The Daily Peeve / Rant

[SiouzQ.]

My next paycheck I will have only worked 3 days, THREE DAYS out of a two week pay period. My fall happened on my "Monday", the start of my work week that week...
On a brighter note however; I've saved some money because of not smoking...I'm on day 10

[decemberlov]

On a brighter note however; I've saved some money because of not smoking...I'm on day 10

Good for you SiouzQ

[SteveinMN]

Go, SQ, go!!

[SiouzQ.]

Not sure where to put this, but today I am feeling bad because I have caused someone hurt who doesn't deserve it and there is nothing I can really do about it. I finally, finally confirmed to myself for once and for all that it is better to be alone than be with the wrong person, even if they are sweet and kind and did nothing glaringly wrong. It has taken me a long time to admit to myself that I don't (and won't) have the same kind of feelings for this person as he does for me, and now I believe he is finally, FINALLY getting it. He posts EVERYTHING on FB but cryptically...his posts from this morning are sad and I know he knows I am seeing them. And I hate knowing I caused him to feel the pain of a hope dying.

Yet on the other hand, I finally feel free of this 9 month long questioning of myself and my feelings toward him and figured out I just can't force myself to be in a relationship with this man. He is a good person and I hate knowing that at times, because of my own confusion about the situation, I wasn't very graceful or communicative. He didn't deserve that but in the past few months I have made it pretty clear that I wasn't able to make the kind of commitment he was hoping for...

[SteveinMN]

SQ, I'm glad you finally were able to arrive at a conclusion several of us saw when you mentioned this relationship some time ago. As the book (sort of) said, you just weren't that into him. There's no foul and no wrong in that and you were smart to avoid further commitment while you figured this out. As I recall, your suitor appeared content to wait until you realized what you wanted (though I'm sure he wanted the decision to be different). Breaking up is not easy, but now both of you are free to find relationships which are better fits. It just isn't you for him or him for you. Good for you for finding the strength.

[SteveinMN]

And, in later news, a peeve of my own:

As DW and I were going through our "stuff" with our financial planner, we determined that some pension information had not yet been updated to include DW. So I contacted that employer and asked what I had to do. I was told that I needed to provide a copy of our marriage certificate -- but that since I was not updating this information during our first year of marriage, I would have to provide additional documentation (!). Some of the acceptable proof wasn't going to happen, like adding DW's name to the mortgage. But they would accept utility bills in both our names.

So I called up Xcel Energy and the local water utility and asked to add DW's name to the bills. Done. One call each, no delays, no questions beyond how DW's name was spelled. They asked for no proof at all. I probably could have told them my wife's name was Katherine Upton and they would have been fine to type that into their computers. So in the next month or so, I will receive utility bills in my and "Kate's" names and these will be submitted to my former employer as "proof" of our marriage.

Ridiculous.

[ctg492]

peeve of the day today:
Cookies and how I can not control myself around them

[Jilly]

I am spineless. Totally.

[Lainey]

And, in later news, a peeve of my own:

As DW and I were going through our "stuff" with our financial planner, we determined that some pension information had not yet been updated to include DW. So I contacted that employer and asked what I had to do. I was told that I needed to provide a copy of our marriage certificate -- but that since I was not updating this information during our first year of marriage, I would have to provide additional documentation (!). Some of the acceptable proof wasn't going to happen, like adding DW's name to the mortgage. But they would accept utility bills in both our names.

So I called up Xcel Energy and the local water utility and asked to add DW's name to the bills. Done. One call each, no delays, no questions beyond how DW's name was spelled. They asked for no proof at all. I probably could have told them my wife's name was Katherine Upton and they would have been fine to type that into their computers. So in the next month or so, I will receive utility bills in my and "Kate's" names and these will be submitted to my former employer as "proof" of our marriage.

Ridiculous.

Steve, that does seem ridiculous.
The corporation I work for went through a similar exercise about 5 years ago in requiring proof of legal relationships for insurance reasons. Seems like a lot of people "forgot" to delete their kids from the policy when they became of age, or had actually gotten divorced but kept the -ex on their policy. Lots of people were removed from insurance rolls when this audit was done.

[SteveinMN]

Steve, that does seem ridiculous.
The corporation I work for went through a similar exercise about 5 years ago

I know that bureaucracies create the rules they do out of overreaction to particular situations. It's easier to create a rule than to examine a situation and deal with transgressors individually and thoughtfully. I get that (though I don't like it). I can see an audit exposing a lack of controls over the eligibility of people, especially for expensive benefits like insurance.

It just gets me that it is pretty much no barrier to provide the additional (but required) documentation they want to verify a marriage certificate (a certified copy of which I also must provide). Useless hoops. And further proof that the private sector can be fully as screwed up as any government.