been in relationships previously in life that left me lonely and sad and depressed. I find that a tremendous waste of life and time. It's like a prison of my own making, which fear & doubt keep me locked in.

One of the greatest lessons I've learned in my life is that it is better for one to be alone than to wish one were.

[pinkytoe]

I probably wouldn't want to be married at all

This seems to be a prevailing theme among women I talk to these days. I wonder if married men feel the same.

[JaneV2.0]

I might have seriously considered marriage if I had been convinced that my life would be better for it. Someone asked once why I hadn't married and I replied that I could support myself and didn't want children, so what would be the point. Every once in awhile I see a married couple whose lives together are clearly better than they would be apart (the Reagans come to mind), so I know it's possible.

[frugalone]

Sometimes it's not about how good a person your spouse is. Sometimes I'm not sure I want to be married or in a relationship with anyone at all. Sometimes I think I got married too young (although, at the time, I thought I had "done it all"). I never lived in my own apartment (I did briefly have one w/a roommate, but that was just a cover so I could spend weekends with my now-husband, as my strict parents objected to just about anything I did.

I guess that's what they call 20/20 hindsight, huh?

Edit: I also think that if I were to meet someone else today, with the traits my spouse exhibited when we were dating, I would walk away. In other words, I would not tolerate today what I was willing to tolerate many years ago. I was far more tolerant of things back then. Perhaps I am turning into a curmudgeon.